we are all criminals...

The past few Thursdays I have ridden with a great group of guys and gals from the bike line team and some of the del trail spinners. The group is more diverse in rider ability than the usual rides I haunt. This is a strength of the ride for me, and fits perfectly with my Thursday night. The ride is very friendly, very fun. Fred is funny as shit. The group moves along at a great clip, and despite my efforts to sit in more, I still think I end up riding way too fast, but that is all part of riding in groups.

Like probably 90% of the mountain bike population winter time means night riding. Yeah we all know technically, it’s not legal, because all parks close at dusk. We also accept that we know the areas that are patrolled, and we stay out of them. For the most part, we figure who the hell is gonna care is about a gang of middle aged folk, dressed in lycra, with mag lights duct taped to their helmets, riding through parkland after dark.

Hmmm. Well, I guess County Park Game Warden Erica Oligher minds. And last night after almost 2 hours of single track bliss, and hanging on for dear life as Johnny, Eric, Jaimie lead the group through a wonderful loop, she cruised up to tell us how much she minded. As we gathered for a quick regroup, we all watched in horror as we saw an SUV cruising up the gravel road towards us. We joked that it was some kids parking, then we saw the blue and red flashing in the night.

The cheerful and jovial group got real quite, real fast. Having picked up a ticked for night riding 3-4 years ago. I was not happy at the thought of having to pay a $250 ticket for tonight’s tryst in the woods. Emerson says that if you disagree with a law, and you choose to ignore it you have to be willing to face the consequences, and protest loudly. Failure to do this is cowardice. Frankly, $250 was making me feel pretty yellow. But at the last second, I bowed my head, and prepared myself for my punishment. Ole Ralph Waldo would have been proud. Luckily for my wallet, County Game Warden Erica Oligher saw the sheer size of our group and figured she’d better save her ticket writing hand, and directed us out of the woods and back to our cars. As we rolled out, we passed another game warden pulling a huge trailer. My guess was to confiscate bikes? What was their plan, take all our bikes and leave us to walk out of the woods?

In the end we all recognize that night riding is well, illegal. Further we recognize that County Game Warden Erica Oligher was very cool letting us off the hook. And while we all felt a weird punch in the gut after being busted, because most of us have been night riding here for close to 10 years. We also rejoiced in the fact that our ride was almost over anyway, and Day Light Savings time starts this Weekend! So Next week at the same time, If we see County Game Warden Erica Oligher, We’ll all smile, wave and continue on our way unabated. VIVA LA REVOLOUTION !

respect
fm

zen guerrilla

with day lights savings time around the corner, last night was the final edition of the Tuesday night titans ride that required lights for the winter 2006 season. With a hearty group of friends :
Todd el presidente
Biddle (tye domi of cross)
One Night a Week Paul,
Spot Paul,
FortJames,
and yours truly, we were in for a treat. the trails in the middlerun system are bone dry and fast right now. Through the first hour of the ride, I struggled to hold the wheels of Todd and Biddle. These guys are some of the smoothest riders I have ever followed. Smooth like silk sheets.Smooth like Steve Martin in my Blue Heaven. Smooth like Harvey Keitel in every movie he's ever been in. Smooth like George Clooney. Picture water flowing down a dirt path, that gives an idea of how smooth, and how fast these dudes are. Spot Paul has been dieting pretty hard lately. He was hit with the diet induced bonk, and a technical deficiency brought on by lack of eating. SpotPaul called it the don't eat anything that you will shit soild diet. He stacked it up three times in the first hour, and decided to call it a night, I advised him to stop off for a cheeseburger on the way home. The second half of the ride, was more of the same, Todd attacking the tight stuff. On the rises I would sneak up the side of Todd feigning a pass, he'd slam the door shut, and pick up the pace again. I'm not sure I could have made the pass, but damn, it was good to try and keep him honest. yeah, it was a good ride. FortJames fought, and scrapped and held on for the entire ride. It was strong stuff for sure.Rides like this are why I can't get away from this sport. Guys with great nicknames, chasing each other around the woods, talking smack, wearing lycra, and using lighting systems coal miners would be proud to have. God Bless.

When I was a kid I used to go see this local band called zen guerrilla. I have one of their disks which was one of my all time favortite. the band was huge in Newark, and eventually moved to SanFran, I heard they are still around, but I couldn't find anything about them on Al Gore's internet.

But i digress, their disk is one 40 minute track, 8 songs back to back that wirls, and screams and wanders through your mind. This morning whilst cruising the trails of white clay creek before work, zen guerrilla enhanced my riding experince. I was very pleased. Thank you zen guerrilla, thank you for the many fine memories of cramming into bachus theater or the kyber pass to see you play, and for the fantastic ride this morning.

respect
fm

22:20

you know, I hate running. The professor had me running 2 days a week during cross. Although I never grew to enjoy it, or find it fun, I appreciate it. I see distance runners as the greatest sufferers in the world. I get fired up watching them pile on mile after mile. I wish I could suffer like that. They are tougher than I am. They suffer at levels I can’t comprehend... Anyone who will run until they pass out, or shit themselves, and keep going, is tougher than I am. Somehow in my mind I have convinced myself that if I can learn to suffer like a runner it will better my cycling. Still it’s not enjoyment, it takes me back to cutting weight for wrestling. It is a job that must be done.

Today my race season started. And while, it wasn’t bike race, it did start for me. The Wilmington Christin 5K for breast cancer or something. In recent weeks I have been running well. My goal for the day was a 21:00. The course was a rolling out and back. Admittedly I started too strong, ran the best mile of life 6:20, much of this down hill. Second mile stayed on course for my goal, finishing up in a 13:48. The final mile, which was basically the first mile backwards, had 3 little roller hills. I plowed through but justCouldn’t get it done. Final time 22:20.

Damn. So I ran hard, feel a little bummed about my time. I crossed the line and the scorer asked, “you okay?” I stole a line from Todd,” the words coming out of my mouth say yes, but the puking coming out says no…” I’m no runner, and I can’t see myself changing my entire plan to make my running goal, but I will swing again. Shit I even wore my revenge of the sith T-shirt hoping to get some help from the force. The power of those hills was too great for me…

Final Numbers:
Mile 1: 6:20
Mile 2: 7:28
Mile 3: 8:32 (WTF!!??)
31st overall
4th 35-39

I am so disappointed because my training miles have been faster than that. I also know my best times have been when I have been more conservative on the first mile. Blah. I hate sucking. On the way home I saw Elk and Les, Elk told me about a flat 5k in philly next month. I think I’m gonna run that one… As for me tomorrow back to the single speed, 2 weeks until my first bike race. I am greatly looking forward to that. I start to add some intensity on the bike to my diet next week.

Saw 3 good movies this week:

Detroit rock city- no comments needed, you must see this movie or your life will be incomplete. Teenage coming of age story, drugs, bullys, KISS, and religion. It’s awesome.
Wimbledon- tennis is kinda weak, but this is a good flick, I was surprisingly lured in. I dug how they showed what a journeyman’s mind thinks as he moves forward on a roll. I keep hoping for my own roll at some point. Really like this movie. Kirsten Dunst doesn’t hurt either…
A history of violence- so good. Very tight, fighting scenes are phenomenal, good
Story. Must see. Bad ass, “you have to ask yourself how come your husband is so good a killing people?” that and I always love to see a bully get his.

Respect
Fm

to the fatcave...

When I was just a young fatmarc, that's when I realized that I liked girls. Yeah I liked them a lot. The first woman that I saw that I remember making me feel a little funny inside was Batgirl. I was totally into that campy Batman TV show, as a kid I never realized it was a big ole joke. Now I can barely watch it. But damn, when I was a kid, I totally loved batgirl.

A couple of years later, I can remember staying up until midnight for the Dick Clark's rock and roll new years special. That was my first midnight, my first new years really. They had this band on that night: Blondie. Their lead singer was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. The played heart of glass. Totally rocked my world. I bought one of their albums at K-mart a week later. I think I was in fourth grade.

Last night I watched the rock and roll hall of fame inductions, and of course Blondie was inducted. Now, Debbie Harry is certainly older, and shows the effects of living a rock and roll lifestyle, but damn she can still sing, and damn can she still move. Sitting there, I remembered that new years eve in 1980. I got to see her live with the Ramones in I think it was 89. That is still one of my favorite shows ever. Tough and sexy. Damn I think I married Blondie...

This is a rest week for me, just finished up base. This week I can't stop eating, just when I got my weight close to fighting weight, my appetite fights back out of control. Didn't ride yesterday, or today, just rested and did laundry. I haven't had 2 days off the bike since I started. Had to be done. Looking forward to hitting the trails tomorrow. Oh, and my newphew is starting to use the toilet consistently. He's pretty stoked, so if you see Connor, give him a big high five. (don't worry he washed his hands too!) Oh yeah, saw that E.Roman, Travis Brown, Jesse L, and Bike Kill, are gonna be a 4 man team for the 24hr national championships. That might be one of the best single speed teams ever put together. Damn, I couldn't even shit in the same porto let as those guys.

mad respect
m

this is the ass that got me thrown out of the bar...

Well not really but sort of... let me explain Friday night St. Patrick's day, my favorite holiday, and the holiest of all holy days. Well, Diane, my brother Bryan, and his wife Tab, and I hit Kate's for some pops and some tasty nachos. Hmmm, they were tasty nachos. But I digress. There was this chick running around in these jeans, she was drinking, and dancing, and this Kate's, which is something like an unchain version of Bennigans, but whatever, her ass was totally hanging out of her jeans. We thought it was funny. She obviously was playing up for the crowd. She was drinking, we were drinking everyone was having a good time.

So I was joking that her ass should be on my blog. Tab whips out the camera and takes a
Picture of it. We all laugh. Pretty innocent right?

Well the FFF, you know the fuckin' fat friend that is always a sidekick, or hanger of other girls, anyway, the FFF (fuckin' fat friend) had obviously been drinking more than us, and was equally showing it all over the tavern/restaurant saw Tab take the picture and comes over and starts bitchin' up a storm. "what's wrong with you people, taking a picture of her ass?" I tried to play it off, and said "hey, we're taking a picture of this glass of water, we artists..." Okay, lame, I admit it, but that's what I said. She grabs the camera and says, "well why isn't it facing the glass of water then?" she continues her rant, "what are you a bunch of perverts?" Bryan and I look at each other and laugh, "yeah we are perverts." But now, Diane is pissed, and after a few pops she's ready to throw down, she replies, "the problem is that your friend over there, she needs to get a pair of pants that covers up her ass. If she doesn't want people looking at her crack, than cover it the hell up." Tab continued with the, "I was taking a picture to show my daughter how she can't leave the house." We all laughed and the FFF (fuckin' fat friend) stormed off in a huff.

yeah, we are punk ass bitches...

We finished up our meal, paid the bill, and even looked at a dessert menu, although we ordered nothing. FFF (fat fuckin' friend) and ass girl continue to hover around the bouncers, and ass girl just does her thing drinking and looking as if she's trying out for girls gone wild. So we get up to leave and I figure this is done.

We were juvenile, and asses, and goofed on them, she came over and said her peace, and it is what it is. Story over.

Well as we start to walk out FFF (fat fuckin' friend) runs up to us and says something like did you get enough pictures? Do you want anymore? Then I got pissed. Yeah, we started it, we were punks, but this was a done deal. But she has to keep pushing it.

Dennis Smith Captures Buddy's intensity in this picture. It's one of my favorites.

I got a little angry.

I put my arm around her, I looked into her eyes and I said in a kind, and soft voice, "It must be very hard for you to be the ugly sidekick. I mean, she didn't care, and her you are all upset. It must be so tough to be the ugly sidekick."

I turned and I walked away quietly. She didn't say anything at first, and then came back yelling across the restaurant with this gem, "hey, Wait, you can't say that to me, do you know who I am, I WORK HERE, it must be hard for you to be 5ft2, It must be hard for you..." Silence she couldn't come up with anything, that was all the game she had. Friggin' a-hole.

Look I was mean, and I'm usually not mean, but damn it was a joke, and obviously she had a hard on to show the world her crack, we took a picture of it. FFF just didn't get it. She was on an ego trip, well honey if your life goal, and the sole boost to your sidekick ego is to be a waitress at Kate's, god bless you. This on the holiest of all holy days. Blasphemy I say. Blasphemy.

Keith dives into the v. I just like this picture and never used it...

Willowdale.
This is one of the fastest road rides in this area. I have always heard of it, but never done the ride. Today Slick Rick, Wes the Conqueror, and I headed up from Ricks and met the ride. I think road race season started today, which seems incredibly early for me to be racing, but I am a single speeder and a crosser. Digression again, my bad, so the group was much smaller than I had heardl. I also think a lot of the local tough guys were absent. I think this because the format of the ride, is that the bulk of it is pretty mellow, then after a certain point all hell breaks loose and they race for the finish. Basically, I was able to hang on to the front or near the front when all hell breaks loose. I full expected to be off like a prom dress today. I got gapped on the long climb, I went to the front too soon and hurt myself.

The group was fun, and this was clearly the fastest I have ridden so far this year. Finishing up my base this weekend, it was an eye opener for sure, but it was also fun, and that was good.

Slick Rick models the 2007 secret henry's team kit

In other scary and weird news, coming off the last climb and turning back on to I think it was 926, Slick Rick got hit by a SUV. It went down like this: car starts turning left, Slick Rick cheats up the right side of them a bit, and the driver, looking left, switches back right without ever looking to what was there. And well, she hit him. Luckily, Slick Rick used his Japanese Ninja skills, jumped into the air, did a complete flip, landed on the ground, turned around and punched through the hood of the blazer, cracking the engine block. Rick was totally unscathed. THANK GOD FOR THAT, WE WERE SUPER LUCKY. The driver stopped was totally apologetic and nice, Slick was fine, except that it took a lot of McGuyvering to get it his destroyed rear wheel rideable so we could get home. It's amazing what you can do with an allen set, handlebar tape, and a spoke wrench. BTW the driver didn't even mind the cracked engine block from Slick Rick's Iron fist because she was happy everyone was safe.

At the end of the ride, I was so happy to be home, and that we were all safe. I was really tired too. That whole road car thing is really scary. It makes me really want to stay in the woods as much as I can, maybe always. Aside from the whole rick getting bit by a car thing, it was a good day.

Respect
fm

who am I to blow against the wind...

My latest work. This was a tough shot to get. Had to work hard with the photographer to get just the right angle. Very difficult day...You know what they say about working with kids and animals. yup it' great... Life as a male model. tough work... I'll be in my trailer...

So I recently started reporting to a new manager. She's pretty awesome, and I'm pretty stoked about it, but I digress. So we have our first meeting of her direct reports scheduled for 1:15pm yesterday. It's 12:00, I'm gonna slip out on the bike and try to get a quick 45 minutes or so on the road. Should be no sweat to get out, get back and make my meeting. I get out on to the bike, and I'm flying. I think to myself, damn man, the winter miles are paying off. Again thinking to myself, "finally, the work I have been putting in is paying off."

This particular lunch time loop, is only a 45 minute ride, at my peak of fitness last year, I made it in 42 minutes. Basically it's an out and back that flirts it's way around rural Oxford, PA. Once I finished the out, I made the turn to come back home and made a horrible realization. Tailwind, which makes you feel fast, is a headwind when you have to pedal back into it. So from the half way back, I struggle in my lowest gear, down in the drops, slaying as low as I can, grinding my way back to the office. The road I am on has a huge shoulder, good thing too as I am blown from one side to another. I could have been pulled over for drunk riding. I know there have been times when I did ride drunk and didn't weave as much. The wind was relentless the entire time. Finally, after great struggles, I get back to the office and notice my watch :58 minutes. "are you kidding me?" I say to myself. I was totally bummed that a loop that took me 42 minutes in December, just took me basically an entire hour... dude, I suck.

Just as I walk into the building, windblown and exhausted I hear my name over the building wide intercom, "FATMARC TO THE SHOWROOM" you see, not only was my ride longer than intended, but my meeting was at 1:00 not 1:15. "great, first meeting new manager, and I'm late, more than late I'm walking through the building in my lycra super suit." I think to myself. Fantastic. Quickly I dive into the lockeroom, start throwing off my jersey and shorts, I throw my street clothes on without removing my leg warmers or my craft base layer. I sprint through the building like OJ Simpson through an airport. Finally, I make the meeting. I smile and say to my new manager, "funny thing about a tailwind, when you turn around, it's a headwind..." Luckily, she laughed. The meeting went very well, afterwards in my office I finally peeled off my leg warmes from under my pants...

respect
fm

sharp dressed man...

life as a male super model is really tough. for this shot I wore the most expensive pants I have ever worn in my life. Too bad I don't get to keep the product. Next week I have a shoot wiht the JC Penny catalog. I do get to keep the whitie tighties...

Last week of base for me. Which means some I'm gonna be putting in some good hours this week. If this follows suit like last year, then it may very well be my longest week all year. Last Saturday was good, got lots of long miles in, rode well. Still about a month away from any real fitness, but that's the plan. In addition to many hours, I also got a saddle sore the size of a finger tip on my ass. That hurt like hell. Picture a hairy Mount. St. Helen's prior to eruption and that's what you get. When I woke up Sunday, I had trouble sitting on the couch much less a bike seat. I bagged the couple of hours I had planned for the day and drowned my sorrows in jelly beans. HMMM. Jelly beans...

Respect
fm

down goes la lol tecca

You know just last week, somebody asked me what my favorite restaurant was, and very matter of a factly I responded, “La Tol Tecca” , but I have to admit, Diane , who really has never liked the place, and I just got home and our experience and it was awful. First the service sucked, not by fault of the waitresses, for the entire restaurant they only had 2 people covering all the tables on a Friday night. Okay, I’m sympathetic to an overworked waitress and tip well, but the food, well the food was sub par. And very frankly this is not the first time I had bad food here. My dinner tonight was okay, but I started to get heart burn before I could even finish it. Good burritos don’t do that to a man. Luckily I was throwing back margaritas and the tequila killed off the heart burn pretty quickly. Sad to say, I no longer have a favorite restaurant, as La Tol Tecca that used to be the Valhalla of local Mexican eateries has gone south for me. You can’t have that inconsistent delivery of quality and expect to remain my favorite place. Damn, it if I want taco bell I’ll eat off the damn 99 cent menu.

Diane and I stole an hour of sunlight today and got into the Gallagher section of fairhill. we basked in the warmth and crusied over the single track. Diane rode well, she was looking super good with her new hair due. She was a little bummed because her favorite snow valley jersey is getting a little sussed out and her new secret Henry’s team gear isn’t in just yet. But the ride was really fun, and we talked shit, and rode a trail that was once destroyed horses, but is now open and pretty rad again. It was a nice ride, and we finished off just as the sun kissed the horizon. Yeah, very cool. Aside from a bad meal, Friday evening was pretty damn rad, and although the food sucked, the margaritas were top notch for sure.

respect
fm

Too Much Science

too much science...

you know riding a bike is a pretty simple thing. There's no magic. You sit on the seat, you pedal, you move forward. It's so simple they have a saying, "it's like riding a bike..." Anyway, for the last 5 years or so, I have been a slave to my heart rate monitor. After every ride, I'd look at the numbers, average hr for the ride, max hr for the ride, how many calories I burnt. I think it even gave me my taxable income for the year.

Even worse, I had an excel spread sheet all set up, once I got home I'd diligently input my numbers for a ride it the sheet and it generate a value for the ride, to give me an indicator of how hard I worked. It averaged my weight for the week, and for a short time created launch codes for nasa. BLAHHH!!! TOO MUCH INFORMATION. FOR GOD'S SAKE I WAS A LIBERAL ARTS MAJOR !!!!

and so after feeling dirty for longer than I care to admit, I finally came to my end. No more HRM. How does this help me? When I get passed in a race, either I can chase the dude down, or I get dropped. I never looked at my HRM and pressed a button and had a turbo boost or something, I never looked at it and had is say, "dude, your taking it too easy... step it up buddy..." It always tells me what I already know, I'm suffering, and my HR is high. I have had enough. I put it in a box last night, it's gone. I did get a new watch, that tells time, and the date, and it has a stop watch, so if you need to know what time it is, or the date, or how long I rode my bike last night, I can tell you that gladly. Please just don't ask me what my average heart rate was for the work out..

the boys were all over me like this bad suit...
(is that jim carrey?)

Good group ride tonight, Me, Todd (el presidente), Blair, Biddle (ty domi of cross), and Paul G (I only ride one day a week but still kick your ass). Todd took off hard and fast. We had light longer then expected and even made a section of the judge tonight. That was cool. Todd was kickin' it so hard first he blew himself up, then he blew up his lights. Alas, he was done early, no lights.

So I got to lead. I never know what kind of pace to set, so I ride how I want to ride. Had the boys on me like a bad polyester suit. I think I made Blair breathe hard on one section. So yeah, my season was a success, I'm calling it a year. Hell, it's millertime man.

respect
fm

have I mentioned that I was a liberal arts major ?

All cyclists must own at least one peice of yellow cycling clothing. It's a rule, really it's in the handbook. If you are in violation you better rush out to your LBS now and be compliant.

So I wake up early Saturday morning. I figure I want to knock out some of my chores before the ride. One of which was change the water filter. Now usually this is a two man job. I pull it apart; Diane cleans the container, I change the filter and put it back together. Diane was sound asleep a figure, I'll go solo. So I pull the filter apart. Open the window, empty the extra water out into the yard, clean up the container, stick in a new filter, and put it back together.

Had my brother's family, and my sister in laws family over for dinner Saturday night. My brother is super stoked.

Quick and easy right? Wrong. I turn the water back on and the filter will not seal, it shoots water all over the floor, all over me. I get Diane up, she asks, where is the O ring from the top of the container? I stare at her blankly. Lamely I say, "I have no idea what you are talking about." I look out the window where I dumped the container but see nothing. I am fucked. It's 7:30 and 15 people are gonna show up at my house any minute for an 8:00 am ride.

Mark made it down for the ride but only got to enjoy 1.5 hours of if before having a small mechanical.

So Wes, who was in town for the ride, and I load up the toaster and we head for home depot. Driving up 273 we pass folks driving out to my house for the ride. First Elk, then Ted, then Dennis, FortJames, L.webb, Fitzy, and Amazin' Andrew... you get the point.

Elk laid the smack down on these cranks...

At home depot they didn't have my model water filer, and no filter that would work. I was getting frustrated, and figured I wouldn't get to ride at all today. Wes and I were heading for Sears to get a new filter. Just then, the ole cell rings. It's Diane.
"Hey bob villa, I found the o ring."
"where? " I ask.
she responds , "in the yard, where you threw it. I put the filter back together, everything is fixed. The water is fine."
"sweeeet!!" I exclaim.
Diane continues, "your boys are gonna bust you good, and DennisBike and Kurtee said you violated the 2 laws of plumbing. Never lose the O ring, and never do plumbing on the weekend."

Andrew stacked it big time today, richoceting off of a frozen rut into a tree. His face broke his fall. He survived largely unphased.

Luckily for me, the group did a nice hour, circled back and Wes and I were able to catch on for the remainder of the ride. Trails were super nice, towards noon they started to get a little greasy. I will admit, I didn't feel great on the ride today, but frankly I didn't think I'd really get to ride at all today, I was super stoked...

Sunday's group...

I can't ride white clay with Buddy. The dude is too fast, too strong there. I swear he owns that park. It's like it's his backyard, and with Matty (run forest), and Kevin on his wheel, it was not gonna be pretty. It's like pissing in the wind. We met up with a huge group of folks from Bean's today, and headed out around white clay. I think the original plan was a white clay, middle run loop, but the trails started to thaw, so Buddy and Matt headed the group for Rittenhouse. Wes and I bailed out and headed home. It was a fun ride, and it was good to see many of the Bean's guys that I hadn't seen in a while. They have a good riding group, kinda like parallel universe of ours. It's cool when everyone gets together for sure.

Some of the Bean's boys and FortJames...

Ben was strong as ever sunday. It was good to see him and
all the beans guys. great group of folks.

For the record Ted Logic got a shave and a haircut and can no longer be called and angry ewok. He rocked out with an extra hour to win the tough guy award the weekend, despite not riding sunday.

bob looking slim and trim... He has used the buy a house stess off lots of weight plan.
I'm looking into that...

After the ride, Diane, Wes and I hit the old green cricket café. I enjoyed a breakfast quesadilla, although I couldn’t finish the entire thing. On Kerry’s recommendation I tried a glass of chocolate milk as a recovery drink. Tasted good, but did upset the tummy just a little. Plumbing disasters and all, it was a hell of a good weekend. I think it’s nap time now.

respect
m

The Devil...

disclaimer:
This is not my original idea, it was inspired by something I heard on the radio. It is my take on it.

so basically, you diet your but off, you work hard at the gym, you are putting in the miles,you are starting to see results. The morning starts, it's 8:00 am, you have your normal coffee, light sugar no cream, gotta avoid the extra calories. Then you notice that some dude brought in a box of doughnuts. You say to yourself, "I don't need that crap" you've been working hard, making all the right choices. You are proud of your decision to abstain from the sweet stuff

But there they are, like crack, a fresh box of is calling your name. you know you shouldn't do it, but you figure what the frig' you've been working hard. So you fire back a doughnut, and finish off your coffee. Man you are on a sugar rush now, high as a kite, bouncing around the office. You feel more productive than you ever have in your life. Then it hits, the lull after the high. You come crashing to halt. You need a nap, you are slowly but surely grinding to a halt. You need another cup of coffee. It's 9:00 am

So you freshin' up the joe, and there they are the doughnuts. Still fresh, still sweet still easy to do. you say to yourself, damn, I had one, what's a second gonna hurt? So you take your fresh coffee, and you fire back another doughnut and it goes down even faster than the first. Bam, you are instantly up again, you are on fire, you like the feeling and say what the hell, I'm going for broke, a third, and maybe even a fourth. They are so tasty and sweet. You are a machine, moving at 100 miles an hour, emails are all clear, orders processed. Can anyone stop you? how can something that gives you so much energy be bad. it's 10:00am

finally, you sit at your desk. Everything has passed. The sugar high, gone, you are grinding so slowly that no amount of coffee in the world can bring you back to level. You feel like you've been on a weekend bender with the folks that make the girls gone wild videos. what will your parents think? You think about your tally, 6 doughnuts, 4 cups of coffee, that has to be like a million calories. It's quarter 'till 11:00. Your day is shot dude. Might as well take a halfer...

Doughnuts are evil.

respect
fm

The Mighty Spot Brand Factory Team

They are Earth's mightiest middle age single speeders, formed to fight the foes no single single speeder could withstand. The Mighty Spot Brand Team are the most prestigious and powerful singlespeeders in the world, devoted to protecting the planet from menaces beyond the scope of conventional authorities.

Matt (run forest) Thomson
Matt can cover his body in fire, fly at supersonic speeds, project fireballs or other fire objects, manipulate existing flame, and absorb heat with some mental strain. He can generate a nova-level burst of flame, one million degrees Fahrenheit, although this usually exhausts his powers for some time. Under normal usage, he is able to maintain his flame form for up to 17 hours.