WORST GRAFFITI TAG EVER

Dear Readers,

I took the long way to work today. Passed through a small town that had their Burger King recently close down. The abandoned restaurant fell victim to vandalism as the world's worst graffiti  artist, with the worst "tagger" name had struck. I'll admit while not a graffiti fan, I can appreciate a clever tag name, or a beautiful piece of work. The "artist" tagging the abandoned Burger King in Oxford, PA doesn't appear to be very clever:

I am going to go with one of two theories:

1. Tom Hudson is in for a lifetime of bad choices and serious hurt.
2. One of Tom Hudson's friends is playing an awfully mean trick on him.

I'll guess the Oxford Police were at Mr. Hudson't place this morning trying to sort out  just which it was...

And then of course I felt so bad for Jack Bauer..

The POC helmets really are pretty bad.

anyway, thanks for reading.

respect
vanderbacon

Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride

Dear Readers,

Saturday was the Mountain Bike National Championships and I was pretty realistic about my chances but I punched my ticket, I was going to the big dance. Opportunities to race in a national championship race are few and far between. And when they are less than 2 hours from your house, you gotta take that shot.   As Hunter S. Thompson says, "buy the ticket, take the ride"

Coming in I had no delusions of grandeur, and instead set a finishing time goal of 2:03. The race started fast, and I felt good. I felt like I was climbing well, but the field was flying. I was having a tough time staying with my group. Perhaps because of this I was extra aggressive on the downhill and technical rocky stretches that Bear Creek is known for... It was working . I was passing guys, moving up and on track to meet my goal. (39 minute first lap)

The second time up the climb was tough, but again, I stayed steady and rode cleanly to the top. I stayed within myself.  Oh, I was suffering, and not climbing particularly well, but I was moving, and I was riding the technical very well. All the while, I kept saying, " make up time when it gets technical... "

Top out of the climb and I get aggressive again. It was rad, I felt great, I pulled back 2 dudes that passed me on the top of the climb. I'm thinking to myself how much I love this course, this style of racing... Quick time check, and I am still on track to make my goal. I cross the bridge that dumps out on to a rooty, gnarly mess, and I drive to the outside to pass another rider. On the edge, the trail undulates, and I stuff my wheel into one of these divots. I'm launched over my bars and do a Hulk Hogan Leg Drop/hip drop on a pile of rocks.

Reality sets in. I might really be hurt. Throwing yourself on rocks sucks. I can't seem to put my legs together, or stand up I seriously thought I broke my hip for a few minutes. (I didn't).

A couple of guys passed and asked if I needed a medic. I said maybe. I was trying to do a mental check list to see what was wrong, I still couldn't get up... Big thanks to both Mike Stevens and Hal Batdorf who both stopped to check on me. Class Acts.

I got up, and got going again. My hip and my ass were killing me. Strava tells me I was on the ground for almost 3 minutes. My mojo was pretty much gone at this point. My bell rung.  I crawled my way to the heckle pit and I punched it through the heckle pit one more time, because heckle pit:

Heckle Pit was awesome. Thanks Heckle Pit. Will remember coming through there forever...

I then limped my way back to the start finish. My ass/hip were throbbing and I was pretty defeated. I didn't feel like I could get any power down and so I just drug my ass through the start finish, and sat up at the feedzone, calling it a day...

Disappointing for sure. I was on track to meet my goal, I was suffering, I was having fun. I'm still very tender in an uncomfortable place. Diane and I  hung out for a bit and cheered on friends, drank a beer and had a hot dog. And Advil, I took a lot of Advil.  Getting away from the crash, I'm guessing that I gave myself an Atomic Charlie Horse in the gluteus maximus. I'm still struggling to sit, get comfortable, and get going...

Nationals was an amazing experience, and while it was my third time riding Bear Creek and my first time racing Bear Creek, it will not be my last. That was awesome.

Photo Norm Z..

So I'm  battered, and bruised and sitting on a pillow as I type this, but man what an experience... That was rad. I would be bummed if I hadn't seized that opportunity. Not happy with the DNF, but it was the right move. I'll lick my wounds, and get back to it soon.

Thanks to the Monkey:

We had a really fun weekend, atomic charlie horse to the gluteus maximus aside. The Cat room (that's a story for another day), that we stayed in was very nice, even though Monk and I are clearly not a  bed and breakfast couple. We had an amazing dinner at the Bethlehem Social Club, and had a nice visit to the Velodrome. Saturday it was amazing to see so many racing friends, that was amazing...

I didn't however, catch up with Scotty too Hotty. Dude owes me some hugs.

Thanks for everyone's support, and kind words.

thanks for reading.

respect
vanderbacon

Stoudt's Summerfest

Dear Readers,

Stoudts Sumerfest has quickly become one of my favorite events on the calendar. Why you ask? A 4 hour relay/solo race racing around the Stoudts Brewery in Adamstown, PA. The course is short: 8-10 minute laps and the entire event has  an outstanding atmosphere and vibe. Dave Borden and his team pretty much personally greet everyone, and their attention to details like T-shirts, pint glasses and quick attention to the course anytime, anything might go south during the day totally exceeds expectations. There are three classes (solo, duo and four person) all very competitive, but at the same time the course and event is challenging and fun enough that it keeps your attention even if you aren't racing for the box. I get this style of racing is a little different than your typical  xc event, different is good my friends.  If you have missed Stoudts Summerfest these past two seasons, I'd strongly encourage you to mark your calendar and make it out next year... Thanks to the JB Bikes/Stoudts team for hosting a wonderful, challenging and fun event.

before and after shots. All smiles. A lot stinkier on the right!

Did I mention that the race is at the Stoudts Brewery? After the race they have amazing beer and outstanding bratwurst. The racers gather in the beer garden for awards, and more importantly a nice drink and food, and shares stories of the battles fought during the day. It is awesome. While I had an awful case of race gut and didn't get a chance to sample my favorite beer in the world (Stoudts Triple) I did have an awesome Stoudts bratwurst with sauerkraut, or at least half a serving before my stomach warned me that it allowed me to enjoy some, but not to get carried away. Diane said on the way home that the beer garden was one of her favorite things, and that she missed the social side of this game, and sharing the stories from the race. She was on cloud nine. I couldn't have been happier for her...

Gorka won the day. (photo from D.Lowe)

GORKA RACED IN A SPEEDO. That was kinda awesome. I caught up to him on one lap, and jokingly said to him "out of the way speedo!"  He looked over at me and started to laugh, commenting about this might not being the best idea. I hope he has a comfy chair at the office or home.

Our teammates, Consorto and Jenn Sears, were racing on another duo team, and seemed to have the worst luck with sidewalls on their tires today. First Consorto shredded one, and then Jenn came in with one destroyed. I was too out of it to help out, but Andy Di Michele, another of the great ambassadors/hosts for the Stoudts/JB Bike team came over and saved the day changing the flat, and booting the tire. It was awesome.  Thanks Andy... Let me add, Barry  came over and asked them where they cut their tires, and headed over to the spot with a crew to make sure the course was holding up, and fix the point of bother. Like I said, these guys are really good. Thanks Barry!

Dennis Bike making sure our compound is coming together well..

We had a pretty outstanding compound going, we had Dennisbike.com (BikeLine), Chappy(BikeLine), Schindler (BikeLine), Erik Mitchell (Spintek), Travis Harnish (BikeLine), Consorto (C3), Jenn Sears (C3), Heather H (WoodenWheels), Scotty too Hotty (BikeLine),Nick (TBR),  Blake (C3) , Diane and I, bordered by the TBR kids, who I am a big fan of.. It was a good group of folks to be around on a tough day... Wish I had gotten a group shot but I blew it...

photo by Robert May

Our race went about as good as it could get. Thanks to Monkey's over preparation, we kinda had everything we needed and some. She's good at this planning stuff.  We had made a plan early on, and followed it. I did the worst 50 yard dash ever, and screwed up the Lemans Style start, then charged past maybe 10 riders as hard as I could off the start.

photo Bill White

By the top of the switchback: "Goat Hill" I had clawed my way up to third. Nick Sears (Trestle Bridge Racing) was gone,

Dude Looks good in that kit...

and  Justin Sotdorus had enough of a gap that I wasn't bringing him back. Andrew Dunlap (Rare Disease Cycling), who would win the solo class would come around me as we passed the team tents. That was pretty good company and I accomplished my goal of giving Monk clear track from traffic for her first lap. We settled into our plan. (yes, we had a spread sheet).  As we got to the half way point it was clear Monkey was hurting a bit, so we had to adjust our strategy. We went from a 3/2 lap rotation to a 4/2 lap rotation. Monk wasn't recovering as quickly as we had hoped.

 I had 100% more cramps doing 4 laps per rotation than 3.  We were starting to slide into survival mode. As we got to the final hour, I allowed myself to look at the standings for the first time. We were in the top 10 and battling with Johan/Gary from Evolution and Werner (Easy Riders) for 8-10th place. Werner's teammate had broken his bike early in the race, and Werner kept plowing forward as a solo. With 15 minutes to go I  tagged Diane as she headed out for her last lap. I started to ask her "do you want 8th or 10th?" but refrained. Diane is not in shape. She's been riding for just 3 months now after a year off. She dug so deep today, I was so proud of her and how hard she worked. Her knee held up well today, and I know she was stoked, so where-ever we ended up, it was going to be a win. How do you ask someone who has clearly laid it all out there for more?

Photo Robert May

Diane finished her lap and sent me out to wrap it up with three minutes until the cut off. For those readers who like the final result, we finished 8th- totally exceeding either of our expectations. We may have been the happiest 8th place 4 hour duo relay finishers EVER today- totally far exceeding either of our pre-race expectations.

Our final transition... photo by Bill White!

One final note on how awesome this race is... During my last lap I came through the heckle/beer/party zone, and the crowd, which stayed energized all day long kept on screaming. I felt someone pat me on the back and calmly say , "you rode well all day today Marc, good job!" I'm not gonna lie, that was one of the many exclamation marks on this day...

thanks for reading.

respect
Vanderbacon

Sometimes you aren't meant to ride...

Dear Reader,

The plan was pretty simple, do some quick maintenance on my mountainbike, and then head out on the road to knock out a set of intervals.

What could go wrong?

boys are going to help out on this one...

Started out changing my rear tire. The new tire was a little tight, and after getting a blister on my thumb pushing the bead on, I figured things were going well. I used the Stan's injector and run down to the local gas and sip to use their air compressor and get going. I was a bit cocky and things didn't go well, as I blew Stan's Goo  all over the place and me. I throw the tire/wheel back in the car and speed home angrily. I finally get the tire back on the rim, spray soapy water around the tire, and finally get it to seat properly using up my last Co2 cartridges, and a mighty fast floor pumping action.

Okay, that did not go as smoothly as planned, but you know I can still make this work.

On to the drive train. I pull the cassette and quickly realize that the free hub body was broken. Nothing is going easily. So I grab my wife, and the wheel hop into the car and run down to the LBS. Thankfully Roger and Dwayne knock this out for me quickly, and I'm back in business.

It's starting to get, late, but my tire is changed, free hub body, and cassette are now ready to go, just a quick chain change and I can get out for my intervals. I mean this hour job is now going on 2.5 plus two car trips, but I can make it work. I'm frustrated and tired of bikes right now.

I get the old chain off, and measure the new. I start to trim some links off the new chain and my chain-tool breaks in half. "Are you freaking kidding me?" I exclaim. Can I get a break today?

Diane, watching the tour and me in the background, laughs-

I finish up the chain installation and exasperated said, "I hate bikes" hanging my bike back up in the garage and made myself a cup of coffee and sit on the couch next to Diane.

Diane says "I'm guessing you're gonna ride later?"

I did ride later with these guys. Photo OneLegMatt.

I hum-pf  a little bit and pout, pretty much hating bikes for the moment.

Later in the day, we come to find out that exactly the time I was struggling with my quick bike maintenance debacle, our friends Kita and Josh were driving out the exact roads that I was planning on to do my intervals. While they were heading out on this little twisty usually lightly trafficked road, it seems that some local meth heads took off an maddening run and on their way out the side swiped a couple of cars (including Kita's, and eventually took out another, and launched themselves into a ditch. Kita had sent over this picture of the conclusion of the meth head's mad run.

Thankfully, Kita and Josh were not injured, but there car was sideswiped.

In shock, Diane looked at me and smiled knowingly, "you were not meant to ride this morning."

thanks for reading.

respect
vanderbacon

Super Hot Bike Driving Machine...

Dear Readers,

The other night I had a really fun ride around Fairhill with my friend Shane. My legs were still feeling a little beat up so I went with a loop that would allow me to capitalize on my deception and guile skills. I choose a loop that while it has some uphill, the thrust really was more bike driving than anything else.

We had a blast. Although Shane did have to put up with me telling stories of the old days again. (sorry Shane)

After the ride, Monkey and I were standing in the kitchen and we decided to head down to the Dear Park for $1.50 Taco night. Diane rushed me off to shower and I asked her to upload my ride to Strava. I asked her to call the ride "hot- night bike driving with Shane..."

I ran up stairs,  took my shower, and ran down stairs and we headed out. Monkey was driving into town when  I took a look at the ride on my phone, you know because I wanted to geek out a bit on my numbers (remember, I'm your team's mid pack masters rider, this is what we do). I saw the title: "Super Hot Bike Driving Machine"

"WTF, Monk!" I said to her, what's up with that title "Super Hot Bike Driving Machine" are you busting me or what?

Monk replied, "that's what you told me to call it!"

I responded ,"No, it's not I said HOT NIGHT BIKE DRIVING WITH SHANE! NOT SUPER HOT BIKE DRIVING MACHINE!"

Monkey started to laugh, " I thought that was kind of a cocky ride title for you..."

We both laughed, as I quickly changed my cocky ride title to the appropriate title.

The $1.50 Taco were pretty good. I went with all beef. I think next time I'll next that up a bit, maybe mix in a chicken or pork... We'll see...

thanks for reading.

respect
vanderbacon

We Aim To Please! A Traditional Sizzler Race Report

Dear Readers,

Recently we got some feedback from a few longtime readers, that said while they still certainly enjoy the blog, and my most recent write up regarding the Summer Sizzler, they wanted to know how the race unfolded for me.

To quote John from Topeka, KS, "What's a brother gotta due to get a traditional race report around here?"

Well folks, we here at Vanderbacon Enterprises aim to please, so here you go. This is of course my own oxygen debted version. The names have not been changed to protect the innocent.

"Hard fought 10th place. Was in 4th looking at 3rd (Keith L. from Bulldog cycles) at the end of two. I felt like I was bringing him back. In the end, He would hold me off.  Starting lap three I was promptly passed by a mini peloton containing Cimini (Equipe Vitesse, one of my favorite people in the world, and world's worst cycling fashion dude), Thayer (Bike Line and who I'm convinced has Wolverine's Healing Factor), and Werner (Easy Riders- My favorite person to battle with in cross and mtb too). They were nose to tail, and  I tried to hold on as  the fourth wheel, but felt like the riders at the back of the crit who have to sprint out of every corner to get back on. I was burning matches I didn't have. I couldn't move up, so I gave them a little space. Apparently a little too much. Final lap, I felt pretty good Daryl Weaver came through. Last half lap I was in a pretty dark spot. Joe Bothel (Bike Line, and one of my favorite training partners) came by and tried to coax me along, I gave chase, but there wasn't a lot there.  As we came to the last part of trail Kyle Miller (Rare Disease Cycling and a damn good looking kid) who was in the 19-39 and had been sitting on my wheel after I caught him on the third lap, attacked to space himself from the Guys rider we had caught with rad tattoos. This is the second time in recent years I caught Kyle, he sat on me for a lap, and even though we're not in the same race, and you know I took 2 minutes out of him, he jumped me at the finish. I point this out, because we love each other and that what dudes do.  I finished, exhausted and pretty stoked, but also know that I hate giving up spots at the end of a race, and I hemorrhaged them in the back half. Work to be done. On the positive 3 minutes separated 2nd and 10th in our class. We 40+ guys are a stupid competitive bunch.  This was a super deep race, as frankly all the 40+ races I have done this year have been..."

There you have it folks. Service with a Smile! Call Now and order your Vanderbacon. Operators are waiting! :-)

thanks for reading, and caring about my cycle racing world!

respect
Vanderbacon

Summer Sizzler at Sewell-

Dear Reader,
I love to race my bike.
Today was so hard, so much fun.

For me, racing bikes is always a process. I love that process. Push and pull, rest as hard as you ride. Just keep grinding away at it, for the eternal hope that it all comes together. One or two good days make all the hard days worth it. While I wouldn't call today one of those magical days, it was really fun. I was pretty deep in the hurt locker for a longtime... yeah...

Man, I love to race my bike. While I'm still  finding my legs, I am seeing progression and that's so motivating. Today, I was in the battle. It felt good. I love the fight.  It was a tough field, a good course for me, and I'm happy with my day.

Photo JP Travis

I'm pretty damn stoked.

it was a good damn day.

thanks for reading.

respect
Vanderbacon

College Kids Ruin Everything

Dear Readers,

The other night I was out for an easy ride. The kind of ride that my friend Shane lovingly calls a multi-tasking ride: you know it's so slow you can sleep and ride at the same time. Yeah, I thought that was funny too. Anyway, I was out for one of my easy rides, and I knew that my rear tire was a little low on air. I was looping around the college campus when what did I see but a bicycle repair oasis!

I thought to myself, "man college kids these days have it so freaking good! This is so damn cool! " All the tools anyone wouldn't need right here in the bike parking area. Plus, what a bonus I need air my tire, and here's a pump! Yeah, University of Delaware! So I quickly hooked the pump up to my rear tire, of course letting a little more air out of the tire, and then I begin to pump when I notice something is wrong...

Fucking college kids could screw up a wet dream. Sonofabitch. The pump was completely destroyed. Now with my even more flat tire, my hopes dashed, I continued on my way home limping on back to my car home.

UUGG.

thanks for reading.

respect
vanderbacon