chapter 89: hot wheels

So I called my friend Katie tonight, who at the moment seems to be the world's most famous victim of bike theft.

Me: "Yo Katie, what's up? how are you ? "

Katie: " pretty good all things considered."

Me: "Katie I got the sweetest deal. I found these super sweet cane creek carbon wheels with dugast tires on ebay, super cheap. I am so stoked."

Katie: "F- you Marc, F- you"

All joking aside, Katie was pretty bummed, she really loved her primus mootry. I was once a victim of bike theft myself. I was 13, it was my Stu Thompson huffy. I was super bummed because I had spent a summer cutting grass to save up and buy that son of a bitch. Yeah, it was a huffy, yeah it was $120 bucks, but at 13 that was a lot. I remember riding to the Castle Mall with my buddy DJ who was supposed to bring the lock. He forgot it. I said something like, "well, who'd want to steal my huffy anyway." Son of a bitch, not only did my bike get snatched, but I got my first lesson in irony that day too.

Sounds like Katie's sponsors, and insurance are rallying around her, and she should have some nice rides for the weekends Crank Brother Cups in Boulder. The folks at Primus Mootry are working hard to get her another frame too. That's nice. Viva la Katie...

(notice the super smooth opposite side dismount used by both e-town and wes the conqueror. This my friends is from the advanced cross class.)

Hey, to the dude or dudes who keeps coming to my sight to get picture/images of FFA to put in your spank bank, please stop. You are giving me nightmares, and really freaking me out. Yes, FFA is cute, but damn, she's my friend, a good friend, I get just a little creeped out with the "more FFA please comments." If you are looking for spank material, may I recommend drunkcyclist, Big Johnny has a nice collection for you. I had a blog idea that FFA didn't like too much, I offered to post every creepy email she gets from guys, on my blog. She said that wouldn't be nice, but I'm still hopeful to have the creepy email of the week feature soon.

(I really liked this shot of Erica and Betsy from Beacon)

In closing monkey and I had a banner crop of trick or treaters tonight. Kids are funny, when I was trick or treating, man you got one piece of candy per door. Now a days, I hold out the old bowl, and sure enough, all those little gobblins take handfuls. Even the cutest little kitten, or clown, punches their fist into my bowl and take handfuls. My favorite costume of the night was a couple of 15 year olds, who came as pizza delivery dudes, Jeff Spicoli Hawaiian shirts and all. Too bad it was a little ceasars box, their pizza sucks, now if they had had some Rosa's pizza I would have bartered for a little beer. Maybe next year fellas.

respect- fm

(pictures for this blog were taken from Dennisbike.com)

This shot is from Kevin' Dillard's Raw Gallery. I was so stoked when he included me in this gallery. So many really bad ass folks, and they you have me. Fatmarc, second cousin of Bibs the michelin man. The only thing softer is Charmin. I mean, I'm softer than Mr. Whipple.

chapter 55: south philly pretzels

It’s a little past midnight. My legs are still burning with the embrocation from the days race. Yeah, I know use rubbing alcohol to clean it off, but I have to admit, it’s a feeling I don’t mind. Beacon race was on slate today. That course is so much fun, so fast, wow. I had a good ride today taking 11th. Got a good start, and then after 2 laps or so found myself dangling off of the 5-10th group. On the runs, I’d get myself back on, when I had to pedal, I’d find myself gapped. Just not great legs today. That’s okay, last week was the first time since ’99 that I had a MAC top 10, and frankly, It may have been only the 2nd/3rd top 10’s I’ve had in a MAC race, so I surely am not disappointed with 11th. On the final lap, I came up to E-town, and he drilled it trying one last time to get me up to that group, we had a little wrestling match over in one of the chicanes, after that I was pretty much on cruise control to the finish. Up the finishing straight, I sat up a bit until Ethan started screaming at me, I thought someone had slipped through, so I stood up and gave her a little gas, it turns out E-town was just f-ing with me.

Matt Ferrari took the w today, he was wearing fishnet stockings under his kit. Bravo Matt, Bravo. Super fast guy, Super cool too. Kat had a sweet ass bee costume too.

Monkey had a good day, Saturday night I almost printed up a check list for her as a joke, since she forgot her shoes last week. Her back has been bothering her a bit, so I let her off the hook with the list. So when we get to the race and she tells me she forgot her kit altogether I laughed out loud. Diane is not an airheaded woman at all, she’s pretty pragmatic. So to forget stuff 2 weeks in a row, well that’s pretty funny. Mike Conair lent her a Medium skinsuit, which fit kinda baggy, but beggars can’t be choosers. For the record there will be a check list before we leave for Hebe’s race.

After the Elite race, where Wes the conqueror scored a 10th place and 1 UCI point, I was very pleasantly surprised to find Elk had left some fresh south philly pretzels for me. The entire trip home I though about how good they would be to eat. Why did I wait until I got home? That is because, at home I have the super special south philly pretzel mustard, also courtesy of Elk, that frankly can not be substituted.

Diane put together another nice ride, I know she really loved the course, the Beacon guys always do a bang up job. My FIL had his first cross race today, boy he looked like found a spot of difficulty on the amphitheater of doom, but he stuck it out and had a good ride. I gotta say I was proud of him. Anyway, it’s late, and I need to get my ass in bed. Hot balmed legs and all.

respect
fm

chapter 07: Joe

This is joe. Joe is a member of the Delaware Cyclocross Coalition of Delaware. Joe comes to practice religiously, he works his ass off. He is a really nice guy. Joe has a really fast start. Two weeks ago, Wes looked at me and said this, "did you see Joe leading up the run up tonight?" Joe is one of the things I love about our cross season, and our cross practices. VIVA LA JOE!

Last night seem to be particularity hard. Not sure if it was lack of warm up, or legs still noodled from the weekend, or the ridiculously fast conditions last night. Racing to get in all our efforts before we find ourselves standing around in the dark of a school yard was tough. My legs felt like wood last night. Only consolation was that I think everyone felt the same. Misery loves company. Last night was our last night at the school, with day light savings time leaving us this weekend, we will be forced to relocate to another secret location. The season it rolls on.

After practice Lisa, Lisa; Spot Paul, E-town, Matt N, FFA, Monkey, Wes the conqueror, and I went to McGlynn's for replenishment. I had a turkey dijon sandwich on a pretzel roll with french fries. Oh french fries how I love thee, why oh why are you so bad for me?

respect
fm

chapter 75: finger cramps

It was a hard race. Perhaps I didn’t warm up soon enough. I watched for the official start, the signal was 3 minutes to go. I prepared myself the best that I could. I bit my lip a little bit. I felt my adrenaline spike up. I starred at the start, still :30 seconds or so to go. In my head I visualized my start. I had my race planned out, and I was focused on my goal. I felt myself breathing heavy, easy boy, keep it under control, don’t blow your wad in the starting blocks…

The clock on my computer reads 12:00 and registration for Nationals opened up. For a Joe Six Pack like me, the best chance for a good race, is a good start, which if you don’t have any real credientials, is based on order of entry. The clock on my computer reads 12:00, I hit refresh once, nothing, twice, nothing, third time, game on…

I selected my class, slide down the page, entered my pass word, comfirmed my info hit process. Error message “ your USCF category is required, and your licence format is incorrect.” “FUCK!” I say, I get looks for the folks outside of my office. It’s slam your hand in the door time and time to get mad folks. I drive forward, change the format of my licence, enter my category, “3”. Hit submit, here comes the credit card # request. I have a good 10 ten key, I know my cc number, this is my strength. I hear Katie and Rick in my head, train your weaknesses, race your strengths, 16 digits in less than 2 seconds, bust out my cvv code, and the expiration like nothing.

Despite a small set back, I hit the submit button. Seconds later my confirmation comes up. 12:02… That’s right baby, 12:02… with any luck that’ll get me a good registration position, and a decent starting position. Damn, it’s good to be a gangster. You know, I’ve been working hard, and that’s 3 good races, in 3 days., Hells yeah momma.

Only disappointment is no “confirmed riders” yet, I want to see how I finished up you know, see my results, also want to see who else across the country geeked out as much as I did. 12:02…

that better be a second row start….

respect
fm

chapter 41: Clubber Lang could take B.A. Baracus

Wow. What a weekend. What a great and exhausting weekend. Thursday night Wes, and Kerry came down, Wes from PA, Kerry from Boston. Thursday night we hit half moon inn, and had some nice dinner. Friday was spent
At Granogue taping the course, and making the corners as evil as we could. Tom
Had an inspired set up. The race had over 400 riders. That was awesome. So Friday while we were working the course, Eric Tonkin, who was staying with Tom, shows up. E-town and I were walking around getting ready to do some openers. We walk to the pit where Eric had his rental car parked, and we do what B-men do. We talk shit.

Me: So you think you’re riding the course today Tonkin?
E-Town: no fucking way you’re riding this course, we don’t care who you are man. Pro, no Pro, No one pre-rides the course unless you are DCCofD baby…

We start laughing, unbeknownst to us, ole Erik was sitting in the passenger side of the car. He gets out, and E-town and I each go a little pale.

Eric: Hey, guys, I was gonna ride down through the park, I won’t ride the course, it’s cool, don’t worry

E-town and I just look at each other and start laughing. A real bunch of tough guys we are. We followed up with: No sweat we were just doing what B-men do, you know talk a lot of shit. We are gonna ride it shortly we can show you the loop if you’d like. We all laughed.


Tonkin was super cool he went out and rode in the park, and came back and we showed him a loop. Super good guy. I’ll cheer for him always. Every time E-town and I saw him the rest of the weekend, we joked about him not riding our course.
That was funny.

Speaking of Portland, let me also say that it was super cool to talk with Molly Again. Now I don’t think the DCCofD is gonna try to claim her yet, but I will say that Molly spent some years here in Delaware, had a really nice race Saturday, and fought really hard Sunday to get back despite an untimely flat. All the way around a class act, especially facing a very tough weekend outside of racing. I am a fan.

This is Rob Thomas, no not that no talent ass clown from Match box 20, but the dccofder. Here he rocks the mustache that all married men want, the "trucker" but never make it out of the front door with. Rob clearly is not married, and clearly has the machismo to pull this look off. Two good rides for Rob this weekend. I'm gonna credit them to the 'stache.

Mega is a cross rock star. First she took over the Mid Atlantic winning the hearts and friendship of oh I guess everyone, and then she moved to New England with her super cool husband, JD. When I crossed the line after my race, I rode by mega, and I was still pretty much in oxygen debt, I had a hard race, but one which I was proud of, especially after a super poor start, she says to me, “you have a passion for this like no one I have seen, you wear it on your face the entire race.” Or something like that. I think I blushed a little when she said that. That was really nice.

Back in my wrestling days there were few voices I could hear clearly when I was getting my face smashed into the mat. My father was one of them. Saturday at Granogue, my parents, my brother and his kids, along with Diane’s parents, and sister’s family all came out. Near the end of my race, as I struggled up one of the run ups, trying to bridge to the next group I heard his voice clear as day, “stop pussy footing around and get up there!” I had to crack a smile for a second, I swear for half a second he said, “shoot the half nelson, shoot the half!” I was incredibly grateful for all of my family coming out to cheer Diane and I on. That was pretty awesome.

I want to thank everyone that helped chip in the make the Granogue race such a success. So Many of the DCCof Ders and shit folks just in our bike community, and everyone. Buddy, Matt and Les who solved the beer emergency, and who helped head up the break down, which anyone who has ever helped promote a race, knows is so tough at the end of the day. Thanks to Kerry who drove 7 hours to tape the course, staple numbers to registration that was awesome. Thanks to Wes who probably had no idea when we became friends that I would put him to work at races. Embarassingly I have no pictures of Kerri, as I was warming up during her race. Dennisbike won't let me down...

Sunday morning 6:00 am came too soon. At 4:00 am I was awoken by a sore knee, so I went down stairs and popped a handful of Advil. At 6:00am when my alarm went off I felt like I was just getting comfortable again. Getting out of bed, I felt every effort of Granogue, and wondered how the Wiss race would go. I got up and loaded up the toaster. Tired, and sore, but excited.

The venue was just and hour away, which was nice and we saw some really nice Balloons on the way up. That was soothing. Diane had to drive as she a had a little race gut on the way to the race. She had another problem, but I’ll let her tell that story, that added just to the drama to our morning.

This is Dieter who had on some sweet hot pants today. These pants made his ass look super hot, and of course I mean that in the most heterosexual way that I can. The only issue that I saw there was the DPL that he was sporting. You know the dreaded panty line. I told him I could get him a thong if he’d like.

This Picture is Mark, Dina, and Fergie. Way back in 1995 when I first heard of cross, but wouldn’t race it for another 3 years, there were 2 names that would come up in our local shop. Bob Reuther, and Dina Desantis. I remember watching videos of nationals and these two locals ripping it up. Dina was also big time on the local mountain bike scene. I was super stoked today to see her racing the B women’s class. I was cheering for her on top of the run up as I was warming up. I’d yell, “go Dina Desantis, you don’t know me, but I know you” She had a great ride, and I think is may show up for a some more cross races. I’m hoping to lure her to the dccofd practice. I had a really nice conversation with her. It’s always cool to meet your heroes. I was super stoked to meet her, and see her racing again. If nothing else, that made my day.

I heart Katie. She is a good friend. I was so stoked to see her down this weekend and to be able to watch her race, and hang out. After today’s race Peter was videoing her, and she was getting interviewed, I was putting a jacket on her, and giving her water. I’d say something like, “Miss Compton, here’s your jacket, Miss Compton here’s your water, Miss Compton your podium is waiting” All of which is an old inside joke dating back to when Justin Thompson first met Katie. Justin was maybe 14, and Katie was maybe 18, Justin met her and said something like,” miss Compton, it’s nice to meet you…” Katie has always been super low key and cool, but from then on it was Miss Compton all the way. BTW did anyone here Mayhew say, “Katie Compton original DCCoDer” that was rad.

billy v and katie 

Pooh and Tigger at it again... 

Diane and Kerry. 

I love this shot. No E-town and I didn't really take 3rd, but we were in the top 10, and didn't want Spanky, who rode awesomely taking the win, to be alone on the podium. E-town is my one of my training partners. We basically try to kill each other every week at the DCCof D gathering. We have somewhat contrasting skill sets, as he is fast, smooth, and explosive, and where I grind, muck and suffer. The best way I can describe this is like this. If E-town was down 10 yards on a rider, he can jumpsand close the gap in 10 seconds, where as I could close the same gap but I would need a good lap to grind away the lead, and then make the pass. E-town has been a selfless worker for me in every race this year, I love racing with him, and appreciate him in practice, in the race, and hanging out. E-town took a three up sprint with Todd, and Chad Saturday, which was very impressive.

This is Fort James. He is a good friend of mine. Two weeks ago he rode with me to the Hagerstown race, and he ate half a yogurt. For about a week in a half, I have had this funky ass smell in my car. For the life of me I have not been able to shake it. I though it was because I left my shoes in the car, or maybe I left a smelly jersey under the seat, but no avail. Friday afternoon, as Kerry, Wes and I made our way to work at Granogue, Kerry asks, "hey Marc do you always store yogurt in your back door?" I immediately knew what the funky smell in my car was for the past week and a half. Fort James' yogurt. If you thought it smelled bad, you should have seen how it looked.

On the way home the Delaware Cyclocross Coalition of Delaware stopped at the Red Sombrero in West Chester. We were tired, beaten, some of us had good days both days, some of us had one good day, some of us had tough days both days. In the end, we were all proud of ourselves, our family for coming together for a great event Saturday and lots of great racing this weekend. I had a super chicken burrito that made me poop funny when I got home. Diane (chunky monkey) had 3 tacos which she said were good. Not great but solid for a taco. Me I may have put in two of my best cross races ever, both days starting considerably far back, so yeah, I got that going for me. Thanks to all my great Fort Teammates for cheering me on, thanks to my Spot/Twin Six teammates for cheering me on, Thanks to all the DCC of Ders who help make this so great. Thanks to Dan the man and Wes the conquorer for pitting for me. Thanks to everyone for a killer weekend. Thanks to Tom for dreaming of Granogue being what it is, and for pimping out cross for everyone.

respect
fm
fort frames
spot brand
Twin six
secret henry's team

Friday night Chris, Cheryl and Fred the wonder dog crashed at our place, it was cool to have them has house guests.

chapter 45: life is good.

Hey you know, I know that I don’t suck. I appreciate all the kind words folks had for me. I was a bit down Saturday, but in the scheme of things, watching slick rick have convulsions from laughing do hard at Old School really helped to put things into perspective. The pumpkin party was a huge success. The copious amounts of fine Belgium beer sure seemed to help too. E-town, Jan, and Rob need to meet Buddy. The thing is about this blog, about me, is this, I’m a pretty passionate guy, I rarely do things a little bit. You can count on me to give 100%, and I use this blog as a means to express myself. I try not to over think things, just blurt out what’s on my mind, and express what I’m feeling. That's my excuse for bad spelling and grammar. I want to express myself, but not over edit or polish my thoughts. Yeah, I pimp my sponsors, but even try to be so over the top at that, that it’s kind of funny. ( I heart twin-six;spot;fort;henry's and howard at bL) I am after all just some dude, who likes to race his bikes, and is hooked on cross. So yeah, I was a little bummed out Saturday, but I was damn lucky to get away as easily as I did. I could have easily broke something and had my season over. So yeah, I’m still not happy about it, but I am over it. Having good friends, great people around me sure helps. On to Granogue and Wiss. We have a full house this weekend, and lots of racing; it's gonna be great.

respect
fm

chapter 12: thank you for pot smoking

I went grocery shopping lat night. I had Matt and Tommy cash me out at the grocery store. I stand starring at my cashier Tommy. He says nothing to me.

Me: Hey there Tommy, do you want my super card or anything?

Tommy: huh, oh yeah, that would be cool.

Me: Yeah, hey there buddy, you doing okay?

Tommy, real squinty eyed: Yeeaah, man, I’m real fine…

Me: Looks like it.

Tommy, picking up my water ices: Dude, these things are good, I could eat an entire pack of them. Hey Matt aren’t these good.

Matt, equally squinty eyed, looking into space ignoring my groceries that he is supposed to be bagging: “___”

Tommy: Hey Matt, I’m talking to you!!!

Matt: Oh, yeah, I was just spacing…

Tommy: He, he, he …

Me: hey guys, I’m all for a little fun, but this is a little load, can we pick it up a bit? I spent more time in this line than shopping

Tommy, nodding his head at me: yeah, man, that’s cool, sorry, we’re just spacing know what I mean?

Me: Yeah, I get it; I just want to get home, okay…

Tommy: yeah, man, I know, I want to go home too, Hey JIM (the manager) can I go on break soon man?

Old Man in line behind me leaves and goes to go to self serve.

Jim, the white dread locked nose pierced manager, who amazingly held this place together: Tommy stay on target buddy no break until 8:30 Finally, Tommy finishes up hands me my receipt. Looking right through me, and kinda wobbling

ME: Hey dude, you have a great night now, thanks for coming in, it was great talking to you

Tommy: Oh, yeah, un huh, yeah… see you dude.

Mary Jane and good customer service experiences do not go together. Look I wasn’t looking for this dude to wash my bike, just to be nice, or on the same planet as me. I’ll tell you this, I have never sampled the hippie lettuce, in my teens I was too scared of my parents, in my 20’s I was too angry, and finally when I was kinda interested I was in my 30’s and figure if I haven’t stared yet, why should I? You know, I have plenty of friends who smoke pretty regularly. I’ll say this they are some of the smartest, most intelligent, hardest working, most intense people I know. I almost think they do this as a means to turn off their brains for a bit, or maybe to just reduce the intensity levels of their lives, I can get that. My one buddy said, “some guys come home and drink a sixer to unwind, me, I take a bong hit and everything is good.” I'll even go with the tree as a means to expand your mind, to open you up and help you think, in a timothy leary kinda way.

These are all successful people. But Tommy, Tommy is just a kid, and I’m guessing that he isn’t all that bright to start with so the idea of turning off his brain is really just a bad idea. Really bad idea, especially when all I want to do is buy some water ice, some TP, and some peanut butter. Damn, maybe that’s the strategy of the grocery store, if enough people have to deal with Tommy, then more and more of us will use self serve, and eventually, dirty hippy Tommy will just smoke himself out of a job. Yikes.

Went to the Iron Cross Lite today. Not such a great day for me. First lap, made the initial selection with Todd, Brewer, Zach, Mike, Me, Jared, E-town, and Morgan. We had a nice gap to the pack, and this group looked to stick. Then I stuck it into a trail lining log, up over my bars and a perfect dismount on to the ground. I rung my bell a bit, and as I laid there looking up I remember thinking, “wow, the tree’s and the sky are really pretty.” Then I remember thinking, “why the hell is that guy standing over me and yelling at me.” I started to come back to reality as I finally could hear what he was saying, “hey, man are you alright? Are you okay?” I snapped back to reality, jumped on my bike and tried to get going again, totally DFL. I was a little dizzy, and pulled up. Fuck. I DNFed. Aside from ruining a pink helmet, I am super disappointed. I felt good today, I have been working my ass off, and I’m not gonna say that I would have won, but I would have had a good ride today. I want to be Mr. Happy, have fun, great time at the races guy, but I also work very hard at this, I don’t expect to win or even get great results every week. I do expect to live up to my potential, and up to the amount of work I put out. That’s what hurts, my investment, my sacrifice, is high, so to fuck up two weeks in a row, is pretty damn near unacceptable. Too many people, my wife, slick rick, dan the man, e-town, wes, James, buddy, matt, brent at t-6, gregg at fort, Jessica at SPOT all of them have invested far too much time, far too much energy for me to squander their efforts. Yeah, I did have fun today, outside of my race, but hell I drove 2 hours to race. If this is gonna continue, I’m gonna cash in my chips and buy an overpriced Trek Madone or some outrageous custom road bike and start trying to win all the local bike tours. Hell, maybe I’ll get me an eight inch front and rear travel down hill bike and start free riding at White clay. Fuck I Suck. As Gregg said to all of the Fort riders, no excuses, just your best. I need to start living up to my end of that deal.

I was very grateful to all the racers and spectators who stopped up and asked me how I was, and if I was okay. I really appreciated that kindness. Thanks to the folks that came over to check on me too.

On a positive note I was also super stoked for my Fort Teammate Zach who had a huge effort today taking 4th in the race. Very well done. The saving grace of the day was on the way home Diane and I stopped at a fine Amish farmer’s stand and picked up 4 wicked big pumpkins. We are having a little pumpkin carving party tonight I invited the entire B field at the start of my race, but I think just E-town is coming. Down but not totally out.

Respect
fm

chapter 54: hey dirty, baby I got your money...

When I left the clog factory tonight the skies opened up for a brief moment caused me to be saddened. I so love cross practice, and the thought of it being cancelled made me very sad. But alas, Slick Rick the ruler, called it " game on" , and so it was. Albeit the smallest gathering of the year, once the barriers were set up the sky's as if not wanting to rain on our parade, subsided.


Slick Rick and I decided we should take it easy tonight, just some skills work and a lot of bullshiting. Then Monkey cracked the whip a bit, and we had a couple of nice efforts. All in all it was a very fun practice. It was strangely warm, and despite my tired, almost wooden legs, I had a very fun time. After practice a group of us hit El Hefe, and enjoyed some fine mexican food, although I admit my enchiladas did not agree with my constitution, if you know what I mean. Next week I'm going with a burrito...

respect
fm

chapter 99 : fresh meat

Okay, as I am totally immersed in my fall time passion of cyclocross, I would hate for anyone to think that I have forgotten about my outstanding Spot Brand – Twin Six team. Although I admit the Gay UPS truck and Green Meanie have been cleaned, and are currently hibernating for a fall nap, as soon as this silly barrier jumping fetish of mine comes to a close, and I bulk up about 20 pounds, I’ll be back to the single track.

In preparation for another strong campaign in 2007, the Spot Brand-Twin Six team is happy to announce 2 additions to our team. Ben Yoder and Bob Elam are our new whores. That’s right folks: Fresh Meat get ‘em while their fresh. Bob and Ben have extensive roots in the local single speed community and have proven themselves as dedicated and hard working racers. Bob finished 5th in the Mass 30-34 expert division, while Ben finished 4th in the tough endurance class. Both were members of the “magical fruit" 24hr of seven springs team, which took 3rd place, 2nd for mass teams . Both have come through the proud Bean’s program and have helped that team become a force in the Mid Atlantic.

And well now, they come to ride for the Spot-Brand Twin Six team, whose goal has been to do as many fun races as we can, to ride as hard as we can, and push each other as far as we can, all the while enjoying the finest ales we can, wearing as much pink as we can stomach, and standing up for truth, fun racing and the rights of single speeders everywhere. Yeah, I’m not sure why they hell they want to be on the team either, but guys this cool, this fast, how could we deny them?

I am very pleased to have them as new teammates. Welcome to the family fellas.

Respect
Fm

chapter 9: you can't rollerskate with a herd of buffalo

Thirty five years, and nine months ago my parents had a night of passion, and got busy. Nine months later, I was born. My mother wanting to be different decided to name me Marc with a “C”. I have often wondered how things would have gone if my mother had named me Mark with a “K”. Would I be well adjusted? Would I have a drive to fit in? Would I be happy with a normal life, drinking beer, enjoying football, and yard work?
But she didn’t, and instead we end up with this:














Okay, I have to say all things considered, I’m really happy with how my life has turned out. I have a great family, awesome friends, a great job, cool bikes, nice dogs, and an amazing wife. So for someone often described as skater-fag, dirty hippie, fat fuck jackass or freak of the week life’s been good to me.











Today for my birthday Diane (chunky monkey) got me some really cool stuff.

First gift: sweet ass sunglasses. Guess she was tired of me wearing my $5 Gucci knock offs.















Next gift: a sweet pair of Chukka boots by quicksilver. Diane knows how much I used to love my old vans chukka boots, so to replace with these is a dream come true.














Finally she got me a sweet cycling bag, as for years I have needed one, but have always used courier bags, or pillow cases, or a series of smaller bags, but for cross you need a big bag, And I finally got one. So sweet.














The boys of the midatlantic got together today, and handed me down some serious ass whooping, as my race didn’t go as well as I had planned today. The course was very technical and should have suited my strengths, instead I rode tentatively, technically poorly, and tactically blind. First lap, 2nd corner I laid it down. I was instantly off the group, and couldn’t seem to close the gap to them. In the barriers I never could attack, and even totally botched a re-mount about mid race. I’ve been racing cross for a while; I have never done that before this year. Finally, I had some rat fuck sucking on my wheel the entire race. He did no work, just sat on my wheel. I kept telling myself he was breathing way harder than me, and that I’d drop him when it counted, but with one to go, he finally went around me, I didn’t, I couldn’t respond. I’d burned all my matches trying to get up to the group, dragging his rat fuck ass around.

Cheers to rat fuck for racing smart, shame on me for been so thick and not turning around and making him work, I freaking know better. Rat fuck don’t take the knick name personally, you’re probably a hell of a nice guy, but at the time of writing this rat fuck seems to be the most fitting knick name I can come up with.

Worst of all, I drug rat fuck up to Nystrom, who he jumped at the finish. I said last week, that if I based my entire worth on my racing results, I’d be sorely disappointed, so I admit, I was pleasantly surprised to see at the end of the day I finished in the top 10, as I thought for sure I was fighting for a mid teens finish. I can take getting beat, I’m okay with that, what I hate is beating myself, not taking advantage of my strengths, and in short, shooting myself in the foot. That’s a bitter pill to swallow.

After a moment to reflect, I am incredibly lucky that I spent my birthday doing something I love to do, race cross, with people I love to race with, the Delaware Cyclocross Coalition of Delaware, and all my friends in the racing scene. There is always room for improvement, and lots more races for me to embarrass myself. I folks, have a ton of work to do.




Going to get a beer, and hit the sack, 9:00 am ride time is not going to come soon enough.

respect
fm