Gangs of the MidAtlantic...

As the season gets hotter and some team chase for the covetted team titles, (notice the mighty spot brand/ T6 team is not is such a chase) It's important to know whose territory you are in or you might end up getting shot. 'Cause you know when you're a jett you're a jett for life...

the bike line gang...

The Guys Gang

Dude's Talking about Cross Gang

The Bean's Gang

the Visit Pa Gang...

The Might Spot Brand /Twin Six - Secret Henry's Team Gang

the one man gang.

That was a sticky situation...

I did a little recon on the Susquehanna course yesterday. Don't really know if that's gonna be the course that they are gonna use, but I rode the traditional loop that is raced there. Since I know the MASS promoters are spending a lot of time grooming the trails there, and the course will be well marked, I'm pretty excited. Truth be told Susquehanna is only about half an hour from my house. The trails are raw, and provide climbing that we don't get in the fairhill-middle run corridor. I expect a hard race here for sure.

Last night I put my stuff together excitedly getting ready for a long mountain bike ride.
I was hoping to do one of those epic 4 park rides. The gods however would not have it as thunderstorms rolled in and pelted the trails in our area. When I awoke, I thought about doing a road ride, but damn, I hate road riding, it is just not, well soul fulfilling for me.

I will say this, Sunday I had a really nice road ride with Mike (Jan), Slick Rick, Dan the man, Jay Z (CEO of First State Velo Corp), and Leo. Dan, did a great job of making sure everyone helped with the work load, and we did over 60 miles in less than 3 hours. That was sweet. I felt good, and not totally alien in the pack. That was strange. They say when you ride with great riders, it elevates your game, I'm gonna throw my good day up to that old saying ...

But I digress, generally I don't love the road, and I feel Like I have been riding it too much lately anyway, so I was dreading the thought of having to ride it to day. I found myself saying, "dude if you can just get through this..." Then I remember a conversation I had with one of my teammates a couple weeks ago, where he was totally fried. A long season of racing had taken it's toll on his body, and his mental state. He was saying, "I can just get through the next couple of weeks..." I told him, if you feel yourself saying I can just get through, then you need to take a break. He did and now he is totally ripping again, and so, with this is mind, I put the lycra down, and went to the Post house with Diane, where I had a tremendous waffle smothered in grease and butter delicious.

 

Next week will be super long days at work. I know that I won't likely get to ride until the end of the week. That'll be a pretty sweet way to prepare for the race at Susquehanna huh? I suppose the rest will do me some good, as my final goal of the mountain bike season will be a couple of weeks later. It's tough being stretched to limit sometimes, juggling work, family, life, and bike. But I also think that it makes this life worth it all, and you'll never hear me complain.

respect
fm

breaking up is hard to do.

So I have had this hairbrush for like 10 years. I love this brush. We have been through all kinds of hair phases together. The shaved look, the corporate look, the wooly mammoth look, the blonde look, and most recently the longish bushy look, my brush and I, we have grown up together. Diane doesn’t love my brush. In fact she has so much disdain for my brush that she threw it away. I am incredibly heartbroken over the loss of my hairbrush. But wait, it gets worse. Not only did she throw away my beloved hairbrush, but then she says I need to comb my hair, and that in fact by combing my hair is better for it. So she got me a comb. We’ll call this comb the scalp annihilator. The scalp annihilator not only rips my hair from my scalp, not only digs trenches in my head; it makes my hair look awful. I mean, I recognize that I’m not a pretty man, but damn when I use the scalp annihilator my hair looks like pipi freaking longstocking on crack. It's all stringy, and just nasty. Like I swam in a pool for a month and never rinsed my hair with clean water. Growing my hair was a pain in the ass as it is, I am very not pleased. The scalp annihilator is hitting the trash can today, and I’ll be on a mission to find a new hairbrush. Either that or I’m done with combing/brushing my hair all together. Hell, I’ve come to work like that before and it’s way better than what the scalp annihilator is doing to me. Maybe, I’ll go for the look that my buddy Roger is pulling off.

I gotta say like was much easier when I kept my hair short. Damn dirty hippy hair. BTW, Roger is the master of all things stan's, thank you for getting my tire which i blew off the rim, all set up.

respect

fm

whoring...

Magical Potion...

E-Town gettin' jiggy. E-town loves his new single.

Day 1
E-Town and I rolled over to Fairhill. We rode for about an hour and a half. It was pure swamp ass conditions. My legs didn't feel great. I drank about a 1/3 bladder of lemonade Accelerade. The flavor was very milky. Lemonade Milk Shake might be a more accurate description. Good news, I didn't gag or puke when using. On the downside I did develop a zit on my forehead. Additionally, Accelerade did nothing to lower the humidity, and when I rubbed it on my stitches, they did not remove themselves. Perhaps most disappointing no natural male enhancement was experienced. Pre-use measurements, were constant with post use results. I am however, hopeful.

Les was ripping in Philly Thursday, Les always rips....

Day2
I drank a little Lemon Accelerade on my way to the Belmont for the Thursday night races. Again, it tasted good, not too sweet, but chalky. I can't say it is refreshing or thirst quenching. Accelorade did nothing to reduce the traffic from my office to Philly. Just before the race I took a big swig of Accelerade. On the first lap, I laid down in front of Buddy and Josh West, 3x. Josh finally passed me . On my third lap, I burped my tired crossing a big log, I had to stop and put more air into it. Good news, I drank probably 3/4 of a bladder, and at race pace, never came close to puking it back up. Downside, Accelerade did not keep me from riding poorly on the first lap; additionally it did nothing to keep me from flatting. Perhaps most disappointing, I still have not experienced any natural male enhancement. Most unfortunate, I tired to make a move on my wife tonight, and was rudely denied. I now believe that Accelerade does nothing to make women desire me more.


Day 3
Pumped up the tires to 50lbs on the mountain bike and headed out for an hour spin to loosen up the legs. I drank some super cold lemon Accelerade to see if it is less thick served cold. Ten minutes in my rear tire blows off the rim, as tires set up with Stan's shouldn't be inflated greater than 40lbs. I wish Accelerade would have reminded me of that before the tire blew off the rim. Effectively my day was done. Still no noticeable male enhancement, I must mention the zit on my forehead is gone.

I laid down in front of this guy 3x on thursday.

Day 4
Did the queen b ride today, almost 3 hours mellow pace, I sat in for the bulk of the ride. Towards the end, I did have one attack. I planned it. I drank a bottle of Accelerade roughly 30 minutes before my attack, and it went well. I had plenty of energy at the very end of the ride. Now Accelerade did not shield me from the fellow in the see through Saeco shorts, and I was forced for a brief moment to be subjected to every pock mark, hair, and boil on his ass. I quickly rotated to the back. Additionally, Nancy pointed out that she has never seen anyone with legs as white as mine in the middle of the summer. Accelerade has done nothing to make me tanner. Again, I am disappointed, no growth or enhancement in the male genital area.

true refreshment...

Final Analysis:

Accelerade Will:

1. provide you fuel for long efforts.
2. did not make me vomit
3. has a nice lemonade flavor, but was a little milky- the thick chalky favor is tough, but I never came close to puking it, which is a real plus for me. I do plan to continue to use this, and am debating using it in my up coming 6 hour race

Accelerade will not:

1. make your Johnson bigger
2. make you more attractive to the ladies
3. make you tanner
4. prevent flat tires
5. prevent you from crashing
6. Shield you from looking at a dude's pock covered ass in threadbare shorts
7. Remove stitches
8. Reduce traffic, heat, or humidity

And that friends, was my first, and my last product review on fatmarc.com. I hope you enjoyed it. I appreciate Accelerade's generosity and them allowing, me "some dude" to comment on their product. I'm sure they are a very nice company. Maybe not as nice as Spot Brand, Henry's Bikes, or Twin Six, but nice for letting me play. Also thanks to everyone that weighed in on whether I should even be willing to try this stuff, in exchange for a review on the site. This wasn't an easy decision for me, and I've done it once I won't do it again. You know kinda like an aging porn star who decides she doesn't want to do anal anymore. I'm a whore for sure, but not that kinda whore.

respect
fm

Friday's Rule.

My nephews enjoy the slip and slide with a little help from their father.

hella yeah.

have a safe weekend folks.

respect

fm

Congratulations !

Please join me in congratulating Dennis and Linda who are going to be married today. Dennis and Linda are awesome folks, and everyone here at www.fatmarc.com wants to wish them the absolute best.

super mad respect

fm

Fairhill

The Pirates of the Caribbean may have Jolly Roger, we have this...

Way back in February as the other spot whores and I sat down to plan the season, the fairhill classic came up on each of our lists. It's a local race, a 7 minute bike ride from my house, annually one of the largest drawing, and best run, best courses in the east. Diane looked at me as I was working on prioritizing my races and gave me the real deal.

"I hope you don't list Fairhill as an A race this year, because you always seem to fuck that one up."

This brochure was on the table at registration. This lead to lots of Katie assbusting...

She was right. The past 4 seasons the Fairhill Classic has brought me nothing but disappointment, and frustration. (see post from a year ago). So I made the race a “c” race.

At the line up I realized the group was huge this year, probably upwards of 60 starters. All of the superstuds were present, Stork, Roman, Blair, Clearly, Kusick, Ransom, Elk, Jens, Slick Rick, Auer, not to mention the 50 other some dudes like me looking for a break through. I was impressed as there were probably 8-10 single speeds in our group alone.

Henry's/Spot compound.

The start was long and flat. I probably went into the woods in like 40th or so. Once in the woods I started to pick folks off. Elk, rocking his new BKB kit was ripping, we worked well together. I tried to hold back just a bit as the swamp ass conditions (93 degrees, 80% humidity) and long mileage, 29 were gonna make this a battle of attrition.

I stuck to my guns, and had good flow threw the single track, Elk got a small gap on me, and then lost a contact, thus ending his day. That was a bummer. I carried on feeling mighty good. I got to my favorite section of fairhill: south park and Kenny’s revenge, and I just rolled. I felt good; I kept moving and passing folks. Tight rolling single track, somewhere I can get my flow on- that’s my specialty. Cruised through the beer stop, was super stoked to see fuzzy, and then hit the field and something went wrong.

Big Bush's front.

I had a serious meltdown, climbing in the sun, I got chills, goose bumps, really dizzy and felt like I was gonna puke. I jumped off the bike I laid down on the side of the trail. I really couldn’t move. Unfortunately, I let everyone I just passed right back by, and old Katie cruised by to bust my balls a bit.

Big Bush's back

I was bound and determined to not dnf this race, so once the world stopped spinning I started rolling again. Very slowly, I started to feel better. Stu bridged up to me and talked me through the skip a trail, I saw Ben up the trail, and I passed, Suddenly I made it to the covered bridge, and I felt good. What happened next, I’m really not to sure, but I felt strong, I knew I had three climbs to go, so I started attacking, up the first climb, through the twilight zone and I was passing people. I am by no means a climber, but on this day, I was moving, I passed folks in big groups, up the hills, I couldn’t believe the time I was making up. I couldn’t believe how good I felt. Up the final climb I figured I’d settle in, but then I saw 2 more guys, I drilled it, passed them, and headed up the road finish. The last vet I passed was on gears, so feeling so good, and riding really the best 6 miles of my life I didn’t want to give back one single spot. I wound up, and I sprinted, it was the best sprint of my single speed life. And just 20 yards from the line who did I slip by: El Presidente himself- Todd.

Slick Rick and Tom.

In the end our group had 60 starters, 45 finishers, I was 18th. I figured I had to get 30 guys in those final six miles. It was likely the best I will ever feel on a bike. I was disappointed that I melted down like I did, but super stoked that the final 6 miles. That was surreal. I was hurting, but I was moving. Sad to say this, but this was the first time I left Fairhill feeling good about my ride. The experience was delightful.

Monkey doing some weird arm thingie...

Monkey continued her return to racing with a nice 3rd place in her race, for those counting she officially has more MASS podiums than I do now. I know she suffered in the heat today, and really didn’t enjoy the course as the long field climbs, and mucky single track played against her strengths, they neutralized her good single track skills a bit. But, she was proud at the end of the day.

Chillin' at the henry's/Spot compound. Yep, that's Buddy drinking a CAN of beer !!!

These guys make my life really hard...

Katie was in town this weekend, and raced the elite women’ race and pretty much crushed. Oh, yeah she was on a single speed. It’s great having her in town, we talked some good shit, and hung out at the secret Henry’s compound afterwards drinking beverages, and telling stories of the race. That was pretty cool. I enjoyed passing out hammer gel flyers that were at registration that had Katie’s picture on it that was pretty damn funny. Blair and Slick Rick both podiumed, and Travis took the W again, with Ransom also on a single close in toe. It goes without saying that they were both on single speeds.

Kyle and Katie- the elite race winners respectively, each re-fuel after the race. Kyle Goes with a burger, while Katie is using something- must be a new hammer gel product not yet on the market yet...

Dieter; E-town and our cute waitress... 

down at the deer park...

Afterwards, a bunch of us headed into town to enjoy some more pops, nachos, and some fine food. All in All it was a very fruitful day.

respect
fm