Joe- Rider X- member of sport champion team, all on fixed gear moutain bike; even single speeders think that's silly...

Just before my final lap, I was rubbing hot balm on my legs. Massaging them hoping to get them loose. I had to take a leak, and didn't get the gel totally off my hand. Which of course means, I got hot gel on my junk. Beautiful. Nothing like getting ready to ride and having your stuff burning. I tried to wipe it off with TP, no avail. Fatmarc, the spot brand whore, now with burning junk...