damn you Gay UPS truck, how dare you come back into my life...

Monkey’s office is all pretty much working from home this week or on vacation.


One of our neighbors came by the house while she was there. While we consider ourselves good neighbors and wave and are friendly and helpful to everyone. That being said we do tend to keep to ourselves a bit. The neighbors often refer to us as the “crazy bike people” who have “like 30 people show up at 8 in the morning, and by noon there’s not a soul to be seen.” “it’s like a damn bike flash mob or something…”

The woman that lives to the right of us is named Bonnie, the woman to the left of us is named Paula.

Tuesday, Paula came to the house while I was talking to Diane on the phone.

The Dogs are going nuts in the background.
Fatme: “what’s going on ?”

Monk: “someone is here.”

Fatme: “who?”

Monk: “ I think it’s the lady next door…”

Fatme: “ Which one Bonnie or Paula?”

Monk: “to the left I can’t remember her name?”

The dogs are still going nuts

Fatme: “you mean Paula?”

Monk: “ do you know her name? I really can’t hear you that well”
             “RILEY !! LAYLA!!! SHUP UP!!”

Fatme: “her name is Paula.”

Monk: “shit I gotta go, I hope everything is alright, wish I remembered her name…”

Fatme: “love you babe, her name is Paula goodbye”

10 minutes later.

The dogs are totally silent.

Fatme: “ so, is everything cool with Paula? ”

Monk: “ Paula- huh, that’s her name. Yeah everything is cool, she was just letting us know
              That we lost some shingles off the roof…”

yeah, that's bummer.

My mountain bike is being serviced by the rebel alliance, having a new flux capacitor put on and a midichlorian detector added. I should totally be ready for some fun winter mtb rides.

As a result I had to pull out the old Gay UPS from the basement. The truth is I have been a recovered single speeder for three and a half years. I wouldn't call tonight a full on relapse, but I didn't want to love it, I didn't want the bike to feel as good and natural as it did...

I should have changed my stupid lock, I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second, you'd be back to bother me


Fucking bastard. That bike is awesome.

Great ride tonight snow trails kept me on the edge of destruction all night. The boys were kind enough to not drop me. Dennisbike set a tempo was very smooth...  Steve, Erick, Aaron, Benny da Jewlar, and Johnny W rounded out a nice group. A great way to end a week...


happy new years folks.


stay safe. if you're drinking don't drive, and if you're driving, don't drink


respect
fatmarc

A blog post about 15 movies with pictures that mean nothing to the story...

a couple of weeks back there was a thread on facebook talking about 15 movies that impacted you the most. I read them, and frankly was just too busy to sit down and hammer out my responses. So here's my stab at it.

Trav and Jake in the Spirit.

before we get started I need to explain that I look for 3 things in a movie:

1. something I can relate to
2. something that takes me away from life for a couple of hours
3. something that had lots of jackassery and stupid humor

to add this the rules said the first 15 that came to mind, so I kinda made my list and went back for commentary.

Dennisbike's butt

1. Star Wars (the first 3)- permeates everything
2. Breakfast Club- which one where you? I was clearly the princess
3. Some kind of Wonderful- first movie character that I felt like was my world
4. Forgetting Sarah Marshall- Mila Kunis went from cute to hot. Funny as hell too
5. Rachel's Wedding-movie captured what it's like to be in an alcoholic family. painful to watch.

Blake and Monk

6. Vision Quest- a movie about a high school wrestler? see rule 1
7. Bones Brigade Video Show- skate video that captured a life style I wanted, but didn't understand yet
8. Animal House- Jack Ass humor at it's best
9. Almost Famous- how can you not love a road trip movie
10. Big Fish- cry at the end every time; life is about your experiences and the stories you tell about them...

Monkey up they new climb along 273...

11. Caddy Shack- seriously the funniest move ever
12. Old School- more jack ass humor
13. 50 first dates- humor and a great date movie. I have a weakness for Drew Barrymore too
14. Roadhouse- this movie is a tractor beam, if it's on I'm watching it... Sam Elliot rules
15. Superbad- high school trying to get laid, and beer- perfect.

Jake and Allan the Cleaner

.

diane's bike out of the box...  I have lots of heavy parts in that box now.

respect
fatmarc

fear and loathing in heathrow

no idea who made this, but it's too good to not share...





respect
fatmarc

back in the arms of peaches...

"I used to have a thing for girls in white bikini's. Seeing you in your white skin suit killed that for me man."
- Peaches


So I forgot my cell phone the other day... Rushing to get out the door, I grabbed my camera, and not my phone. You know I'm not the most brutally intelligent guy in the world to start with and I swear everyday I seem to get a little more - stupid.

But I digress, when I finally got home from work and my ride, I came home to find some text messages from my buddy Jeffy. Jeffy was trying to catch up with me to find out where our ride was, and see if he could tag along... I finally gave him a call but missed him,  I had just finished riding and he was out riding.. I did talk to his mother however:
 
Fatmarc: "yo, jeffy texted me a couple of times, i left my phone at home today, everything cool?"

Lweb:" yeah, he wanted to the Benny ride with you guys, but didn't know when it started..."

Fatmarc: "good thing I forgot my phone..."

Lweb: "what you don't want to ride with my boy?"

Fatmarc: "nope, I love to ride with your boy, but it's the night before he's scheduled to leave for Europe, and I have a bad habit of landing on top of your boy when I crash.  If that happened tonight, that would be awful, I can't have that on my conscience."

we both laughed...

Saturday rode with Michigan Matt, K-man, and Peaches at FH.

Sunday Monkey and I met up with 37 or so fellow riders over at white clay. With Diane and Breyla-la on the front, Auer and I got dropped. Awesome. We finally found the group, and I got dropped again... That's all part of riding in a group of 40 people or so huh? good times...It was great to see some good folks for sure... fun day....


respect
fm

something about nothing

there's been a pile up on the 405...

I usually keep a bottle of water in the car this time of year. When I come out to the car, I'll find myself complaining about the cold, because I'm a cyclist and I like to complain, then I pick up the bottle and shake it.
Usually the bottle of water is still 100% fluid, and I say to myself:  "self,  what are you complaining for this bottle isn't even frozen, it's not that cold."  This morning when I came out, and started to complain about the cold, I shook the bottle, and  it was solid.

Benny Da Jewlar

Had a really fun mtb ride last night. My second time in as many weeks with this group. Different group of guys than  I usually ride with, but really fun. I'm enjoying my mtb in the off season...

The group has a different flow than the normal rides I do. Buddy and Peaches are two of my favorite people to mtb with... Our styles are so similar, we can ride so close to each other and fast, it's like a team time trial... It comes from years of riding together, and that's rad...

Steve

Riding with this group is a little different. All good guys, all amazing riders. But we all hit the park with a different take on loops, the flow of the group is still developing, we are figuring out what riding with each other is like... I think I still talk the most shit on the ride, but hell that's probably my role in the group...

Dennisbike- "that was 20 minutes more than I wanted 25 minutes ago"

Everyone loves John Williams

Anyway, it's been really fun...

respect
fm

new phone feature

dear readers,

So Friday morning, Diane and I were having an argument over the phone.

Suddenly I must said something over the line, because she hung up on me.

I called her back.

FM : " sweetie, I think we must have gotten disconnected..."

Monkey: "yup, I have our IT department looking at it, there's a new feature on my phone, it must have  kicked  in..."

FM : " what feature is that?"

Monkey : " the condescending ass hang up feature."

FM: "hows that work?"

Monkey: " When there's a condescending ass on the other line the phone disconnects."

FM: " point taken."

we both started laughing...

I think she is looking into the "jackass ejector seats" for the car as well.

respect

fatmarc

ars gratia artis

On cross…
Here’s the thing for me. I feel pretty torn.

For the longest time, cross was the sweet little thing. It was kinda counter culture, the racing was good, the scene was super cool. It was really grass rootsy. USAC didn’t pay much fuck attention to it, so it was bike racing for the people, by the people. In the different regions you had guys like Myserson, Stevenson, Bilodeau, Cline, Auer, Fries, Hebe, Sovek, Albright, McDaniel, Graham, Dugovich building the scene. We all went UCI because that was what we wanted to do to help grow the scene, and grow cross. UCI guaranteed some consistency in race courses, in rules, and on the whole Brought the level of cross up for everyone.

Yeah, we were UCI, but at the end of day, it was still very much grass roots. Regions working and learning from each other. It was people who love cross making it happen. Cross for the sake of cross if you will. It was coming up from the bottom, it was, fuck it, I’ll say it: kinda punk rock.

All of that appealed, and still appeals to me.

It reminded me of my skateboarding days, putting on demos, and weird contests in small parking lots… it was fun, it was cool to be building something and be a part of it.

Fast forward to today. Cross is a big deal. In 10 years of promoting Granogue Cross , we only hoped to break even, usually we lost money. (8 out of 10 years) We only made a small amount of money the past two years. Cross on the whole, makes money now. Money for bike companies, Money for USAC. It’s the golden child and is the fastest growing segment of the sport. Further, as a non  Olympic sport the output from USAC to the riders is very little. From where I sit, it feels like USAC is kind coming to the table now saying : “ thanks for grooming this for us, and we’ll take over from here now that there’s money to be made.”

Did you ever see Corvette Summer? It’s like that: Luke Skywalker builds up an old junker corvette, it gets stolen and then Luke Skywalker has to try and get it back. (never mind the hooker girlfriend)

That’s what it feels like right now. I want my fucking corvette back.

UCI… I feel like that was the deal we made with the devil. Sooner or later we’d have to pay our due. And now, now that we are no longer just those silly guys in America, they are coming for their due… They are holding us to all the standards, monetary and otherwise. I think we all kinda knew that would happen, even if we didn’t want to admit it.

USGP… they are benefitting from all the work of everyone in the regions, and putting on a good show. Problem is they are stepping on the throats of the people who built the foundation that cross rests on. It’s gone from being cooperation between series, to USGP saying “we’re driving the bus now… “ They also seem to get treated differently by USAC than the rest of the UCI promoters. It doesn’t leave a good taste in anyone’s mouth…

USAC… from where I stand, I would expect them to advocate for the UCI promoters in this country, to seek out clarification on rule enforcement, and in short to help foster the growth of the sport here, and support the promoters/regions/races that have worked so hard to get cross where it is today. From my perspective USAC fails on all fronts here. Should I be surprised?

All of that makes me want to say FUCK YOU to UCI and USAC. We had almost 1300 riders at the Granogue Weekend. Charm City was the same. Very frankly less than 10% of the riders were elite racers. What would Granogue look like if we went totally pirate? Our Mountain Bike race is pirate, and we get 600+ riders each year. It could happen. Cross for the People. That’s really always been the goal of Granogue, and I hope we never lose sight of that…

The other side of me is this. I have two friends going to Christmas Cross. I have a number of friends who have gone to worlds, and there are a number of folks that are on the cusp of taking that next step from the Mid Atlantic to National Prominence. If there are no races in the mid atlantic that offer USAC or UCI points, are we doing our region a disservice? Are we cutting our nose off despite our face, and denying the very people we sought to support by going UCI in the first place? Yeah, I think we are.

I want to see LVG go to worlds. I’m stoked that Jeffy and Gunnar will race in Europe this winter. I want to see Sam, Gunnar and Jeffy all go to worlds.

I want to see Bad Andy and Wes and the fucking Swiss Cheese get to race the best in the country here in the Mid Atlantic. I want to see those guys get recognized for the great work that they do.

I’ve been on the UCI national promoters list for a very short time. I am more of an observer than anything else. Perhaps I have been naïve, perhaps I was looking at the cross world through rose colored glasses. At the end of the day, what I read, what I saw just made me sad. This cross game is a business now.

It’s big money in someone’s pocket. Now that we’ve grown it, USAC wants their cut.

And so, I’m a little torn, and a lot sad.

That’s all I have to say about that…

respect
fatmarc

Monkey and Fatmarc Ride...

Thanks to everyone that came out for the Monkey and Fatmarc Ride today...
It was a wonderful tour of Fairhill. So much fun, and got to ride two sweet new trails. (score).

On the ride there was a lot of chatter about how people could win a dinner of 1/2 priced nachos and fish tacos with Fatmarc and Monkey. You go here and buy a raffle ticket and hope for the best. It could be your lucky day..

You could also win some other cool stuff, and frankly help send some good kids to Christmas Cross.













thanks for reading.

respect.
fatmarc

WIN FISH TACOS AND 1/2 PRICED NACHOES WITH ME AND MONKEY!

or other assorted cool stuff which can be found here.

Help these good and cool kids race at Christmas Cross....

Jeffy- my teammate for the Granogue TT.



Gunnar. My teammate and amazing kid.

 Aw hell, who are you kidding helping the kids? Help yourself,

we are talking fish tacos and 1/2 priced Nachos with ME and Monkey!

(and other cool stuff)

seriously, help the kids man, help the kids...

more info here if you are so inclined.

respect

fatmarc

Three Short Stories not about bike racing...

 I am not allowed to go into our local GNC with Diane.
It would seem that the kind man who owns/runs the place has a liking for my little monkey. He is always very friendly to her, and whenever she goes in without me, he gives her a big discount on whatever she is buying. We tested this premise a few times, and sure enough, if I'm present, no discount.

I am not allowed to go to GNC with Monkey anymore...

...

I was a the mall (ugh) with Monk today. She was in the bathroom and I was standing outside of that area waiting for her. There was the 25ish year old woman who had a lot of cleavage, and her low cut shirt was doing a poor job of containing said cleavage....  The young woman had a small child with her. She smiled at me, an I smiled back. innocent enough...

The small child had a bottle of water, which he threw down onto the ground.  The young lady smiled at me, and bent over to pick it up. I was trying to be a good guy so I look away, trying to avoid checking out the heaving cleavage that was tumbling out of her low cut shirt.
So I start to walk around a bit, still waiting for monkey to get out of hte bathroom. The young lady smiles at me again, and hands the bottle back to the young child, who proceeds to throw it on the ground again. She looks at me, I look away, she bends down to get the bottle...

Okay, I say to myself, clearly this is a little weird. I'm doing my best to not be the creepy old guy at the mall today, but seriously if she pulls this move again, I'm gonna have to check her out. Third time is the charm right?

So the young lady gives the bottle back to the kid, the kid throws it on the ground, she bends over to pick up the bottle, leaning in a direction that would give me a clear shot of her cleavage, --- when Monkey comes up and gives me a big hug. "Hey, Babe watcha doing?"
We start to walk away and I say with a smile, oh nothing, some girl was trying to get me to check out her cleavage I think...

...

A funny thing happened on the way to the MABRA champs today...

I walked out of the garage loading my bikes up, and noticed that Monkey had a flat tire.

I figured I'd be a good guy, I have a couple of minutes, I'll change the tire.

I pull the jack out, get the car up on the trusty Honda Jack; get the flat tire off and WHAMO!

The car falls off the jack. About this time I realize, that if i was smart, I would have moved the car to level 

ground and changed the tire. I give it the ole college try the second time, get the jack as high as it will go, and the spare still won't fit on the car. WHAMO! the car falls off the jack again....

Okay, I must need more power. Time is getting tight, but I charge off to Wallmart to buy a more powerful jack. Wallmart is an amazing place. Walmart at 8:00am on a Sunday morning in Elkton is really an amazing place. But I digress. I get the jack, I get home, I get the car up on the jack as high as it will go, and the tire won't fit still. Fuck.

Still hoping to make the race, I swallow my pride and call AAA. The AAA dude is super nice, uses my jack in addition to his jack with old 2x4's to get the car up high enough to get the spare tire on. He says to me " on the driveway which is on a hill, it was gonna be tough to get this high enough with just one jack."

Okay, I know he was just being nice, and trying to not make me feel like a dweeb for not being able to get the tire changed, but seriously I wouldn't have thought of the 2x4's that was the trick. AAA dude pulls out, and I do a quick time check: 10:00. 

Fuck, I'll never make the race. I'm pretty bummed. I love the MABRA champs, and feel like I had a good ride in me. I take my tubulars, and store them in the guest bedroom, and wrap up what has been a very fun cross season for me.

Not how I thought this would end, but what the hell... I went for a mtb ride with Monkey over at White Clay... Trails were nice...

thanks for reading.

respect

fatmarc

gratitude

I live a pretty awesome life.
I've worked very hard, but I also recognize I am truly lucky, and I am grateful for all I have.
I have a wonderful home, a great job, and simply a life I couldn't have imagined.

I am grateful for my family:
An Incredible wife who I love madly.
Two wonderfully crazy dogs.

A great family- 2 Amazing brothers with amazing wives. Parents that no one could ask for better. Thanks to you... (yes, I have 3 brothers, but one I'm not so grateful for at this point...)
A sister in law with a heart of gold, and a sense of humor to match it.

Outlaws, who I don't think like me but at least sort of understand where I'm coming from, and more importantly get that I make their daughter happy.
And lots of little nieces and nephews each with their own personality, and style. Each that I am so lucky to get to see and play with...

And this cycling game...

A few years ago Lweb said to me that her favorite thing about cycling is that you get to meet people from all walks of life, who otherwise you would never have contact with... Professors, Plumber, Electricians, General Contractors, Retailers, Sales Reps, Landscapers, Scientists, Republicans, Liberals, Hippies, Punk Rockers, Vegetarians, Omnivores, wrestlers...
you get it. I wish I had been smart enought to come up with that...

Anyway, I am grateful for all of them... All of you

I am also thankful for my Tauntaun.

Thanks for reading, hope you have a great day and weekend.

respect
fatmarc

Point Mongering...

Okay, I admit originally,  I didn't want to go to New York this weekend to race cross. There were two races just an hour south of me that I really like, and frankly Rockburn has always been one of my favorite race courses.
That being said, I missed 5 mac races this year (charm city x2- sick, Granogue x2-insane, and fairhill while racing CSI)...

The Festas also know as the couple that always puts beer in my hand were awesome this weekend.

With all that on the table, and frankly and eye to next season, Diane and I were fully committed to going to New York for the MAC Finals.

LVG-

Sitting here now, I have to tell you, I loved the weekend, and Diane and I are already planning on heading back to New York for next season... What an awesome weekend, Cheers Myles...

the Wulfkule Vettori Element Show....

The Bad Andy...

Myles is a good guy. I like what he brings to the series. I also understand his race is the outlier, and the fields while stacked with talent, and not nearly as deep as the normal MAC weekend. That's right bitches I was point mongering; because starting the 5th row next year is better than the 6th...
Saturday:
Course was a short lap, really fast and you didn't really need brakes on your bike. The barriers were in a awkward position. Not awkward like having sex in the back of a Volkswagen, but a weird location on the final road stretch.  Anyway, the race was really fun, just a little faster than I like. I came off a nice group with 3 laps to go (of 8... like I said short lap)... I spent the last three laps unsuccessfully trying to bring back Kelly Cline and Geoff House who were dangling off the front me. Good news is that my legs never felt good, and I had my best MAC result of the year, despite only finishing with 3 people behind me.

Saturday night:

Diane freaked out in the Hotel when Bad Kat said bed bugs, as luckily there were none. She was screeching and flapping, if was really funny.

Monkey's other nickname is danger scout. Danger Scout in full effect this weekend.

Then we went to a Mongolian grill with these guys:




 it totally was awesome, although Turkish beer reminds me a lot of coors light. (fail)...

Sunday:
Course backwards with a few interesting off camber sections and a couple of really fun corners. I got a killer start. Surprisingly I felt really good. In my head I began to think that finally this would be the race that things all come together. Each year, I feel like there is a race or two were I punch above my weight. I felt like this was going to be one of those days...


with three to go I was chasing hard trying to get to Kelly, and being chased by Long, Picallini, Wilson, and Kruger.  They make contact with me, and I assume the back spot in the group. We had a nice junior kid in the mix too, he tripped on the barriers, and I kinda plow into him falling off the group. I keep chasing for another lap, just dangling... Back to the barriers, and I get through and can't get clipped back in, I look up and just watch as the group rides away... finally I get clipped in, but it's done... Lowe chases me to the line...

Monkey didn't have her best stuff this weekend after taking sometime off to let her knee mellow out. She was going good, but just not sharp. She is just kinda fought through Saturday. Not her best ride she wasn't stoked, but I was proud of her moxy... Sunday she felt a little better, and completed her season chasing down two of her rivals on the final two laps and taking a spring finish against Natalie from Bike Therapy.  That was a pretty sweet way to end the season ...


I was proud of Monkey because once her knee flared up, it would have been easy to call it a year, I was proud she threw it out there one more time.... Good on her... She did 17 races this fall, after the doctor's
told her in January she wouldn't be able to race this season at all... Moxy... my baby has moxy...

it was a good weekend of racing...

bad kat, Monkey and Pricilla Flying the flag...

Auer sent us a sweet C3/twenty 20 flag which we all took turns at waving at each other during the races. Bob Lawrence, Katie's father, promised I'd go to bat for as he waived it at her, kat and monkey  during their races... Bad Kat did a great job waiving it at me and screaming at me during the race...





Meatball, who wrapped up his season on Saturday commented during his ride in the elite race, "my legs feel like cheeseburgers..." LOVE that guy.

Diane and I shared the hotel with Bad Kate and Bad Andy- I didn't inadvertently flash them this weekend. So at least I have that going on...

Playoff Beard.

The Dogfish Head Theobroma is excellent- thank you for the donation Big Time Glenn Turner...
respect.
fatmarc