Three Short Stories not about bike racing...

 I am not allowed to go into our local GNC with Diane.
It would seem that the kind man who owns/runs the place has a liking for my little monkey. He is always very friendly to her, and whenever she goes in without me, he gives her a big discount on whatever she is buying. We tested this premise a few times, and sure enough, if I'm present, no discount.

I am not allowed to go to GNC with Monkey anymore...

...

I was a the mall (ugh) with Monk today. She was in the bathroom and I was standing outside of that area waiting for her. There was the 25ish year old woman who had a lot of cleavage, and her low cut shirt was doing a poor job of containing said cleavage....  The young woman had a small child with her. She smiled at me, an I smiled back. innocent enough...

The small child had a bottle of water, which he threw down onto the ground.  The young lady smiled at me, and bent over to pick it up. I was trying to be a good guy so I look away, trying to avoid checking out the heaving cleavage that was tumbling out of her low cut shirt.
So I start to walk around a bit, still waiting for monkey to get out of hte bathroom. The young lady smiles at me again, and hands the bottle back to the young child, who proceeds to throw it on the ground again. She looks at me, I look away, she bends down to get the bottle...

Okay, I say to myself, clearly this is a little weird. I'm doing my best to not be the creepy old guy at the mall today, but seriously if she pulls this move again, I'm gonna have to check her out. Third time is the charm right?

So the young lady gives the bottle back to the kid, the kid throws it on the ground, she bends over to pick up the bottle, leaning in a direction that would give me a clear shot of her cleavage, --- when Monkey comes up and gives me a big hug. "Hey, Babe watcha doing?"
We start to walk away and I say with a smile, oh nothing, some girl was trying to get me to check out her cleavage I think...

...

A funny thing happened on the way to the MABRA champs today...

I walked out of the garage loading my bikes up, and noticed that Monkey had a flat tire.

I figured I'd be a good guy, I have a couple of minutes, I'll change the tire.

I pull the jack out, get the car up on the trusty Honda Jack; get the flat tire off and WHAMO!

The car falls off the jack. About this time I realize, that if i was smart, I would have moved the car to level 

ground and changed the tire. I give it the ole college try the second time, get the jack as high as it will go, and the spare still won't fit on the car. WHAMO! the car falls off the jack again....

Okay, I must need more power. Time is getting tight, but I charge off to Wallmart to buy a more powerful jack. Wallmart is an amazing place. Walmart at 8:00am on a Sunday morning in Elkton is really an amazing place. But I digress. I get the jack, I get home, I get the car up on the jack as high as it will go, and the tire won't fit still. Fuck.

Still hoping to make the race, I swallow my pride and call AAA. The AAA dude is super nice, uses my jack in addition to his jack with old 2x4's to get the car up high enough to get the spare tire on. He says to me " on the driveway which is on a hill, it was gonna be tough to get this high enough with just one jack."

Okay, I know he was just being nice, and trying to not make me feel like a dweeb for not being able to get the tire changed, but seriously I wouldn't have thought of the 2x4's that was the trick. AAA dude pulls out, and I do a quick time check: 10:00. 

Fuck, I'll never make the race. I'm pretty bummed. I love the MABRA champs, and feel like I had a good ride in me. I take my tubulars, and store them in the guest bedroom, and wrap up what has been a very fun cross season for me.

Not how I thought this would end, but what the hell... I went for a mtb ride with Monkey over at White Clay... Trails were nice...

thanks for reading.

respect

fatmarc

gratitude

I live a pretty awesome life.
I've worked very hard, but I also recognize I am truly lucky, and I am grateful for all I have.
I have a wonderful home, a great job, and simply a life I couldn't have imagined.

I am grateful for my family:
An Incredible wife who I love madly.
Two wonderfully crazy dogs.

A great family- 2 Amazing brothers with amazing wives. Parents that no one could ask for better. Thanks to you... (yes, I have 3 brothers, but one I'm not so grateful for at this point...)
A sister in law with a heart of gold, and a sense of humor to match it.

Outlaws, who I don't think like me but at least sort of understand where I'm coming from, and more importantly get that I make their daughter happy.
And lots of little nieces and nephews each with their own personality, and style. Each that I am so lucky to get to see and play with...

And this cycling game...

A few years ago Lweb said to me that her favorite thing about cycling is that you get to meet people from all walks of life, who otherwise you would never have contact with... Professors, Plumber, Electricians, General Contractors, Retailers, Sales Reps, Landscapers, Scientists, Republicans, Liberals, Hippies, Punk Rockers, Vegetarians, Omnivores, wrestlers...
you get it. I wish I had been smart enought to come up with that...

Anyway, I am grateful for all of them... All of you

I am also thankful for my Tauntaun.

Thanks for reading, hope you have a great day and weekend.

respect
fatmarc

Point Mongering...

Okay, I admit originally,  I didn't want to go to New York this weekend to race cross. There were two races just an hour south of me that I really like, and frankly Rockburn has always been one of my favorite race courses.
That being said, I missed 5 mac races this year (charm city x2- sick, Granogue x2-insane, and fairhill while racing CSI)...

The Festas also know as the couple that always puts beer in my hand were awesome this weekend.

With all that on the table, and frankly and eye to next season, Diane and I were fully committed to going to New York for the MAC Finals.

LVG-

Sitting here now, I have to tell you, I loved the weekend, and Diane and I are already planning on heading back to New York for next season... What an awesome weekend, Cheers Myles...

the Wulfkule Vettori Element Show....

The Bad Andy...

Myles is a good guy. I like what he brings to the series. I also understand his race is the outlier, and the fields while stacked with talent, and not nearly as deep as the normal MAC weekend. That's right bitches I was point mongering; because starting the 5th row next year is better than the 6th...
Saturday:
Course was a short lap, really fast and you didn't really need brakes on your bike. The barriers were in a awkward position. Not awkward like having sex in the back of a Volkswagen, but a weird location on the final road stretch.  Anyway, the race was really fun, just a little faster than I like. I came off a nice group with 3 laps to go (of 8... like I said short lap)... I spent the last three laps unsuccessfully trying to bring back Kelly Cline and Geoff House who were dangling off the front me. Good news is that my legs never felt good, and I had my best MAC result of the year, despite only finishing with 3 people behind me.

Saturday night:

Diane freaked out in the Hotel when Bad Kat said bed bugs, as luckily there were none. She was screeching and flapping, if was really funny.

Monkey's other nickname is danger scout. Danger Scout in full effect this weekend.

Then we went to a Mongolian grill with these guys:




 it totally was awesome, although Turkish beer reminds me a lot of coors light. (fail)...

Sunday:
Course backwards with a few interesting off camber sections and a couple of really fun corners. I got a killer start. Surprisingly I felt really good. In my head I began to think that finally this would be the race that things all come together. Each year, I feel like there is a race or two were I punch above my weight. I felt like this was going to be one of those days...


with three to go I was chasing hard trying to get to Kelly, and being chased by Long, Picallini, Wilson, and Kruger.  They make contact with me, and I assume the back spot in the group. We had a nice junior kid in the mix too, he tripped on the barriers, and I kinda plow into him falling off the group. I keep chasing for another lap, just dangling... Back to the barriers, and I get through and can't get clipped back in, I look up and just watch as the group rides away... finally I get clipped in, but it's done... Lowe chases me to the line...

Monkey didn't have her best stuff this weekend after taking sometime off to let her knee mellow out. She was going good, but just not sharp. She is just kinda fought through Saturday. Not her best ride she wasn't stoked, but I was proud of her moxy... Sunday she felt a little better, and completed her season chasing down two of her rivals on the final two laps and taking a spring finish against Natalie from Bike Therapy.  That was a pretty sweet way to end the season ...


I was proud of Monkey because once her knee flared up, it would have been easy to call it a year, I was proud she threw it out there one more time.... Good on her... She did 17 races this fall, after the doctor's
told her in January she wouldn't be able to race this season at all... Moxy... my baby has moxy...

it was a good weekend of racing...

bad kat, Monkey and Pricilla Flying the flag...

Auer sent us a sweet C3/twenty 20 flag which we all took turns at waving at each other during the races. Bob Lawrence, Katie's father, promised I'd go to bat for as he waived it at her, kat and monkey  during their races... Bad Kat did a great job waiving it at me and screaming at me during the race...





Meatball, who wrapped up his season on Saturday commented during his ride in the elite race, "my legs feel like cheeseburgers..." LOVE that guy.

Diane and I shared the hotel with Bad Kate and Bad Andy- I didn't inadvertently flash them this weekend. So at least I have that going on...

Playoff Beard.

The Dogfish Head Theobroma is excellent- thank you for the donation Big Time Glenn Turner...
respect.
fatmarc

two more in the bank...

Let me start by saying I love Kevin S. Phelps school is a beautiful venue, and they do an amazing job of putting on that race. Now I'll have to admit, the course Kevin put together this year was the best at this venue yet. Cheers to you Kevin and your Crew. I am a Kevin fan.

That being said the Phelps School Cross Course is like fucking fatmarc kyrptonite. I started racing cross in 1997. I don't think a single skill I've learned in almost 13 years of cross racing gave me any advantage on Saturday. Course had flow, but ugh...

Three laps in I found myself essentially with a group  with Featherman at the head of affairs and Breakenmaker riding caboose on our train. I was really frustrated, and frankly my mental attitude was bad. I tried to stay positive, but that was sinking faster than the Titanic. I just didn't have the impetus to battle through. I came off the back and basically rode around the rest of the race by myself. Had fun, but I admit a frustrating day.


 I went home and Monkey had to deal with me being Mr. Grump Dick Guy the rest of the day.

Sunday I was off to Kutztown Cross and what promised to be a completely different style course. Bob took essentially a flat field and turned it into a maze of twisty, tight, on the gas, hard cornering bliss. I was stoked.

I got a good start for a change and may have burned up a couple of matches trying to stay with that lead group.  Laps 3-4 Harshman, Larino and Culbertson came through. Acura Matt and I had Piccalo and my teammate Morali dangling for a couple of laps. They would make contact with Morali continuing to move up.

I'd dangle off of Piccalo's wheel the rest of the race, with Matt breathing down my neck. The last two laps were a combination of staying really focused, knowing if I balled up a corner I'd give up two spots, and trying to stay on it in the hopes that Piccalo would bobble and I could get around him. We all rode in cleanly.

I suffered a lot Sunday. There was not rest, no time off the pedals, lots of out of the saddle jumping out of corners. I was pleased with my ride...

Watched two cool movies this weekend too. The Time Traveler's Wife and Push. TTW is a good romanticy date movie. Just the thing to watch with your wife or lady when your being Mr. Grumpy Dick bad day at the races guy. Push is an X-men rip off that is set up for a super sequel that will likely never happen. Still worth the watch... In hindsight, we should have reversed the order of viewing here. Just saying...

not the greatest post, but frankly it was kind of a mellow weekend. Much needed this time in the season...

thanks for reading.

respect
fatmarc
pictures from Scott H. (facebook)

last run

Way back when I was skateboarding, there was this rule that developed. No one ever says, "one more run", "last trick" or anything indicating that the next pass would be the last. Inevitably, this resulted in who ever was taking the last pass to eat shit. It worked like clock work.

Last night, as I met a few friends to ride my bike around in circles in a field, someone said, last time around.
Not two minutes later, there was a pile of dudes in lycra laying on the ground.

Luckily no one was hurt seriously, and we could all laugh about it a few minutes later.

I propose that we adopt the "no one says last run" rule, when riding bikes around in fields.

thanks for reading.

respect
fatmarc

pilgrimage to the motherland

If you consider yourself a crosser... If you love this game, then you owe it to yourself to race in one of the New England Verge Series races. It needs to be on your bucket list.

No,  I don't think that the New England Series is superior to the MAC. I think the product delivered in both arenas is very comparable. But what Granogue and Charm City don't offer is the history and reverence that you feel all around in New England. The fields, the crowds, they know cross, they've been racing it for years. They know the riders, local and not so local. The Chip Baker led Hup guys have a party that runs from the cat 4 race all through the elites. There is a history that any cross lover can not deny. You see the Corner Cycle boys warming up together in their stars and bars kits. You see Tom Stevens, the man who was the visionary course designer and I know is the guy whose style we try to incorporate in every course we design. Paul Curly, the guy who brought cross here, and set the stakes that the foundation was build on, riding around, mirror on helmet, aero wheel on the rear. I got to shake hands and BS with Gewilli. If you love cross, if you care about the history of our sport, New England is an experience you can't deprive yourself of... For a Cross Nerd like me... It was simply amazing...
I've done the CSI race probably 4-5 times over the years. A number of years it was on the U Mass Campus, and it as fun, but the course was the best they could do with the terrain they had. My last time to the Cycle Smart International was 2005. It was a Look Park, and I have to be honest it was the most fun, the best course I have ever ridden. And for the last 5 years, I have told anyone who asked the the Look Park Venue, that course, was my favorite ever. With that backdrop, I was a little worried that the course wouldn't live up to my expectations, that it wouldn't be as amazing as I remembered it. Hats off the JD and Adam and their crew, because very frankly the course was better than I remembered.  A hard run up, tight bike driving technical stuff on the upper deck, fast pedaling corners on the lower, and a sandpit that was the most fun ever.
Amazing venue, amazing job pulling together what remains my favorite course... So Much Fun to race...  I can promise you this, it won't be another 5 years before I get back...

my bro skinny craig through Sunday's sandpit... yup he's in a 7up jersey...

Also making this trip really special and fun for me is the fact that my brother (skinny craig) and his family is very local to North Hampton. Craig started racing cross this year, and frankly getting him racing cross might be my proudest achievement this season. Craig and Beth were kind enough to welcome; host; feed; treat Monkey and the C3 crew that stayed with us like kings. It was so good to see them, and I have so much fun racing with my brother. Thanks for everything, this weekend kinda made the year for me. It was an awesome weekend.
Racing wise, it was a bit of a downer for Monkey. The Amphitheater of Pain at Beacon has seemed to re-irritate her knee. The run up on day one was a similar painful motion, and really balled up her knee pretty good. Monkey's going to take some time off the bike in the hopes that if she can rest it, and baby it up, and hopefully avoid any courses with steep run ups, she'll be able to salvage the year. She commented to me, "it's been a good year, the doctor told me I wouldn't get to race at all this year, I didn't have good legs this weekend anyway, but I gotta think long term... My knee is kinda balled up right now..." Smart Cookie this one is. She's had a great season... I am really proud of her...
As for my racing, it was pretty much the story of season: start in the back, hang on for dear life through the start, and try to keep clawing my way forward. Race hard and see where the chips fall.

back in black.. nose to tail in this race...

Saturday
I rode in a group of 6 or so for most of the race. On the final laps attacks and accelerations happened, two got away, I was dangling off of Jerry as we headed into the sandpit. He bobbled a bit, and I was able to make contact. I moved into the drops and sat on him until we hit the pavement, where I jumped and was able to just edge around him on the line.

Sunday
Start was long and fast, and I felt like I was really far back. Couple of dudes laid it down in front of me maybe 1/3 into the lap. I heard the crunching of spokes as I rode over his back wheel, doing my best to not get caught up in the pile up. I spent pretty much the rest of the race chasing Steve Roszko. On the lower deck he'd power out a gap, I'd get back in the sand or on the upper deck and sit on his wheel hoping he couldn't light it up again. With 2 to go, David H was coming back towards us and I got a little greedy, I tried to power through him and hoped to bring back Roszko too. I burned the match a little too bright, a little too early as both got away from me in the end.. Last lap I held off a hard charging Jerry, who was looking to reverse roles from our sprint the previous day. I didn't want it to come down to that...

J Rock (Mauer) had the best race I have seen him ride. he really pushed himself. The snot on the jersey is BAesque.

Interestingly, my result from both days was pretty similar and the same dudes were one spot in front of me (David h) and one spot behind me (Jerry). Hmmm...

It was an awesome weekend.

Birthday boy chillin' in the toaster

respect.
Fatmarc

The Fat Storm Trooper...

Whilst riding around the fairhill course last night, I had a number of conversations with my friends regarding the C3 Halloween kit this year. Folks asked if I liked it. To which I answered "I love it". Dennisbike.com commented that it made taking pictures tougher, it washed out  the pictures a bit and it wasn't nearly as flattering as our black kits. I agree with everything he said, but it just doesn't matter... (ed note Dennis really likes the kits...)

dudes running, me riding... that's the force... Photo Dennisbike

I can see how on a larger fellow like myself, I appear to be "the fat strormtrooper" or if you didn't know it was a stormtrooper, perhaps you'd mistake me for the Staypuft Marshmellowman.


me in my new white kit that I love.

But at the end of the day, despite how bad I may look in the kit..

It's a freakin' Star Wars Uniform. A Freakin' Storm Trooper !!!

me using the force again... photo cyclingcaptured.com



Vanity Be Damned!! There is now an army of C3 StormTroopers racing in the Mid Atlantic!

Yup, I'm the fat stormtrooper, but heck Luke was the short stormtrooper right?

I can live with that...

Fairhill course is coming together very nice.  Benny da Jewlar does a great job pulling together the flow of the course. CZ has done very well rallying the troops. It's gonna be a fine race.

I'm not a huge Journey fan, but damn I have to admit this is pretty cool. I mean you go to a Giant's game, they start playing a Journey song, everyone is singing along, and then who should be in the crowd?

I kinda got goosebumps watching this...

thanks for reading.
respect

fatmarc

thanks to

Dennis, and Anthony  for photos

fat stormtrooper- dennisbike