"I want to jump into a kiddie pool on acid, and have Craig Kilborne wrap me in a towel. Just like in Almost Famous. "

Quick Notes;

1. Was on the road for 2.5 hours today. I'm totally fried, but my first week of base is in the books. Yeah Me ! The group was tough, and most of the guys are on their last weeks of base and chopping at the bit to get into intensity. Mike K, Buddy, Matt, Single Speed Dan, Ted Logic, Charlie lead me around. For the bulk of the ride I wedged myself in the middle of Buddy and Matt, trying to stay out of the wind, and near the front. On the two sizable climbs of note I was off like a prom dress. Charlie kindly provided me some draft up the one. Some of the guys were talking about heading out to Kuhn's for some of his training races. Despite the lure and fun of Kuhn's course, in my head I was thinking " didn't you just see how I rode? Do I look like someone who should be dreaming of racing a bike today?" "I'm not sure I'm not in some kind of Lycra law violation or something." regardless, a great ride, and with more snow on the way, I am really happy with today's ride. Oh yeah, Single Speed Dan is 2 for 2 on rides this weekend as he snapped his seat rails about a mile from the end of the ride. Poor kid.

2. I kinda fell off of my fatmarc diet deluxe plan this weekend. It started Thursday night with a large broccoli pizza, continued Saturday morning polishing off an Iron Hill Brewery Growler, and then at a party last night where I had 2 sizable helpings of Veggie Lasagna. Yikes. I have to admit, it was all good eats. A man can not live on oatmeal and water alone. For the record, pizza was excellent and from Rosa's, beer top notch , lasagna wasn't the best, but I was on a roll, what the hell.

3. Speaking of hell, I was back in the 7th layer of hell today. Yup, Jo Ann Fabrics. More Anne Murray, more Linda Rhondstadt. It's seems since Slick Rick is taking up quilting as a new hobby, that Diane wanted to get some more supplies so she will have enough on hand for him. Although I refrained myself from biting anyone's head off, we were pleasantly served by a woman who looked like she hasn't slept in 3 days, and spoke with a deep husky, wannabe Betty Davis speaking tone. "# 43? Can I help # 43 ? " I swear each time I walk in that place I'm closer to the edge.

4. More snow in the forecast, so bundle up. Anyone want to shovel my driveway? I'll give you $20. really.

Respect
fatmarc

Risk Reward Principle

This time last year I was working in a brokerage firm. One of the first things they taught me was the principle of risk and reward. The principle goes like this:

The greater the risk, the greater the opportunity for gain or loss.

Being that I was supposed to work today, but was given a reprieve, I was having a win fall. The question was how would I invest my win fall?

The safe and conservative bet was to hit one of the many local road rides going on today.
Riding with Super Tri Guy Mark, or The FSVS cat 4 squad, or even the Queen B, would have all been safe bets. You'd know what you get, 3 hours on the road, at varied paces, guaranteed return on your investment. Safe like a government backed bond.

Today, however, I wanted to ride my mountain bike. I found I wasn't alone. This however was a much greater risk. I wanted 3 hours on the bike today. I hoped to get it at Fair Hill. The upside of this investment was potentially a great snow ride in some of the sweetest single track around. The potential loss was that a group of folks could find the trails too wet, or too buried in snow to be ridable. Either way would mean, some time on the road on single speeds. Clearly, single speed mountain bikes, where not meant for the road, and this would be seen as a loss of investment, and potential bankruptcy.

Amazing how Fish Eye makes a bad Picture look semi-cool...

We rolled out of my place and entered the park at Gallagher. We rolled through 5 bridges. The trails were not touched by man kind since the snow fall, but the deer, rabbits, and fox had made good use of the trails. Slick Rick had suggested that I do some power work during my base phase, and I think today qualified. We plowed our way through south bridge and then south park. As Maestro I made the executive decision that Kenny's revenge may be too brutal, and thus we skipped it. About an 1:10 into the ride we experienced a bear market (a down trending market), as my back felt a little balled up. The concerned me a little, and was directly related to the power needed to move through the snow. I adjusted the ride route accordingly, and our new investment plan helped the market become bullish again (up trending market). We traversed the fire roads of Fairhill, which demanded far less power and allowed us to carry more momentum.

As we climbed towards the top of the park, near the fairgrounds, Single Speed Dan came up upon the cursed for Single Speed Dan bridge. As our group crested the peak of the bridge, he sheared off the final of 4 chain ring bolts and with a poignant ping, proceeded to shoot his front chain ring off. (see bikesandbeer blog to the right for a great picture). I laughed, as this bridge was the exact place where on a ride with Andrew and I last summer, His chain imploded. Single Speed Dan will forever approach this bridge with hesitation and fear. He better hope they don't finish the Fairhill race at the fairgrounds again!

Brian sans blue tights...

Although it looked like our investment had gone bankrupt, this was actually my favorite part of the ride, as in a weird pace line sort of way, we each took turns pushing the now drivetrainless Single Speed Dan home. A person would go the front, push for awhile, get tired, roll to the back, and the next in line would pull up and take a push of Single Speed Dan.

Following the ride, Matt, SS Dan, and Buddy helped me polish off a Growler of Anvil Ale, and we enjoyed watching a DVD of the world's greatest road crashes. Truly some brutal footage. Diane showed the quilt she was making, and Matt asked if she was gonna help Slick Rick with his quilting, of course she agreed.

As for the return on our investment, despite not getting all the time I wanted in today, I have to say our investment paid dividends well ahead of the Dow Jones average for today. Perhaps not as strong as say a .com IPO in the late 90's but still the return on our investment was almost 2 good hours of riding trails, hanging with good friends, getting to admire Brian's Blue Jersey and being thankful that he didn't have matching tights today. If that's not a dividend, then I don't know what is.

respect

fatmarc

Cutting through the envelope of darkness...

I had my first night ride on the road of my life tonight. Yeah, I've ridden around town at night, hell Diane and I would ride home from Deer Park after nights of drinking, but never have I done an organized road ride at night. It was a great ride. It was freaky, terrifying, fast and well fun as hell.

Mark, the super tri guy hero, lead with me riding closely second wheel, Amy rode on my wheel. We were all lit up like some kind of circus train with blinky lights and reflective clothing, it truly was something to be seen. We left from Peoples Plaza and headed out around locust point, and Chesapeake City. In all we did a little over 30 miles. Despite the fact that I have probably ridden hundreds, maybe thousands of miles on these roads the entire time I felt like we were foraging into the black abyss, and I was almost completely lost. Here's a People World Championship tip, Mark is a great wheel to sit behind. I sucked his wheel like it was the last wheel on earth. As ride leader he did a great job keeping Amy and I abreast of any potential hazards. Traffic was light. It was good.

As we cut through the night I wondered if folks knew what we were, or if they would report us to the UFO police as UFO's. Heading out to Locust point, Mark warned the bridge will be rough. I was a little worried as 2 weeks earlier on a similar loop the bridge was out. We hit the bridge at I guess 20 mph or so only to find that it wasn't paved at all, but gravel. Luckily I had switched my hand to the tops, and got my weight back. I drifted probably 2 feet to the right, almost took out Amy, but we all rolled out cleanly. Great mountain biker huh ? Nothing like riding through gravel in the dark, at 20 mph on a 25 mm tire. Rock and roll.

awful picture of Amy, I tried to lighten it, and make her more visible. my camera sucks.

Through Chesapeake City Mark wandered left, as if out of respect, to offer me an opportunity to take a pull. I thought for a second and the voice of Marcellus Wallace came to mind:

"The night of the ride, you may feel a slight sting; you may want to take a pull at the front. That's pride fucking with you. Fuck pride. Pride only hurts, it never helps."

I slipped back behind Mark.

As we turned the corner and headed for home, my heart almost stopped as Mark announced "pick it up we're gonna get the light" as we raced for the route 896 light. I was tired, there was not too much left to pick up. Luckily a small increase in speed got us through the intersection safely and smoothly.

As the ride came to a close I thanked both Mark and Amy for allowing me to ride. I apologized to Amy for not being a steady wheel. I never felt like I got comfortable back there, and never felt like I was a good wheel to even draft off of, I was too focused on the abyss of darkness surrounding me. Like I said before I was kinda freaked out. Anyway it was a great ride, and I look forward to making it again next week.

I got this email from my friend Paul :

Keith G Leading the way... I was gonna put a soft picture of Keith's face or something, but I figured I'd show you keith ripping instead...

The work of the Lance Armstrong foundation has just become much more meaningful to me now that I've learned one of our family members is facing the same disease that Lance himself faced in 1996. Yesterday, Keith G underwent surgery where a testicular tumor was removed. While the surgery was successful, Keith's doctor is fairly certain that the tumor is cancerous and prescribed further tests to confirm the cancer and determine if it has spread to other parts of his body. Depending upon the results, Keith might have to endure radiation treatment, chemotherapy, or both in the coming weeks. He should know more by the end of this week, and I'll pass on the news as it comes in. In the meantime, wear yellow, and ride a mile for Keith.

Keith G is a very good man. Someone I hold in highest regards as a human being. The fact that he is very proficient as a cyclist is a bonus. Keith’s wife and daughter are wonderful. If you pray, please keep them in your prayers. If you don’t please keep them in your thoughts, wish them well, wish them great Karma. Last Sunday I got to ride with Keith, some of my best rides have been with him. Many of my best rides with him are yet to come. God Speed Keith.

I'm Ken Jennings Bitch !

Andrew Helps Jeff (jebbager) with a girl scout cookie... from our ride a couple weeks ago.

So I get done my workout yesterday, run upstairs, take a quick shower. Scrub myself with all the freaking flowery shower gel my wife has. Wash my hair, no conditioner, (it makes me look too greasy). I dry off, put on some deodorant, brush my teeth , and get dressed. I head down to the computer to do some quick surfing.
As sit at the computer, I get a whiff of something awful. I mean, bad sub shop, high school wrestlers, old bad milk awful. I think to myself, "self you stink. I mean real bad, how can this be you just cleaned up?"

I do a quick pit check, they smell fine, the old hold your hand over your mouth trick, nope not my breath. " I don't think it's me, It can't be me." I run into the kitchen, I'm still smelling it. It's like funky feet, like stagnate water, like cabbage. No matter were I go, I can't shake the stink, but I'm sure it's not me.

I walk out to see Diane. I ask "honey, do I stink?" She quickly replies, "no" but he does. Diane pointing to my beloved Riley. I crouched down, and sure enough, the malodorous driver of my nasal discontent was my favorite male dog in the world, Riley. With a sense of relief that this wasn't me stinking up the house, I direct riley up stairs, "common on buddy it's bath time..."

Creamy marshmallow Thighs...

Day 2 of base, and more wonderful weather. Went to the gym yesterday and hit a recumbent bike for 45 minutes. That sucked, worse of all it made my back sore. Mental note, Gym bikes suck, and no matter how much you try to do some "secret squirrel training " by riding one, it never really satisfies.

On the trainer this morning I noticed my legs. As a normal ego manic cyclist, I always thought my legs looked pretty strong, you know for a hack, single speeder, medium sized fish in a small pond, if you know what I mean. But this morning as I spun away on the trainer all I could think about was the Stay Puft marshmallow man. That's what my thighs reminded me off. Probably doesn't help that my thighs haven't seen daylight in 6 months...

Any way, I meet with Slick Rick tonight to look at my season plan. He had some good ideas when we talked Sunday. I'm very excited. Been dieting pretty hard to get back to my fatmarc climbing weight, so no really good burritos lately, although I have been dreaming about them. Saturday I had a very good buffalo chicken wrap from the grasshopper cafe... yeah not only was I not riding I was eating badly. A wrap isn't quite a burrito, but maybe distant cousins ? They put celery on it which is the devil's food, otherwise it was top notch.

King of the Day.

Buddy on his Ti-Desalvo and carbon fork was unstoppable today...

Had a great ride at white clay today. The combination of a great group, and frankly just being hungry to be back in the woods, added up for a great ride. This was my first ride of the week, with getting shots and pussying out yesterday, I had a ton of fun, and frankly was really pleased with how I rode. Look I'm no where near being in shape, but over the past 3 weeks, I've been trying to get some time in the saddle, just so I wouldn't feel so retarded when I rode. Today was the pay off for some of the work. It was good. And tomorrow, I start my base. Yeah boy, good to be training again...

Buddy was freaking riding out of his mind today. He is coming out of his base phase and really has great fitness. As he begins to fine tune, I expect he's gonna make a big impact. Proud of the work he has put in...

Early on Todd and Buddy were pushing it hard at the front. Although I would have loved to see how that played out, it would have likely meant a split in the group. Todd was not feeling so social and attacked off the front and away. We caught him as he was changing a flat. Todd exclaimed, "Don't wait for me; I wasn't waiting for you." Hmm, someone needed some more sugar in their coffee this morning. Back in the parking lot all was good.

The group included:

Buddy, Todd (briefly), Matt T, Single Speed Dan, Fuzzy, Slick Rick the ruler, Biddle (ty domi of cross), the return of kurtee, Keith G (bobby's boy), Alan the cleaner, Andrew Mc, Ted (as in Ted Logic), and our course yours truly. It was company I pleased to be with , and please to be able to hang with on the bike.

Rode a new climb, the border trail that I hadn't ridden before. We found Kurtee today too. Appearantly he has been riding up and down the border trail climb because he flew up this section. I almost tackled him as he raced by Fuzzy and I, spinning his little 135lb body up the hill. That new climb has some potential, solid climb with 3 sections that kick up ever so nicely. The pay off on the other side is almost too good to be true. I think a lot of folks avoid this side of the park because the hill is long and tough. The trails were pristine.

Towards the end of the ride there was a new stunt, which I didn't check out before riding. I just followed Matt T into it. It was a huge log suspended over a couple of other logs that had been bench cut. There is an 8 inch wide ramp to get you on top of the log. Pretty simple stuff. However, this is a work in progress and as I came to the end of the log I realized there was a 2 ft drop on the other side, with no ramp, not even a log to ride down. Now I've done things like this before but in this instance, I grabbed hand fulls of brake, and came to a quick stop. I almost toppled Fuzzy off of the log. Sorry Fuzzy. Discretion is the better part of valor, and today I was all about valor.

It was good to see Alan the Cleaner again I haven't ridden with him in a while. He's coaching his son's indoor soccer team, and it sounds like they are kicking serious ass.

Keith G's new 29er Curtlo... Sweet...

"what gear are you running Fuz ? "
"Old man gear"
"what's that ?"
"well for every 5 lbs you gain, you get at least one tooth in the back"
classic.

For the love of Jebbagger...

My buddy Jeff (jebbagger) says What the Frig? (He would never drop the F-bomb.) The trails at White Clay were is awful shape. A little rant, and I recognize that I'm preaching to the choir here. I don't understand why people can't understand why you can't ride the trails when they are wet. More importantly if they are soft enough that you are rutting them, why don't they have enough brain power to get the frig off the trails. Today was the first time I was able to ride trails in over a month, I left the house by 6:30 am and was on the trail at 7:00. By 9:30 sections of the trail started to thaw, and I was out of there. How can people not understand that. White Clay is the crown jewel of our trail system, but still idiots tramp through there when it is soft. This is the one issue where Mr. Bartoo hurt himself by making trails that are so flowing and user friendly. If there were some big freaking hills then maybe the Morons that are fing up the trails would go else where. Make a user friendly trail, and folks who maybe don't have a clue use the trail when they shouldn't. I hope to god that is the case, and not riders that know better but are so self important they figure it the rules don't apply to them. I figure folks want to ride somewhere easy, so they ride white clay, but in process they ruin the trails for everyone else.

Seriously, I'm not a violent man, but I feel like putting a fist in someone's face over this. That would be bad, because then I'd get my ass kicked. But I'd get the first shot.

When we lose this system we will have no one but ourselves to blame.

Bartoo and Chip have done great work, a while back I know Chip was talking about having the trails closed from 10:00 am on in the winter, to avoid thaw damage. This is a good idea. Although I admit, how the frig (no f-bombs associated with jebbager) can you not know it's wrong to ride trails when you are rutting them out. Bill Short of the DTS, said it best. If you aren't willing to walk into your front yard with a brand new pair of white high tops on. You shouldn't be on the trails. I get really pissed when I think about the a-holes out there that don't care and could ruin a great system for everyone that is trying to do it right. Fuckers. (ear muffs Jeb, I couldn't hold back anymore.)

fm

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet REBA...

I admit it looks a little odd. Aestheically I have really grown attached to the rigid fork. However, considering my recent back issues, I want one of my Spots to have suspension. The Marzocchi fork I have was a big disappointment, although I haven't ridden this yet, just in the parking lot and jumping curbs it far exceeded my Marzocchi experience. BTW I have a 29er Marathon Marzocchi fork for sale...

Pop Lock technology allows you to lock the fork out for climbing, and turn it on for decending action or for those rough sections that might jar your bones. No need to take your hands off the bar ! I also heard it makes you a good break dancer. I'll have to turn that switch on next time I'm in the club.

Thanks to Dwayne and Howard at Newark BL for taking care of me. As you know, the Reba 29ers are only available from Fisher dealers this year, they hooked me up, and set it up no sweat. Thanks guys... Once I get some trail time, I'll give some more feedback on the fork. Like the guy who has been riding rigid for 2 years, knows anything about suspension.

Needles, Super Tri Guy Mark, 7th Level of Hell and movie reviews.

Got 3 needles in my spine Tuesday, made the pain go down a bit although I am still sore in a better but different kind way. Can’t ride until the weekend. We’ll see how I feel then. I am really stiff today.

Heading out to Jo Ann Fabrics with my wife tonight we passed Mark W. You know Mark the Super Tri Guy. Mark was headed out for a loop by himself. He is such a monster, and freaking cool too. Next week, I’m gonna hook up with him for one of his rides. Yeah, he’ll kick my ass, but it doesn’t look like we’ll be in the woods for a while, and he is just fun to ride with him. He talks great smack. Funny, and fast, And hell, riding behind him is like drafting a school bus. Getting your ass kicked isn’t so bad when you can laugh the entire time.

You know how Dante had 7 levels of hell in his book “Dante’s Inferno” ? Well Jo Ann Fabrics is the highest level in my own personal hell. You go into this store, and everyone looks so cheerful with their little creative smiles, and quilting clubs, but deep down there’s something seedy going on for sure. I mean as you get fabric cut, they are all busting each other for dress code violations. “where’s your collar” “did you see her wearing a sleeveless shirt, hussy…” Wait, take a step back. How painful is it is picking out fabrics. Are you kidding me, it was like Chinese water torture. If Diane wasn’t such a good sport it wouldn’t have been bearable at all. And the music, only the best as you are painfully serenaded by Anne Murry, Hewey Lewis, and the Fabulous T-Birds “tough enough” Finally, just when I thought I had a reprieve, we make it to the check out line, second to a chubby kid trying to buy some candy, only he doesn’t have enough money. The cashier is trying to hook the kid up, but can’t figure out how cut him a deal. She keeps saying “I can’t get it to go for 75 cents,” which is what the kid had, “only 94 cents” WTF, I was ready to give the damn kid a quarter out of my pocket. Finally, she gets chubby cheeks out of the store, and come to find out, all of our fabric that was already rung up, was rung up incorrectly, so of course She has to run back to the fabric table and have it all rung up again. I swear I was standing by the register with all our stuff, just looking at the door. I swear I could have made it. 15 steps to freedom man, 15 steeps… However, patience took over and I waited the freaking 20 minutes and finally we paid. The cashier was very nice and gave us some advance coupons for the sale this weekend. Let me say this. If I’m in that store this weekend I’m gonna be famous for sure. You’re gonna see me on every news station in the world as “man who kills every living being in fabric store with bare hands…”

Movie Reviews :

Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind- good, no character that is totally lovable, but I liked how as the movie progressed I felt differently about the characters. At first I hated the Kate Winslette character, I was glad that they had broken up, but by the end I was hoping that they stay together, and I really liked her. Also kinda begged with the question that if 2 people are destined to be together can you really do anything to keep them apart? Best benefit of the movie was that it really started a good conversation between Diane and I. What if you could remove your experiences that were bad from your memory? How would that change you?

Mean Girls- typical high school everyone hates and loves the queen of the in crowd bitch movie. It was okay, some funny parts but nothing to write home about. Lindsey Lohan is cute, and I guess at lot of guys for her. I’m not sure I see it, past the large boobs, she looks kinda plain. I mean of teen idols, I’m not sure she’s my favorite. The fact that she has an album out “MAKES ME WANNNA SCREEEAAAMMM !” (yes I know that song is Ashely, but really what is the difference? ) Anyway, Tina Fey is a side character but to me is by far the funniest person in the movie, steals every scene she is in. Tim Meadows does a nice job too.

Saved- interesting contrast to Mean girls. Basically the same premise only set at a Christian school. Mandy Moore, who I do think is all that, is in the role of the queen of all. Not a knock on born again Christians, but there does seem to be a streak of “I’m more godly than you” that comes out this sect of Christianity, also tends to be a lot of hypocrisy too. Macaulay McCulkin was really good in this. I preferred this to Mean Girls. I guess it had more punch, and took a different angle on the old high school clique movie. Asked some good God questions too. Thought provoking, and entertaining, the idea of religoning the gay out of someone really makes me laugh.

Harold and Kumar go to White Castle- Great picture depicting the plight of a young Asian and Indian man struggling to make it in a white dominated America. Yeah right, this movie was about pot. This genre invented by cheech and chong evolves yet again in this soon to be cult classic. Yeah they sling a little white guilt around, which was pretty funny, but lots of good one liners, pot jokes, and of course a road trip. You know what a sucker I am for a road trip movie. Battle Shits rules too…

I, Robot- if you like the Matrix series, or the first 2 Terminators this one fits right in and is a no brainer. Diane asked why everything in the future is stainless steel? Yeah, okay that was a little cliché, but still the movie was very solid. Kind of twist ending that I should have seen, but never did. Well done, Will Smith is good, still pretty buff from Ali. Fun fighting scenes. Very entertaining… I never read the book; I wonder how close it is to the movie… Anybody? Bueler?

respect
fatmarc

MISSING: HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN ?

NAME: Kurt
LAST INITIAL : M
NICK NAME : KURTEE
DESCRIPTION: 5"5'. zero% body fat, 26 inch pythons, and a chest that any body builder would have pride in. One of the areas best all around riders. Brings vast experience and success in 'cross, road and moutainbiking. Is the guy serving "whine and cheese" before every ride but is always with the lead group at the end. Boyish looks and charm, I once witnessed this man walk up to a woman in a grocery store, kiss her, talk to her for 10 minutes, and as we walked away comment "I can't remember her name." classic...
LAST SEEN: In a heated yoga class where the ratio is 40 women to 1 man. Heated spin classes at the Y; similar gender ratios..
IF FOUND: please direct towards the nearest group ride, or henry's bicycle shop, or to www.fatmarc.com

respect
fatmarc

kurt where are you ? 

carol brady teaches a mean lesson in karma...

How could you not trust these faces ?

I came home from my Sunday afternoon ride to find my lovely wife, Diane, taking a nap on the couch. I slipped out of my lycra, cleaned up and laid down on the bed. I was whooped and was very happy to get a few seconds to sit perfectly still.

My new pup, Layla, you know like the Clapton song, hops on the bed with a tennis ball in her mouth. The tennis ball has clearly seen better days. It was still green, but definitely had hints of brown, which I'll hope were mud. Layla dropped the ball on my stomach, and huffed at me. Wagging her tail she barked, encouraging me to throw the ball.

To tell the truth, I just wanted to go to sleep, but Layla was relentless, so I chucked the ball half hearted, out the bedroom doorway, over the banister and down the stairs. Riley, my other dog must have been coming up the stairs, because he charged up the stairs with the ball in his mouth. The dogs raced into the bed room, jumped on the bed and planted the ball on my stomach, ready for another throw.

Now, my first thoughts jumped back to the Brady Bunch. That's right, you know the one, the one where Peter was playing ball in the house and broke the vase. So I admit, my first instinct was to listen to Carol Brady's nagging voice and "don't play ball in the house" but... Riley and Layla barked at me, as if to say, "common man, it'll make you feel good." " all the cool kids are doing it", "the first time is free, just do it man..." I swirled with energy and in my head, yelled "f- you Carol Brady, I'm playing ball in the house! "

And so I started the routine. I picked up the slimy ball, fired it out the bedroom doorway, over the banister and down the stairs. My dogs launched themselves off of the bed, and then down the stairs chasing the green slimy ball of joy. They'd race back up the stairs, charge back in to bed, and gently place the ball back on my stomach. Quickly they'd bark, as if to say " common man, just one more hit, take just one more hit"

Boy did I , over and over, all from the comforts of my bed, laying on my back I threw the ball, out the door, over the banister, and down the stairs. And my boys, my dogs, they chased it like there was no tomorrow. What did Carol Brady know? I’ve got a lamp down there but as long as you have skill, and man for guys lying on their back throwing a slimy tennis ball, I’ve got mad skills. Carol Brady don’t know shit, if you’re smart you CAN play ball in the house.

After about 45 minutes of this, my pups, they were tired. However, more important in bringing this activity to a halt was that the ball had become less of a muddy tennis ball, and more of a slimy, saliva covered, slushy ball. I knew that when my hand felt like I sneezed in it, and my boy’s tongues were dragging the ground, it was time to call it quits.

Just then, Diane wakes up and I hear her call me. " Honey, come downstairs" For me this experience of throwing the ball out the doorway, over the banister and down the stairs all while laying prone on my backside was very peaceful and recuperative. I jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs. I noticed my pups; they stayed up stairs for some reason. As I walked down the stairs, with horror I looked at the wall that runs along the stairwell.

It was covered with tennis ball sized muddy, slimy, saliva covered marks. The wall that was formerly white was now polka dotted with slime. "god damn it, Ms. Brady was right!" I screamed. Diane asks "what?" as she turns the corner to see my handiwork. She starts laughing at me, I try to explain " honey, I was throwing the ball out the door, over the banister, and down the stairs" She continues " and apparently off the wall..."

A half hour later and two Mr. Clean Stain Removing Sponges later, I am happy to report that brown polka dotted wall, is once again white. Layla and Riley did not help clean up the mess. Somewhere Carol Brady is having the last laugh here. Karma, like Ms. Brady, can be a real bitch.

respect
fatmarc

Jumanji

One of the things I love about this time of the year, is how excited I am to ride. The passion is almost overflowing. Sometimes, I’m so excited for a ride that I can’t sleep the night before. It’s like a little kid with Christmas. Last night was one of those nights. I was up every couple of hours looking at the clock. 2am, 4 am, 5:30am… I was ready to rock…

However, this morning when I jumped out of bed, my body reminded me somewhat abruptly that I have started training a little later than usual, and I am still nursing an injury. Recognize this isn't the first time this has happened since I started trying to ride again. Usually I pop a couple of Advil, and rock out. However, this week, I have a procedure on my back. That's a nice way of saying that there gonna stick some big needles in my back with the hope of finding out what the hell my issue is and hopefully, a little cortisone that will help get me back to 100%... Pre-procedure instructions state no ibuprophen for the week prior to the injections. So I called Buddy and I bailed out. I was nervous about another long effort, and I knew there would be hills. Yeah, I'm really not doing so well with hills just yet.

Go ahead and say it, "You're a punk." "you punked out."
Yup, I'm a big ole wimp. What can I say, I suck, sorry kids.

So instead the wife and I headed into town, and got brunch. She went with French Toast, I had a breakfast quesadilla. The quesadilla had eggs, cheese, sausage and this really good salsa. It also came with some blazing potatoes. Kate's does a fine job of brunch for sure.

Feeling fat and lazy I hit LWeb's afternoon ride expecting and easy flat ride.
I was wrong. We rode the hills from hell in reverse basically. With the exception of one
45 second stretch where I half wheel helled Andrew, I felt pretty much like a beat puppy.

All in all a good ride, 2 more hours on the bike, some good climbing, and a great afternoon with some friends.

My favorite part of the ride, when I could catch my breath, was riding with my buddy Jeff (jebbagger) he was on a cross bike too. So both our bikes sounded like some kind of alien generator as the knobs rolled on the pavement. In the last mile we were climbing back up to the Brian and LWeb's place when I looked over at Jebbagger. He was climbing past me with great speed and fury. Jeff had his jersey unzipped all the way euro style. Out of the saddle, Jeff was sprinting up the hill with great enthusiasm. He came by me and just looked up enough to make eye contact. I think he just gave me a "lance look back" before closing me out for the day. If he was wearing Brikos sunglasses, I would have thought Pantoni himself was dropping me. Someday when that kid is famous, I'm gonna remind him of this ride.

It was a good day, a good day for sure.

Respect
Fatmarc

Tour De Fatmarc...

folks start to gather for the ride. Yeah I know the picture sucks, my batteries died and I missed out any chances to get good pictures.

In an effort of pure self preservation, I convinced everyone to ride from my house this morning versus the previous week’s route of the Tour De Chester. I like when rides leave from my house. I get up, yawn, let the dogs out, put on my tights, and my friends start showing up. This morning Ted and Buddy were the first to arrive, they came in we talked a little smack. It was great.

Big ole Group today and I’m gonna hope I don’t miss anyone:

Ted, Tom, Buddy, Dennis S, Freakishly strong Bryant, Slick Rick the Ruler, LWeb, Brian, Single Speed Dan, Justin T, James A, Biddle (Tie Domi of cross), Rock Star Henry T., Keith G (bobby’s boy), Fitzy and Andrew Mc

We had 2 other riders, Matt, who stopped in to say hello and then had to hit it, and Mike C, who forgot his shoes.

The ride was solid base pace. With the exception of one peppy section along the C&D Canal. Everyone was well behaved. The peppy section was fun. We had a big ole Tail wind and everyone was feeling the momentum. The McDaniel Boys, Ted and Tom attacked first and started doing slalom around the painted lines on the road. Slick Rick rolled up along side me and said, “hey electrical taped handle bar guy lets not waste a tail wind!” So we threw down a little attack. I quickly realized how little attack I had. Just as things started to settle down a bit, Biddle (the Tie Domi of Cross), put in a nice effort that very few, (buddy, rock star Henry, freakishly strong Bryant, single speed Dan, and Slick Rick) could counter.

We grouped after this section and rode together through Delaware city. Then the fun part of the ride started. Basically, we had to fight home into the head wind. With Ride Den Mother Tom helping to keep our line flowing, we rode tight formation home, with everyone sharing the workload. The head wind was brutal and could have been really painful, but alas we worked together and it was only a little painful. All in all we scored 3 hours and 30 minutes. Just what the doctor ordered.

Quick Notes:
only bad part about a ride leaving my driveway is that you miss out on the extra miles you can pick up riding to and from a ride.

Another benefit of riding from the house is that all the guys helped Diane unload the car as she was returning from grocery shopping. Thanks Buddy, Ted, Dennis and the freakishly strong Bryant. We all hung out for a bit after the ride exhausted. Diane liked how we all had great wind burned faces. Oh the joys of a headwind.

We found a cell phone during the ride. Slick Rick picked it up. Through out the ride it would ring in his back jersey pocket. If you are missing your phone and you were on Pleasant Valley road in the last 24hrs, give slick Rick a call, he has it.

Biddle (Tie Domi of Cross) was talking about putting a 24hr team together. I have mad respect for Biddle (Tie Domi of Cross), and I was really stoked he asked me to rock with the team. For the record if all goes as planned it would be Dan the man, Biddle (Tie Domi of Cross), Slick Rick and me. This could be a lot of fun

Speaking of endurance races, I got a teammate for the 12 hours of Lodi farms, and she wants to do a duo, I’m down with that. LWeb from IF, one of my favorite people in the world and I are gonna rock it.

Speaking of endurances races part duex. Team for West Virginia is still coming together nicely. Now if I can just remember how to ride a bike.

Went out to dinner with my brother Byran and his wife Tab last night. I had a catfish wrap with Jack cheese. It was really good. We tried to go to Brandwine Brewing Co, but they were closed. I mean forever, boarded up, that was a bummer but we ended up at Cromwell’s, which was a bit more hoity toighy, but damn tasty.

Diane and I hit Don Pablos today, I had a fajita salad. Kinda vanilla, but after the ride, it was great.

Rented more movies today. We got Mean Girls, Saved, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind, and Harold & Kumar go to White Castle. Reviews to follow.

Rode a Fisher RIG today. They are pretty nice, you know if you like an affordable bike, that is purple and as I see it's major down fall aluminum. I was really looking at the Reba fork. Local shop has one in for me, and I like it, I want it, but I'm not sure if I can get past the whole suspension thing. I've been rocking rigid for a while, and as much as I love the fork, I couldn't get myself to plunk down the money for it today. At the last second, I was like, I have to think about this... Thank god the shop is cool... Reba or Rigid, how would you go?

Respect
fatmarc

my buddy Karl sent me this quote today.
I thought it was bad ass.
I hope you do too :

From Peter Winnen Two time Alpe D'Huez winner.

"The moment you get rational in a bike race is the moment you lose your power. I also think that to achieve something,some destruction is necessary. Either you must destroy ideas or the barriers of your own body. Achievement rarely occurs without some destruction. In a bike race you destroy what you think you can do, and discover that you can do more."

worth a thought...

5 Movies, No Stairway Rule, and Riding with Karen B.

Look, I said no stairway and I meant it...

1. Big Fish- an instant classic for me. probably among my top 5 favorite movies. Seriously. I balled my eyes out. I starting crying at the end and I couldn't stop. The father-son stuff was good, but I don't think that's what got me. It was much more about the father and his philosophy of story telling. Personally, that hit some cord with me. Somewhere along the line, someone told me that life is the sum of your experiences and the stories you tell. For me, maybe one of the reasons I love my blog is that it gives me a forum to share my experiences, to tell my stories. My brother once said to me that I have a tendency to take the mundane and make an adventure out of it. That's how I want to live my life, an adventure. Damn, if the father in this movie wasn't preaching to this choir. To finish it off at the center of all the stories is the love story between this larger than life man, and a beautiful woman. Damn, I'm gonna start crying again... This movie couldn't have hit home more with me if they had single speed mountain bikers in it, wearing wool jerseys and racing 'cross in the fall. Add in Tim Burton's oddities of life, and damn, this movie really kicked ass.

2. Riding Giants- Outstanding. Look I surfed once in my life, and it wasn't pretty. And the breaks at Bethany Beach were far from Giants. But this movie is beautiful to watch, crafted very well, and frankly captivating. Laird Hamilton, who is the movies ultimate hero, was someone I thought was a tool from reading articles, seeing him with Gabby Reese. But, Damn, you see this movie and he is the freaking man. I imagine this movie hit surfers, much like Dogtown and the Z boys hit me as a skater. Stacy Peralta does a wonderful job of laying down the history, the respect for the elders that I think most mainstream sports lack now a days, and then traces a direct root to the current heroes of the sport. Timeless. Now that Stacy has covered surfing and skating I wonder what will be next, snowboarding? perhaps lawn darts ? Either way, the guy makes outstanding, compelling movies. The only way this could have been better is if Peggy Okie was in it.

3. Garden State- Very good. A little slow, but many humorous scenes. Basically the story of a young man who has been medicated his entire life and has basically become numb to the world. He stops taking his meds and begins to come to life. riveting. Natalie Portman does an incredible job. Good soundtrack, all around very tight movie.

4. Anchor Man, the real life adventures of Ron Burgundy- sucked. Really bad. I mean, totally wasted an hour and a half of my life bad. Don't waste your time, kiss your wife, play with your kids and your dogs, hell look at internet porn, you'll get more out of it.

5. Grind- another skateboarding exploitation film. However, unlike the classics "thrashin'" or "cleaming the cube" there's no underlying conspiracy, skaters take over the world, solve a crime plot. At the core of the film, this is a road trip movie. The story of 4 friends who set out on a mission, and drive across country. How can you go wrong with a road trip movie? You can't. Look this was not the deepest, or best movie I ever saw, but take road trip hijinks, stellar skating, hot chicks, and lots of cameos by Bam, how can you miss? If you loved road trips, this is worth a look.

Got to ride with Karen B again today, and damn, she still smacked me with that big ring. It was a solid hour, good lunch break, nice base miles. Feels damn good to pedal again. Only 441 hours and 30 minutes to go ...

respect
fatmarc

The Magical Bed...

Diane and I moved in together some 10 years ago. When we first moved into that rat hole apartment, we each had our own single beds. Hers was nice and on a beautiful brass frame. While mine was a little more sussed out and stacked on milk crates. So basically our beds were next to each other, but not aligned as hers towered over mine by about 6 inches.

The following Christmas we got our first Queen sized bed. It was cheap, but did the job, and meant we could finally bridge the gap that had become her beautiful brass bed, and my milk crate bed. The first day we got the bed, I thought it would be funny to climb up on to her dresser and jump on to the bed WWF style.

When I was a kid, my brothers and I regularly jumped from furniture to the bed with no worries. I proceed to launch myself through the air like "Super Fly Jimmy Snucka”, only when I hit the bed there is a large crash. I guess I didn't take into consideration the extra pounds I had gained as an adult versus being a 10 year old kid. Needless to say, I destroyed the box spring, and left a permanent indentation on the mattress. We were young, and struggling so what could we do? We slept on the now twisted and broken bed for years.

Ten years latter we had the same mattress, the same deteriorating, springs hitting you in the worst possible spots mattress. Last week as I got out of bed, I looked at the bed I was sleeping in. It looked like diorama of Fairhill complete with rolling fields. I exclaimed, “no wonder my back hurts, I 'm sleeping on a transition" " we are getting a new bed!”

And so, Diane and I set out and bought a new mattress and box spring. they were delivered with a smile on Superbowl Sunday, and last night we set it up. First impression was that it was much taller than our old set. We went with a pillow top, although the mattress and box spring are far firmer than our old set. Just as a joke I acted like I was gonna climb up on the dresser for another "snuka splash" and Diane shot me her best "WHAT THE FUCK" look. Thus I realized this would not be a good stunt for me to pull.

Slept in the bed last night, and to be honest although the bed was far more comfortable than our old mattress, I had a hard time adjusting. I guess I have just gotten used to sleeping on a spring, in a transition on an old broken box spring. My guess is that I will happily adjust soon.

Got to get out on the road for an hour yesterday. I rode with a cool woman from work Karen B. She does a number of tours, and racks up relentless miles. She lives local to work and knew a really fun, really good loop. She was laying the smack down on me pretty hard. I think she is Green Trek John's Sister because she never came out of the big ring the entire ride. Anyway, it was beautiful outside and it was great to be able to ride at lunch.

respect
fatmarc