5:15 am
The alarm goes off. The sun is barely up. I reach on to the floor and grab my knickers. Rain is coming tonight, and I know this is gonna be my last chance to ride in the woods for a while. I want to be at the trail head by 5:45. Still the bed is warm, I am tired, and grumpy.

5:40 am
Out of the truck and on to the bike. I turn on my mp3 player. Sometimes some music helps get the blood flowing. I have the volume up a little high I reach back to turn it down. I can't find the button. I pull it out of my pocket, jerk the cord, which pulls my head back, I fumble the player, and launch it on to the ground. damn it. How has this thing lasted 3 years ? I pick it up. still working. back to the bike. I'm still grumpy

6:00 am
climbing over the border trail, my legs feel tired, I feel a small twinge of cramp in my calf. I know I'm a little dehydrated. Coming down the other side, I almost stack it as the front wheel breaks a little loose. Damn need new tires for this bike. great spend more money. I can hear Diane busting my chops now. This has been an expensive month. I bet shuffleboard would be a cheaper hobby. I climb the switch back, pushing myself, I am suffering. I think to myself. "you know, at Christmas, I just wanted to be able to ride my bike" " 8 weeks ago I just wanted to be able to not get dropped by my friends" " and now, now I want to be fast. why can't I be satisfied ?" What the hell am I doing out here at 6:00 in the morning ?" What the hell is wrong with me ? I struggle over the top of the switch back climb, used too much gas at the bottom. I'm cold, I start to question if I wore enough clothing. "damn it I should have stayed in bed." I am surly and getting crankier.

6:20 am
I climb over Brian's Field trail and hit a pocket of warm air. It feels good. My legs, although still tired have opened up. Prodigy's "smack my bitch up" thumps with a driving techno beat in my head. I rip through the corners, leaning way over. Yeah this is fun.

6:40 am
I climb crisply past the skills trail and descend with precision. I pass gentleman walking his dog. I give him a high 5. I love when people play my games. Iggy Pop is singing " I am a passenger. I ride and I ride..." I climb up the field behind Saint Bartoo's house and I know why I am here. This is what I do. damn it's beautiful. This sun is shining in it’s full glory. Iggy sings ," we ride through the city at night,,, la, la, la ladity da,..." I feel warm and giddy...

6:50 am
I'm heading back to the toaster (my truck)… Kid Rock sings in my ear "you get what you put in, and people get what they deserve, still I ain't seen mine, no I ain’t seen mine..." I sing out loud with the pimp of america. This is one of the things you can do before 7:00 am in the woods. I turn a crank in anger, I charge through the last section. My heart rate spikes. I am high on myself, basking in the glory of the trails, the sunshine, I cruise out of the park and on to Chambers Rock Road. I raise my hands in victory. This morning was a victory. I am totally stoked. I think to myself, "Good enough, is not good enough. Part of the fun of this game, is to see how far I can go, how far I can progress, and just what I can do, " I am a product of the Wooden Wheels Family, the freaking greatest mountainbike team in the world, I am proud to be a founding member of the Secret Henry's Team. I am the...

6:51am
Some MBNA motherfucker talking on his cell phone tries to run me off the bridge, that I was clearly on first. Bastard. Go play golf or something…

The Rolling Stones begin to play in my ears... "please allow me to introduce myself, I am a man of wealth and taste..." I feel a funny smile come across my face. Yeah, that's it. I am the Spot Brand Corporate Whore... I am a hack ass, small fish single speeder. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I turn right on to the fire-road that leads to my truck, and I know what I am, and why I am here early this morning. I am resplendent. "so if you meet me show some courtesy, have some sympathy and some taste…"

7:40 am
I’m at work with a Cheshire grin on my face, I call my wife and tell her I’m safe and that I love her. Today, is going to be a good day…

7:00 PM
Return from Henry’s tonight and Diane has some bad news for me. Diane reports sadly that Slick Rick and Dan the Man must be color blind, because my new jerseys no way match the henry’s shorts. That’s okay, matching is over rated anyway…

Respect
fm

1 Spot, 2 Spot

Little Fish, Dangerous Dan, and the Melty man

“you forgot to ask how much it was gonna cost, you dumb ass!” Diane barked at me as I disconnected my cell phone with the kennel where my dogs were staying, arranging for my parents to pick up our boys. I could understand her crankiness, we had a wonderful few days in Colorado Spring, but the break was anything but restful. As we sat for a 2 hour delay on the tarmac of George Herbert W Bush International Airport in Houston, waiting for improving weather in our final destination city of Philadelphia. What made Diane’s loud comment especially poignant was that on the plane were sitting amongst 20 or so catholic school teachers on their way to Philly for a conference. And yeah, 4 of them were nuns. The “dumb ass” comment carried and the plane got real quite for a few moments. Ah the joys of traveling with the chunky monkey.

Over the years a number of my friends have moved out to Colorado. To be honest I never really understood the lure of Colorado. This last weekend I had a great time hanging out with a bunch of my friends and exploring Colorado Springs, Vail, and Breckenridge. I will say this, although I feel no great calling to move west, I can understand why folks are lured here. It's all about the culture. It's all about the life style. It seemed to me that folks here were free of the "normal" expectations of the American dream, 2 kids, a house a white picket fence. In Colorado it seemed folks were free to purse what they loved. Weather it be riding, partying, snowboarding, art, whatever, at the end of the day, this atmosphere was really a place where folks were free to pursue their dreams. "live the life" as Dangerous Dan would say. Although the sirens of Colorado are not calling me, after this weekend I can understand why so many are compelled to follow that song.

Thursday...
Never eat Wawa chili. Wednesday at lunch I looked it over even asked for a little sample before selecting it, but sure enough I did. It is a decision I have sense regretted. Wednesday night I was never able to go too far from a toilet, and flying out of Philly I was afraid I'd have issues on the plane. thank god I didn't the thought of shitting on an air plane makes me cringe more than using the johns at Fairmount Park.

We hit Colorado springs about noon. We met up with KC and Mark. Their place is just a few blocks past the Olympic training center. We saw some of the u23 s heading out for a road ride. We got settled and walked into town to get some food. Colorado springs had a really cool feel to it. Like a big ole college town, but it isn't really. Lots of dirty hippies, seriously white dread, granola hippies.

Walking into town we saw some more riders. Funny at home you see some dude out in a pro a kit and you say "dude that's cool gear, you big euro whore!" In Colorado Springs you see someone in a pro kit, and well it's the real deal.

I was beat from traveling, but it was sunny and warm. So I figured I take a nap, shake some jet lag and we head out for a ride. I go to sleep it's sunny and warm. I wake up and it's snowing. Fuck.

Mark cooked dinner and we watched the BBC show couplings. Dude, this was seriously funny shit. I'm gonna buy them up like nothing...

Friday-
Katie made waffles for us. They were really good. We went to the Colorado cyclist store. I have to admit I was a little disappointed, I mean I have been getting their catalog for almost 10 years, and I expected the store to have some holy grail of cool stuff. Basically, the store was the catalog. nothing more nothing less. folks working were really cool. We hung out and talked smack for a while with the guys. What stuck with me was when the manager said "big fish from little ponds all over the country come here, and they learn really quickly how tough it is to swim in the ocean." Word.

We headed out for a nice hike on trails we were gonna ride. Hike was good.

snow 

Highlight of the day, perhaps the weekend was going out to Vail to see Dangerous Dan.

Danny was looking really good, although Reese, his dog has gotten fucking huge. Dan explains "be careful, she's sensitive about her weight. " We ate at the restaurant were he works and shared a couple of PBRs. Nights with Dangerous Dan are always late ones, we went to a club in Vail and saw the dirty dozen brass band.. really good stuff.

Saturday

Said some tearful goodbyes to Dangerous Dan. I seriously miss that dude. Headed back for Colorado springs. Along the way we stopped at the Columbine Café, and I had a killer breakfast burrito. Dynamite. Diane mutilated her eggs as usual.

Sunday

More waffles. So good.

Got home, and I quickly got dressed for a ride. I knew I was one of a million medium sized fishes in small ponds that wanted to take a dip in the ocean. I was so excited to ride. Mark had frankenbiked one of Katie’s bikes for me and we headed towards the mountain trails. I was so stoked. I rode great Tuesday night, and I was ready to rock out. Then the trail went up. And I couldn't breathe. I pedaled, I wasn't going fast, and I thought I was gonna pass out. The air was thin. Mark in a cool, gesture, heard my labored breathing, it sounded more like I was in labor, and said, "welcome to Colorado, mate." Perhaps luckily for me the trails were really too wet to ride, and we bailed out early.

Back at the house, I was washing the bike, and feeling a little dejected, and 3 kids rolled up on scooters and inquired, " Mister, are you with the Olympic program." "clearly, not" I replied with my tail tucked between my legs, I looked up and saw Katie laughing in a good bust my balls kinda way

Mark kindly frankenbiked a sweet frame he built back in 1996. It was really nice Columbus tubing, was set up 1X8, and lucky me had the easiest gear a 21. What the hell, we hit the road. I can't remember a time in my life when I was so scared to go on a ride. My experience the day before, you know with the breathing was horrible, and I was terrified that would happen again. I took deep breaths the entire ride trying to make sure I didn't pass out. We climbed up through a neighborhood, and Katie said "the next one is the hill, it'll be 8-10 minute climb" 8-10 minute climb, that's 3 hill repeats where I live folks. I survived, and we headed over to Garden of the gods. The highlight of the ride for me. Very cool, road winding through some incredible rock structures. We were flying through; I was out of the saddle on each rise trying to stay near Katie and Mark. We cornered hard. Man, it was awesome. We looped around a bit more, and headed home.

Later that day Katie left for a training camp in San Diego. Fucking Rock Star.

Mark gave Diane and I a great tour. We saw the Olympic Training Center, the 7-11 velodrome, and the Colorado Springs Dog park. Mark is really fucking cool. Never mind that the dude is the real deal. Cat 1 on the road 6th at cross nats last year. The guy has a smooth coolness that I've only seen from one other person ever in my life. With his kiwi accent, and a nonchalantence he has wisdom that permeates everything he does. The only person I think I have met this smooth was Nick R. Mark is quiet, humble about his past experiences, and racing. The dude raced in Belgium. I felt like sometimes I was prying stuff out of him, but shit I'm such a bike geek I was truly interested in every story he had. Once Mark got going he could really tell a great story. It would usually go like this.
"Mark, where did you get that frame?" "Funny story about that frame..."
Man, I was sucking it up like a sponge. As we sat Sunday night, drinking Murphy's Irish Stouts, and Black and Tans, Diane and I sat enjoying Mark's stories from racing, and traveling the world. It was truly a great night. The evening finished up with another round of the Coupling. Seriously, you have to see this show, so freaking funny. Just watch out for the melty man.

Great trip. Freaking great trip.

Respect
fatmarc

get back into the closet, pal...

This is my closet. In the past I always kept my bike stuff organized in here. I hated not knowing were all my stuff was, what was clean, what was dirty, what was missing. Yeah, I'm a little bit anal. Anyway, since I got hurt I have used a different cycling gear strategy. The bins. I had one for tops, one for bottoms, and one for everything else. I just washed it threw it in a bin, and pulled it out when I needed it. Since I started riding again, I was slowly going crazy with the bin strategy. So last night, I hooked up the closet again. You might have noticed the stock pile of pink leopard helmets, oh yeah baby.

Hanging in the back is the jersey we won from the 24hrs of Seven Springs a couple years ago. That was fun. Really proud of that effort. I had planned to have my D20 Championship jersey from the "killer b's" in 1999. Yeah, except after they took my money and I won the damn thing they decided to not give one out for the b's. I mean as the hack ass I am, I will have lots of chances to win jerseys in my life, they don't really mean anything do they? Fuckers. Yeah, I'm not too bitter about that... Here guys, do you want the pictures my wife took of me on the podium too?. Bastards.

At least my closet kicks ass. I can always be proud of that...

Keith and Todd. Todd man of the hour now on WV's bandwagon. Dude doesn't get older, just faster...

What else. Oh yeah, we had a freaking great ride at middle run tonight. The group was Todd, Biddle (ty domi of cross), Keith G (bobby's boy), Slick Rick, Green Trek John, Paul G and me. Todd was dominate tonight, descending I felt like I was on it, but he would gap me and consistently get time on the entire group all night. I'd fight like hell to get a wheel going up only to lose it on the way down again. What a difference a week makes, last week he was begging to be dropped and this week, he was spectacular.

Paul G. broke another rock shox post and had to bail early. Hey Paul I have one in my basement you can have if you want it. I can pre- break it for you if it makes it easier for you.

Green Trek John bailed next, as he didn't have any lights. The split had been made for the night.

Biddle laid the smack down on Slick Rick while on the judge and put him down pretty quickly that was funny. Slick Rick bounced back quickly.

As usual Todd picked out a great loop and was careful to not miss any trails in MR. That's always a nice touch. Lots of witty repartee tonight. Yeah, can't miss that. Todd lead the group in a round of "you spend me right round, round like a red ball" The classic 80's hit by?
That's right Dead or Alive.
Believe it or not my wife has the disc in our collection. Painful but true.

Keith dives into the "V" unprotected...

We spent a little time on this nasty little rock section called the "V". Truth be told I've only cleaned the little bastard twice. Both times I was following Keith's line. Tonight despite a number of attempts none of us made it. It may have been my flash in everyone's face screwing everyone up. Keith said it was because he didn't have the balls he used to. Was that bad? well maybe...

You know what they say about the "V". It's evil. Once you have the "V" you can't ever go with out it. The "V" will make you think differently. The "V" has been the ruin of many a young man's life. That's just what they say.

Finished up the night with that bastard climb up along side the church, every year I wait for the time when I can power up that thing effortlessly and say it was easy. Every year, I curse that thing, and suffer over the top. Tonight was tough, fun and hard. I suffered badly up a number of hills; it may have been my hardest ride this year. I was really happy I could hang in. These are some bad dudes. I'm lucky to get to ride with them.

respect
fm

Rick fumbles on the lip of the "V". Happens to the best of us at least once.

all I can say is that the velvet underground is great, and I like watching the puddles gather rain...

recovery during a nap interval session

Pretty mellow weekend. What you see above is pretty much it. That and I consumed a whole lot of alcohol. Well, a lot for me. Got shots Friday, pain has been better but back was sore where they made the injections. Per the doctor I am off the bike until Monday, so I sat back and watched a lot of basketball, refused to shower, and drank beer. I guess Todd was wrong about Wake going deep huh? Go WV !

Saturday night rocked out with Bry and Tab for a bit. Got a sweet new camera on Zeke’s recommendation. Went to borders totally lit up to read euro trash magazines that I can’t afford, and who do I see gracing the cover of this mag ?
KC is such a rock star. Looking forward to seeing her, chop, and maybe the B’s soon.

Sounds like a bitchen ride Saturday. I was green with envy reading about what a killer group and how much fun it was. The couch, while relaxing, did nothing to exhilarate me, or help me get stronger. Although I have found it is easier to do nap intervals on the couch than the bike.

Sitting on the couch I was thinking about the season. A couple weeks ago I had a nice section, a nice little climb and I was pretty stoked. Slick Rick brought me back to earth saying “we have to be able to do that for 2 hours.” I didn’t think about it at the time, because I was resplendent to just be riding, and not have to stop on top of a hill, but riding Fairhill Thursday, I was pathetic, couldn’t keep the bike rolling, never got on top of the gear. Felt like I struggled in the rollers so much. Sitting on the couch I was just reminded that I have along way to go. Form comes with persistence. I keep reminding myself of that…

Between nap intervals, I spent some time surfing. If you want quick updates on the norba nationals, don’t look at velonews or cyclingnew, go to Jason Sager’s Blog . He updates quickly, has a great perspective considering he is right in the race, and frankly his blog is a great read. It has quickly become one of my favorites. I have enjoyed following along with his season as he looks for a breakout race, and the Norba podium. Best updates on racing, it’s like the quick inside story. Check it out.

more fries please !

Diane was great today. Went out with her family to a restaurant called the Kitty Knight house. It was a little chi chi for our normal taste, and frankly for all the pomp and circumstance the food wasn’t that great. Diane was surly as hell before we left because she had to iron a shirt, and clean up a little. Who’s the dirty bastard now?

Anyway, I had a big damn pretzel covered with cheese and crab meat. Crab was good, but the pretzel was sub par. Also ate a po’ boy sandwich consisting of oysters and cheese and some good veggies. They went heavy on onions which kinda dominated the flavor. Yeah, I know a far cry from the oatmeal diet, but screw it, gotta have a little balance in your life. Anyway, I expected more from this place, as nice as the amenities were the food was on par with pub fare, and not at pub fare prices. The waitress noticed they skimped on my fries, and she loaded me up with an extra bowl. That was nice, although not necessary.

All in all a quiet weekend. Believe it or not I’m looking forward to hitting the training tomorrow morning and to get rolling again. Base 2 starts tomorrow. Let’s see what I can do…

Respect
fatmarc

St. Patrick's Day

Great. more fing crack backs on my hair. My lovely sister in law, who I adore offers up Syndrome as a description for my hair. Great I'm a comic book villain. I think a mullet was better...

Today is St. Patrick's day, the holiest of all holy holidays. My favorite holiday all year. It commemorates the snakes being driven out of Ireland, the world championships of Sean Kelly, the invention of Guinness, John Kerry defeating W, and of course the Red Sox Winning the World Series. Look, everyone wear's green, you celebrate drinking, and it's almost spring. How can you lose?

Diane and I both have off tomorrow; as well I'm getting more injections, so we headed out to Kate's in town to celebrate the holiday. The place was packed. We were probably towards the upper end of the age scale, but WTF it was fun. We had a large plate of nachos, debated about who had the best chip, and Diane filled me in on Alias from last night, and of course drinks. Lots of drinks. Good night.

You know my wife really rules. First of all, I am a dork. I mean a super dork, and Diane, well she's cool. She puts up with all my crap. My cycling foolishness, my 33 year old dude still dressing like I was a skateboarder shit. My "I like to be dirty", I only want to each burritos, and my damn it C is for cookie that's good enough for me bullshit.

I am totally smitten. Thing is, she's perfect for me and that's pretty awesome. What's also awesome is when we are out at bars and she points out all the chicks with big cans to me. Yeah, nothing like watching my lovely wife and a 24 year old, hefty frat boy, almost both spill their drinks while simultaneously pointing out a lovely young lady, who was perhaps showing a little more cleavage than was socially acceptable. And I think, based on the amount of ass she had hanging out of her pants she is going to school to be a plumber. Seriously, the hefty frat dude and Di were in perfect synchronicity, right arm extending, right hands pointing, mouths dropping open, and the inevitable "holy shit!" shouted.

Best part of the entire deal was when the frat dude looked at Diane like he wanted to give her a high 5.Then he realized, that well she was probably in her late 20's and a woman, and well, the inevitable WTF expression on his face was great. Followed of course by him yelling "dude your wife rules !" yeah, I know it. It was a good night.

Like all rock stars Diane is rocking out on the guitar right now. Wait she might have just ate shit sliding across the kitchen in her sox. You know under normal circumstances her balance isn't so great, right now it's really impaired. Wait, she's up again, every things cool.

Got to ride white clay and fairhill today. Hit White Clay at 6:00 am, was seeing stars climbing up that border trail. Trails were dry but didn't roll nearly as well as MR did the other night. I rode one of the obstacles, and shouted out "yeah!!" as I cleaned it for the first time. That was rad. Looping home I hit the same obstacle in a different direction. I was just a little hot and almost launched myself into the log pile. That would have been bad.

Fairhill was awesome. 10 minutes after getting home I was out the driveway and deep into the "crack head bob" trail. It was sweet. Technically I wasn't great today, but I had fun. It's easy to get spoiled following Fuzzy and Matt's lines; Much tougher having to pick you own. But heck, I rode trails 3 days this week. How can I complain?

Well, I just want to wish you and all of yours a happy St. Patrick's day. It is after all, the greatest of all holidays...

Respect
fatmarc

More fun than a....

Yes, the wonder that is Disney...

Chain ring bolts fear this man...

This is supposed to be a rest week for me. Ha.
I get more shots in the spine Friday, so I'm trying to cram all my hours for the week into 3 days, as I won't be able to ride Friday, Saturday or Sunday. Yeah, no sweat. Yikes.

My friend LWeb (If biatch) rode up to meet me today. LWeb, Karen B and I were gonna go for a ride. Now this wasn't all fun, LWeb has been talking to me about roots and shoots program and youth group which may have a tie in to my job. But, as it turns out there was a lunch meeting I was supposed to be in, (it wasn't on my outlook calendar, I swear) and well, I missed it. I went to the meeting organizer told her my dilemma, she was cool, but still couldn't help having a weird feeling in my gut. In the end I think everything was cool, but... well...anyway... we had a fun ride, and did talk some shop. Damn, just a weird moment I guess.

Tonight was another good ride, MR was beautiful. Rolled out of the Zingo's parking lot with Fuzzy, Matty T, Todd, Keith G (bobby's boy), leg breaker Buddy, Single Speed Dan. We ripped the Judge. It was fast as all hell. I was hanging on for dear life and Fuzzy and Matt were picken' out sweet lines. It was just point and shoot. Single Speed Dan and his huge freaking legs destroyed yet another set of chain ring bolts and he was done early. We rolled back to the parking lot, Fuzzy, who was out much earlier bailed, and we picked up Slick Rick.

The rest of the night the fun continued. Leg breaker Buddy stopped a few times to make some minor adjustments to his IONIC. Small victory for me on this night, as this was the first time I wasn’t dropped on a mountain bike ride this year. F- yeah. Form (which I don’t have) comes with persistence. Todd was sporting a sweet knee brace, and plans on racing female/ beginner/ Clydesdale/ for white guys from Brooklyn this season. He was trying to get dropped on the 5 second rule, which he created, but kept hanging around at about 4 seconds. Todd likes Wake to go far in the tournament. I took some beatings over my hair growth:

First this exchange:

Slick Rick: " you going for an Elvis gone bad look with the burns and the mullet ?"
Me; " gunnar has a mullet."
Slick Rick : " gunnar is not a role model."

Then this exchange:

Todd " I'll get everyone to throw in 50 bucks if you go with the real deal. I mean shaved top,
Full on tail in the back, died red."
Leg Breaker Buddy " It's gotta be spiked on top. Gotta be spiked."

Ride ended up with everyone sharing a nice road soda in the parking lot.

Gotta give props to my main man Keith G. Two weeks ago he had a cancerous testicle removed, and tonight he was totally ripping. Not to mention, he had most of us laughing our asses of with one ball jokes. He said it's his way of coping. Dude, not to laugh at cancer, but I almost crashed laughing so hard a couple of times. How do you laugh at that? Stare fucking death in the face and laugh. Shit too deep for fatmarc.com for sure. I'm glad Keith was there. It was great to ride with him again.

Came home and Diane had just gotten home from Guitar. She loves guitar, but is hating a song she's been working on. Yeah Home on the Range. It's like the devil's song for her. What ever you do don't sing "oh give me a home" around her.. Anyway she picked up Taco Bell on the way home. Yeah, Taco Bell isn't the best Mexican, hell it's not Mexican at all, but after a long day, it was quite welcomed. Chicken Quesidilla and cheesey potatoes. mmm good.

heard Jebbagger might have a girl friend. steer clear young jedi, alcohol, women, an recreational drugs have been the downfall of many a good man. (vice versa if you are a woman.) (and if your gay it's been your down fall too, men to men, women to women, yeah you know what i mean...)

Respect
fatmarc