Dear Reader,
My name is fatmarc vanderbacon. I have written a trilogy of books about vampires who don't want to hurt humans, but rather date them. These 100+ year old vampires find 17 years old intellectually stimulating and lock in on them. It's totally not creepy. I also know we live in a world of grays, but cheating is cheating. I don't care if everyone else was doing it too. It seems like this time of year I have to say that more than normal. Do you cheat at your job?
Out on a bike ride with Dennisbike, Buddy the leg breaker, Travis, and CONsorto. CONsorto did the Brownstown race on Saturday.
Fat-Me : "How did the race go?"
CONsorto: "It was fun, but my belly went south at the end."
Fat-Me: "Drink too much at L-web's?"
CONsorto: "no, not at all"
Buddy the Kegbreaker: "Oh, so you didn't drink enough.."
CONsorto: "no, wait.. I..."
a rare speechless CONsorto moment...
It was a good ride Sunday. Humid enough that I think I needed an oxygen tank but fun. I suffered a lot, and spent the bulk of the ride starring at Dennis's rear wheel. I might owe him rent for using his rear wheel... I also admired the touch of gray developing in Travis's beard. Looks good...
thanks for reading.
respect
vanderbacon
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Potter The Iron Stomach
Dear Reader,
My name is Fatmarc Vanderbacon. I once played "Ramble On" with Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones at Wembley Stadium. I also tend to eat a lot of yogurt.
Diane and I have an awesome two and a half year old Lab. Potter.
Needless to say, we were spoiled as very quickly Potter was trained, and frankly never got into anything. He was a saint. We credited our superior dog training skills and the fact that our other Lab Layla (11years) is much more mellow and a calming influence on him.
After only a year, we felt comfortable and safe leaving Potter out of his crate when we were gone. For over a year we had no issues. Then a couple of months ago it all started up.
Strike One:
We stepped out for 2 hours and Potter snagged a bottle of SLICK LUBE off the counter and decided to eat the bottle and the contents. We had a few moments of panic, called Kurtee (one of the owners of Slick Lube) and confirmed that there was nothing in the lube that would hurt him.
Potter was unphased, but got some crate time. We joked that might be a little runny; but alas he was unphased. Thank goodness for his iron gut.
Strike Two:
Then in a fury of hell fire and damnation he attacked the recycle bin shredding 4 empty bottles of gatorade, and then taking a ful1/2 gallon of water and shredding it in our bed. Spilling the water all over the bed.
Potter was no longer allowed unsupervised free time.
Strike Three:
After a month of consistent crate time, and frankly little sections of time where we left him out unsupervised, Potter was seemingly back on track...We gave him another chance. We left him out and went to work.
When we came home we found that Potter had taken a tube of chamois creme, and destroyed it, eating the chamois creme like the insides of an eclair. After couple of quick emails to the kind folks a Zevlin confirmed there was nothing harmful in it and of course Potter's iron stomach held up again, but as my mother once told me "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" well... fool me three times and there's a little more crate time in your future buddy.
good news is that Potter likes the crate, and I also think that he'll grow out of this. That and we have been keeping everything pushed back on the counters...
The Zevlin folks, as the SlickLube Folks were awesome getting back to us REALLY quickly, and following up with the health of our dear Potter.
ah, potter the destroyer...
yeah labs!
thanks for reading.
respect
fatmarc
My name is Fatmarc Vanderbacon. I once played "Ramble On" with Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones at Wembley Stadium. I also tend to eat a lot of yogurt.
Diane and I have an awesome two and a half year old Lab. Potter.
Needless to say, we were spoiled as very quickly Potter was trained, and frankly never got into anything. He was a saint. We credited our superior dog training skills and the fact that our other Lab Layla (11years) is much more mellow and a calming influence on him.
 |
| Layla Showing Potter the way... |
After only a year, we felt comfortable and safe leaving Potter out of his crate when we were gone. For over a year we had no issues. Then a couple of months ago it all started up.
Strike One:
We stepped out for 2 hours and Potter snagged a bottle of SLICK LUBE off the counter and decided to eat the bottle and the contents. We had a few moments of panic, called Kurtee (one of the owners of Slick Lube) and confirmed that there was nothing in the lube that would hurt him.
Potter was unphased, but got some crate time. We joked that might be a little runny; but alas he was unphased. Thank goodness for his iron gut.
Strike Two:
Then in a fury of hell fire and damnation he attacked the recycle bin shredding 4 empty bottles of gatorade, and then taking a ful1/2 gallon of water and shredding it in our bed. Spilling the water all over the bed.
Potter was no longer allowed unsupervised free time.
 |
| this was a tube of blistex that was destroyed in his rampage... |
After a month of consistent crate time, and frankly little sections of time where we left him out unsupervised, Potter was seemingly back on track...We gave him another chance. We left him out and went to work.
When we came home we found that Potter had taken a tube of chamois creme, and destroyed it, eating the chamois creme like the insides of an eclair. After couple of quick emails to the kind folks a Zevlin confirmed there was nothing harmful in it and of course Potter's iron stomach held up again, but as my mother once told me "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" well... fool me three times and there's a little more crate time in your future buddy.
good news is that Potter likes the crate, and I also think that he'll grow out of this. That and we have been keeping everything pushed back on the counters...
The Zevlin folks, as the SlickLube Folks were awesome getting back to us REALLY quickly, and following up with the health of our dear Potter.
ah, potter the destroyer...
yeah labs!
thanks for reading.
respect
fatmarc
Monday, June 24, 2013
Sex in the Shower
Dear Reader,
My name is Fatmarc Vanderbacon. I am Batman. And I've got love in my eyes and flowers in my hair.
Recently I have had the outstanding opportunity to demo my lust bike the Specialized Epic. Let me say that this bike is incredible. The model I had weighed the same as my current hard-tail. I got to do four different rides on this bike and I have come away thinking how amazing this bike is. It climbs well, takes off when you stand on it, and frankly takes the roughest sections of trail around here, and smooths them right out.
I was right to have this as my lust bike. That said, at the end of the day, it's not the right bike for me. My lust bike ended up being like sex in the shower.
"Sex in the Shower!?" you say, "That sounds awesome."
Exactly.
That's my point. Sex in the shower does sound awesome, and don't get me wrong I'm not turning it down, but in reality, the execution of sex in shower is never as awesome as the idea. "I'm too tall" "you're too short!" " put your leg up on the ledge" "don't lean on the curtain" "be careful, don't slip " "I'm losing my balance" "hey, you're stealing all the water" "the soap dish isn't a handle"
If you've had sex in the shower, you probably know exactly what I mean.
Yeah, the idea of the Epic is amazing. I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to ride it last week, but my diet of fast, rooty, tight single track just isn't the proper application (for me). My mountain bikes are generally fat tired cross bikes, with as little suspension as I can get away with. Frankly, if I lived in Michaux or an area with more rocks- This would be my machine. I do think the bike could make me faster, but I miss the trail feed back in sections like 5 bridges or crack head bob. Based on my local diet of trails, it would be like using a chainsaw to trim the hedges.
For me, this isn't going to work for an everyday mountain bike. Much like sex in the shower, I will continue love the idea of it, and appreciate it, but for me the reality is that the idea is better than the application. (like I said for me for me anyway).
That said, you know if I ever hit the lottery, I'll have one of these in my stable for sure,because it is really fun to ride. You know just as sure as the fact that if when offered I would never pass on sex in the shower either...
thanks for reading.
respect
vanderbacon
My name is Fatmarc Vanderbacon. I am Batman. And I've got love in my eyes and flowers in my hair.
Recently I have had the outstanding opportunity to demo my lust bike the Specialized Epic. Let me say that this bike is incredible. The model I had weighed the same as my current hard-tail. I got to do four different rides on this bike and I have come away thinking how amazing this bike is. It climbs well, takes off when you stand on it, and frankly takes the roughest sections of trail around here, and smooths them right out.
I was right to have this as my lust bike. That said, at the end of the day, it's not the right bike for me. My lust bike ended up being like sex in the shower.
"Sex in the Shower!?" you say, "That sounds awesome."
Exactly.
That's my point. Sex in the shower does sound awesome, and don't get me wrong I'm not turning it down, but in reality, the execution of sex in shower is never as awesome as the idea. "I'm too tall" "you're too short!" " put your leg up on the ledge" "don't lean on the curtain" "be careful, don't slip " "I'm losing my balance" "hey, you're stealing all the water" "the soap dish isn't a handle"
If you've had sex in the shower, you probably know exactly what I mean.
Yeah, the idea of the Epic is amazing. I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to ride it last week, but my diet of fast, rooty, tight single track just isn't the proper application (for me). My mountain bikes are generally fat tired cross bikes, with as little suspension as I can get away with. Frankly, if I lived in Michaux or an area with more rocks- This would be my machine. I do think the bike could make me faster, but I miss the trail feed back in sections like 5 bridges or crack head bob. Based on my local diet of trails, it would be like using a chainsaw to trim the hedges.
For me, this isn't going to work for an everyday mountain bike. Much like sex in the shower, I will continue love the idea of it, and appreciate it, but for me the reality is that the idea is better than the application. (like I said for me for me anyway).
That said, you know if I ever hit the lottery, I'll have one of these in my stable for sure,because it is really fun to ride. You know just as sure as the fact that if when offered I would never pass on sex in the shower either...
thanks for reading.
respect
vanderbacon
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Relay For Life
Dear Reader,
My name is Fatmarc Vanderbacon. I come from a family of wrestlers. Secretly, I always wished someone would have nicked named us "the four horsemen" instead of "rat bastard Vanderbacons"
My employer sponsors has sponsored a Relay For Life team the past three years. We try to make sure we try have someone on the the track for the full 24hrs. The event itself has bounced around venues the past couple of years, and seems to have lost some steam. That said, I still honored to be a part of it. I choose to walk in the middle of the night. The luminaries are beautiful. As I walk I read the names on the bags. Perspective. At one o'clock in the morning, there are very few folks on the track, and it's a wonderful time to just walk and think. I am fortunate to have this opportunity. It's weight and meaning is not missed on me.
thanks for reading.
respect
vanderbacon
My name is Fatmarc Vanderbacon. I come from a family of wrestlers. Secretly, I always wished someone would have nicked named us "the four horsemen" instead of "rat bastard Vanderbacons"
My employer sponsors has sponsored a Relay For Life team the past three years. We try to make sure we try have someone on the the track for the full 24hrs. The event itself has bounced around venues the past couple of years, and seems to have lost some steam. That said, I still honored to be a part of it. I choose to walk in the middle of the night. The luminaries are beautiful. As I walk I read the names on the bags. Perspective. At one o'clock in the morning, there are very few folks on the track, and it's a wonderful time to just walk and think. I am fortunate to have this opportunity. It's weight and meaning is not missed on me.
thanks for reading.
respect
vanderbacon
Monday, June 17, 2013
Dare to be Great...
My dad always told us to do our best. No matter what we did commit 100%. He is an amazing father, I count myself very lucky to be his son. My brothers have also been amazing fathers.
My brother Bryan seizes a dare to be great moment with his daughter yesterday....
front yard surfing, just like when we were kids...
respect
fatmarc
My brother Bryan seizes a dare to be great moment with his daughter yesterday....
front yard surfing, just like when we were kids...
respect
fatmarc
Monday, June 10, 2013
Granogue...
Dear Readers,
Thanks to all the volunteers, the racers, and everyone who came out to make the 12hrs of Granogue so wonderful. This race is a fund raiser for the Hera Women's Cancer Foundation. It is also a race in memory of our dear friend Andrew Mein. Andrew was hit by a car and killed while commuting home from his job at Wooden Wheels in 1998.
Andrew was the guy that really brought me into the sport and taught me how to be a cyclist, how to be a racer, how to be a teammate. My time with him changed my life. I was lucky to have him as a friend. Most importantly Andrew taught me to always be an ambassador for the sport. As Andrew taught me, I hope that over the years I have been an ambassador, and been able to bring folks into the sport. This race is in Andrew's honor, and frankly in his image. Challenging racing, competitive racing, but fun in spirit and people taking care of each other. I like to think at the podium presentation Andrew is smiling on all of us...
here are a few things that frame my weekend:
At the rider's meeting, I talked about Andrew. I talked our promotion team. I talked about slippery bridges. I asked if anyone had any questions? Someone asked who did my hair? and my sideburns.
Dude, I was at the venue since noon Friday, in the rain! I slept in the back of my fit. Can't I get a little love here?
Every time, I make a list of people who help, I miss someone, and I promised myself I wouldn't do that again. So thanks to everyone. But I need to say something about Lauri Webber.
If you have raced a mtb in Delaware, or ridden the recently trimmed trails at middle run, or raced a MAC cross race, or maybe one of the trail runs here in the trail creek series- you should thank her. I am not exaggerating when I say, that bike racing in our racing world would not be what it is today without Lauri. While her efforts are often behind the scenes, make no mistake she is the backbone the frame work that makes it happen. I am proud to be on her team. I am often the face of our team. The big mouth, but the truth is my efforts are nothing compared to the work she does. This weekend would not have been possible with out her tireless efforts. She will be pissed that I wrote this, but I can live with that. If you get a chance, go to face book and thank her.
Dan McDermott headed out for his last lap with just 45 minutes to make it back in time for his lap to count. It would have been easy to call it a night. It was going to be close. Dan threw caution to the wind and charged out to rack up one more lap. Dan was throwing down a hot lap, it was going to happen. With just 10 minutes to go, and a 6 minute section, Dan flatted just before the tunnel of love. Reports were of a loud explosion, and then just the metal of Dan's front rim across the rocks in the tunnel. Dan rolled in a few minutes after the cut off and rolled straight to his camp site. It was heart breaking. Dan took a chance, and threw it all out there. I was honored to watch it unfold. Later at the awards ceremony, Dan got some love for his efforts. Maybe it was me, but frankly, I think Dan got perhaps the loudest salute from the crowd. Go big or go home. Dan was amazing. Well done sir...
Fort James and his teammate Mark Weaver battled all day long in the duo men's class. Weaver threw down all day on his single speed, and as it came to the end of the night, cramps had ended his day. James went out and threw down a hot lap, and Mark couldn't get back out. James never paused has he raced through the start finish, commenting to Mark, "get me a fresh bottle and a gu on the koppenberg!" James finished about an hour later, hands raised in victory as he and Mark sealed the deal. So damn clutch...
Vinny. Vinny you say? Vinny is Benny the Jeweler's nephew. He took over a water stop during the race and owned it. It was never planned as a manned stop. Vinny ran after riders making sure they took water. Vinny also decided to run the 10k out of no where, and had such a great time. He's been getting love on facebook, and two people have sent us notes saying, " I don't usually take water from stops, but the kid was working so hard to get it to me, how could I not." Vinny was awesome, and worked his ass off all weekend... He had fun, and he was critcal to the event at the end of the day.
And then there is this guy. Was there anything more inspiring than this this weekend ?
I could continue to go on all day with stories from the weekend. It was amazing. Thank you all that came out, and those who didn't make it, I hope to see you next year... I hope that those of you who came out of the weekend have a few stories and memories of your own...
thanks for reading.
respect
fatmarc
photos from Dennisbike.com on facebook (shamelessly I might add)
Thanks to all the volunteers, the racers, and everyone who came out to make the 12hrs of Granogue so wonderful. This race is a fund raiser for the Hera Women's Cancer Foundation. It is also a race in memory of our dear friend Andrew Mein. Andrew was hit by a car and killed while commuting home from his job at Wooden Wheels in 1998.
 |
| ASM on the Shirts is for Andrew St. John Mein |
 |
| yeah, hot sauce for hot laps. Andrew would approve. |
At the rider's meeting, I talked about Andrew. I talked our promotion team. I talked about slippery bridges. I asked if anyone had any questions? Someone asked who did my hair? and my sideburns.
 |
| I had a hat on! |
Every time, I make a list of people who help, I miss someone, and I promised myself I wouldn't do that again. So thanks to everyone. But I need to say something about Lauri Webber.
If you have raced a mtb in Delaware, or ridden the recently trimmed trails at middle run, or raced a MAC cross race, or maybe one of the trail runs here in the trail creek series- you should thank her. I am not exaggerating when I say, that bike racing in our racing world would not be what it is today without Lauri. While her efforts are often behind the scenes, make no mistake she is the backbone the frame work that makes it happen. I am proud to be on her team. I am often the face of our team. The big mouth, but the truth is my efforts are nothing compared to the work she does. This weekend would not have been possible with out her tireless efforts. She will be pissed that I wrote this, but I can live with that. If you get a chance, go to face book and thank her.
 |
| yeah, she's signing checks, making sure everything happens as it should. |
 |
| chaos all around her, and she orders lunch for volunteers... |
 |
| Dan was outstanding. |
 |
| See I told you. |
 |
| Vinny on the right! |
 |
| inspiring... |
 |
| yup, still inspiring... amazing... |
 |
| buddy locked his keys in his car. Diane has AAA. Buddy wasn't losing Diane. |
thanks for reading.
respect
fatmarc
photos from Dennisbike.com on facebook (shamelessly I might add)
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Quick thoughts before Granogue
Dear Readers,
1. A kind woman in my group at school was talking about the games that her daughter plays, and some of the silly games her daughter plays on her I-pad. I commented that my wife has been playing this silly cartoonish game called "dumb ways to die", and that it had a catchy song that I couldn't get out of my head.
She looked at me horrified. "I have to make sure that she's not playing that game. it sounds horrible." Before I could say anything else class started. Shit, she thinks I'm some kind of faces of death guy. No really I'm not. Horrible. okay maybe I am... ugh...
2. I was in NYC for business yesterday. My meeting got out early, and I got an earlier train home. I ended up in first class. Everyone is nice in first class. The train folks helped me find a seat, they were kind, the passengers were nice and friendly. Everyone smiled. Seriously, everyone is nice. First Class. Who knew?
3. Granogue is this weekend. Course is dialed, we should get a little rain friday, but Saturday will be awesome. It's going to be a great weekend... Hope to see you.
thanks for reading
respect
fatmarc
1. A kind woman in my group at school was talking about the games that her daughter plays, and some of the silly games her daughter plays on her I-pad. I commented that my wife has been playing this silly cartoonish game called "dumb ways to die", and that it had a catchy song that I couldn't get out of my head.
She looked at me horrified. "I have to make sure that she's not playing that game. it sounds horrible." Before I could say anything else class started. Shit, she thinks I'm some kind of faces of death guy. No really I'm not. Horrible. okay maybe I am... ugh...
2. I was in NYC for business yesterday. My meeting got out early, and I got an earlier train home. I ended up in first class. Everyone is nice in first class. The train folks helped me find a seat, they were kind, the passengers were nice and friendly. Everyone smiled. Seriously, everyone is nice. First Class. Who knew?
3. Granogue is this weekend. Course is dialed, we should get a little rain friday, but Saturday will be awesome. It's going to be a great weekend... Hope to see you.
thanks for reading
respect
fatmarc
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Best Day On The Bike 2013
Philly Pro Race. Chasing Anne Rock around Philly, seeing things that being the country mouse I am I would never have a chance to see anywhere else. Thanks to Dave and his kind family for allowing us to crash on their front lawn and scream our heads off at our friends, and all the racers up the Mayunk wall. Thanks to Eric and Maureen for allowing us to stop in to the BBQ on the drives, and all our friend over on Lemon hill too. Thanks to Gurski for providing insight and commentary that as I mid pack masters racer fan boy, I was eating up. Thanks to Nick and Jen for meeting up with us and being great riding companions, thanks to Monkey for making sure I didn't stay home and study today. Thanks to all the Philly Cops for all the high fives! Best day on the bike all year....
Pictures and video to follow: (SO EXHAUSTED AND SO STOKED)...
respect
fatmarc
Pictures and video to follow: (SO EXHAUSTED AND SO STOKED)...
 |
| Ran into Cass at the coffee shop, always great to see her- she's was one of the biggest influences on my cycling... |
 |
| Monk's new cross bike, her first trip on this one... |
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| the wall... |
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| working our way down the wall past the FUJI tent... |
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| Great to see Tony and Victoria! |
 |
| women's race- crushing souls |
 |
| That's my Monkey! |
 |
| view from Dave and Liza's front yard! |
 |
| men at the start... |
 |
| staying hydrated is important on hot days! I love apple juice! |
 |
| more monkey! |
 |
| Lemon Hill... |
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| Benny the Jewlar! |
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| Jed and I compare our plaid shirts... |
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| GURSKI!! |
 |
| Yeah That GURSKI! |
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| I'm not a dead fan, but yeah that's pigpen... |
 |
| Lucky to Travel with this Awesome Group Today. |
best course Marshal EVER:
Thanks for reading...
respect
fatmarc
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