Dear Readers,
My name is Fatmarc Vanderbacon. I have just been popped. The elastic has snapped.
Have you ever found yourself racing in a group during a cross race and you're struggling to keep in contact? On the wide open spots the guy at the front drills it, and you find yourself in your drops starring at the wheel in front of you, just hanging on. As the power section ends, you are gapped just so ever slightly off the group, but still perilously close to the group. In the tricky bits, you can get back on, but there's not enough there to move up in the group, not enough to really improve your position, you're hanging on. The group heads back to the next power section and again stretches out single file.
You're at the tail end of the accordion, and the extra energy needed to sprint out of each corner to get back in the group starts to take it's toll. Another tricky section, and you're back on, and as the course opens up, the kid on the front drills it, and you can no longer hold that wheel. The gap is too big.
You've just been popped.
That my friends is what has happened to my life in the past two weeks. I will admit my group includes my awesome wife, school, work and cross. The intensity in all areas has been up for a while now. The addition of Logan may have been a silly, but incredibly cool mistake. But here's the real deal:
I have three classes left in Grad school. I expect to be finished on March 8, 2014. When I started school, I had real fears of what I could and couldn't do. I was a horrible undergrad student. So, here I find myself with 3 classes, roughly 3 months of school left, and it has been a wonderful experience. I have worked very hard, learned a ton, and it's helped me grow in my profession, and in my confidence. I very proud of my efforts here.
Right now, I have a 4.0 GPA. This would have been inconceivable to me when I started this adventure. But there it is. I will own, that while there never was a goal to finish with a 4.0, at this point in the game, it has become one. I'm working hard, not sleeping a ton, and frankly, I want to graduate with a 4.0. There I said. I want it. It's a real goal.
Now look, I have perspective on this. If it doesn't happen, it's not the end of the world. The experience has been one of the best of my life. That said, I also don't want to half ass this, and let that slip away.
The past couple of weeks have been very hard. All area's of my life were demanding lots of energy and frankly, sitting down with Diane and talking about what was going on was really helpful. Something had to give. Cross is over for me this year. I'm a little bummed, because frankly I think I've been getting stronger as the season has developed, but I also recognize that when I went through a mental check list of my priorities, at this point I just don't have the mental energy to finish up the season. There aren't that many matches left in the book.
As Diane reminded me, "look man, you didn't think you'd be racing at all, you did 20 races last year, and 9 this year... That's pretty good..." She's right. And so, and so I'm closing the books on my 2013 race season, dreaming of my 2014 cross season, and I'm gonna do my damndest to make that 4.0 happen.
thanks for reading.
respect
vanderbacon
