My blog is pretty much a sausage party...

(Paul welcomes everyone to the gun show...)

I had that realization today. No chicks really read my blog. Here let me list the women I know who read this foolishness:

my mom (thanks for reading mom) ;my sister in law (thanks tab) ;my wife (thanks Diane) ;Mega (thanks meg);L-Web(thanks );Keri (thanks combsy) ;Amy (thanks Amy)
Lisa (thanks lisa)

That’s it. I wonder if I’m okay with that. Roughly 7 women who regularly read my blog. I always considered myself very equal opportunity kind of guy, but reality is this is a dude club. Hmm, wonder how I feel about that.

Townie…
I live in a college town. I love my college town. This is the town I grew up in, and the college I went to. Living in a college town guarantees me a few things, good coffee, good restaurants, scantily clad co-eds in the spring, and a pretty liberal attitude in the town.

One weekend a year, I have to pay the piper for all the things that I love about living in a college town. The weekend is called graduation. First of all, the influx of people and cars into the town, makes traffic a nightmare. The best plan is to stay out of town as much as possible. But Like I said good coffee, good food… that’s why I live here right. Worst perhaps of all is the douche bag Parents that Graduation brings as they drive their SUVs, their Hummers, and their Escalades, their Giant Killing Machines. Diane drives a little car; you might call it a mini car.

Well, coming out of the parking lot last night, some big fat rotund monster of a man, driving his shinny new H2 with 20 inch rims, smoking a huge disgusting cigar, blew threw his stop sign and almost plowed into us. If it wasn’t for Diane locking up the breaks, and swerving left we would have been hit. The obnoxious fat bastard laughed when Diane honked at him, threw his hand in the air, and continued on through the intersection. Just because you sent your little princess to school here doesn’t mean you own the town you fucker. I wonder were some of these kids driving the BMW’s with “W” in ’08 stickers on them get their disrespectful attitude. Hmmm rotten apple doesn’t fall far from the tree huh? Oh, and yeah, the New York Giants suck you bastards. I’m a cutter. I’m a townie.

Friday:
Took the day off, set out early for a 3 park ride. Trails were divine and my motivation was strong. After 2 hours or so, I had made it through fairhill, and white clay, and did a little lap in middle run. I swung back around to white clay and met up with Diane. We rode for an hour an a half. And then the skies opened up on us. Like I said before Diane drives a small car, and the chances of her getting my Spot Brand 29er in it, were nil. So I cowboyed up and continued my way down the trail. An hour later, coming up through the Gallagher loop in fairhill, torrential down pours pounded me. I thought to myself this is okay, who else is training today, who else is gonna have over 4 hours of saddle time today? A rainy Friday? 7 minutes later, I rolled into my garage. I wiped down my bike, took of my shoes and looked out the garage to see a wonderfully sunny day. Who else would have a nice day riding, the Friday before a long weekend that is sunny and beautiful. For the record, I counted 23 folks on bikes I saw the rest of the sunny warm afternoon. Bastards.

Saturday:
Elk and Les, international man of mystery, came down to my house and we did a nice loop of fairhill. I like riding with Elk, because although he is not local to fairhill, he rides here a lot, and puts loops together that I wouldn’t normally ride. That’s pretty cool. I started the ride a little knackered, but the trails were insanely nice. I was on the rivet most of the morning. We’d roll along at a nice clip, and Elk would have a little surge just for a second, or through a short section, I’d look up and the dude would be 50 yards down the trail in an instant. Les covered. We rolled back to my place having put together a really nice loop, and covering some great miles. I was grateful to ride with these guys.

Elk had brought down some fresh Philly Soft Pretzels, and some fine mustard. These weren’t the crap you get a wawa that have been sitting in the bed of somebody’s truck for 2 days before being thrown up on the counter, but fresh baked, soft pretzels. They were excellent. Elk left a couple of extras which Diane and I enjoyed later in the afternoon. He did take the fine mustard though. We managed through.

Sunday:
Big ole group meeting at my place. Headed out to criss cross the single track lusciousness that is Fairhill. Buddy the leg breaker, Spot Paul, K-Man, Ben A, Fitzy, and Ted Logic helped me keep the wheels turning today. Kid Chris, joined us along the way. We rolled pretty much a totally different loop today vs. yesterday. That’s what’s nice about Fairhill.

Hell, I skipped my favorite section (kenny’s revenge) all weekend. Ole Kid Chris is developing a nice sense of humor. You know aside from chugging bottles of maple syrup, we were climbing up the three field climb, and Spot Paul was setting a nice tempo. Kid Chris rode up along me and started to push me up the hill, so I shoved him into the tall grass. He laughed; all kidding aside, Kid Chris is riding very well. As we finished out the ride, we climbed up 5 bridges, I heard a little clutter behind me, so I attacked. I pretty much threw everything I had into it. Buddy covered me like a bad polyester suit. Once it leveled out, I sat up a bit, and asked, “we got a gap didn’t we, please tell me we got a gap, that was a lot of work.” Buddy smiled, “yeah, we got a little one” the group quickly joined back on and finished the last section of Gallagher and got back to my crib. Spot Paul had brought a cooler full of fresh fruit. Ben, Buddy, and Paul had apples, and K-man had a pear, but only after a 21 point inspection of the said piece of fruit.

Sunday night we rolled out to Howard’s little shin dig. Dennisbike and I teamed up to play some horseshoes. Yeah we were undefeated by nights end. I actually threw my best games ever. I scored 5 ringers in the game against Amy and Howard. My brothers and my father can really play horseshoes well, me usually not so much. But today, I made my family proud. Howard’s was a lot of fun. Thanks. Well, it’s after 11:00 and I have a 9:00 ride. I’m going to bed.

Respect
fm