The Angry Man's Ride

Dear Reader,

We all know the ride. The one where you show up to the parking lot and look around. You know that not everyone here will be returning with the group. We all know the guy. You know the guy, the guy who shows up for this ride, and doesn't give a shit about you, or your program, or what races you are doing this year.. All he wants to do is to drop you. That's his goal. Now maybe he's a racer and very accomplished, or maybe he's the guy who races the ride every week so when he drops you, you knows he's winning the races. The quintessential angry man's ride.

I admit, there's a need for the Angry Man's ride. For close to 20 years I have been showing up and trying to claw my way through the ranks of the various tough guy rides in our area. I'll admit, I have gotten stronger clawing my way through these ranks. And every so often, I can even find myself in lead group of one of these rides. Those days are few and far between, and certainly not last weekend.

I'll also admit that I think the angry man rides are fucking stupid. If these are your friends, and you like to ride bikes with your friends- why would you attack when they have a mechanical? Yeah, I watched this happen last weekend. While these rides aren't races, why ride it like it is? If you want to race, pay your $30 and pin on the number.  I'll admit, the only time I really enjoy these rides is when I use it like a two dollar whore, and get the work I want and bail out, or frankly refuse to take a pull while stronger riders sit in waiting for the hills. You just  have to know what you are getting yourself into...

Win the ride. Be the first back to the parking lot. Make the front group. Be the man.

 Sometimes I avoid these rides because they become dangerous as people blow through stop signs to stay with the group, or maybe gain an advantage.

I usually come home pissed off as a bunch of good guys, and sane people do stupid stuff, all to win the ride.
I personally find it frustrating when the strongest guys are sitting in the back waiting for the hills to attack you, and you know give you the Lance Armstrong look back. When if everyone worked then the entire ride would be faster, and even harder. There's really a mob mentality to the angry man ride.

Every town has an angry man's ride, everyone has it's own cast, it's own characters. Not saying I love these rides, but I do recognize why they happen, and that frankly there's probably a need.  I'm also sure I'll be doing a few more this year...

I always wonder what it says about your place in the community when and if and folks stop for you on the angry man ride. I have usually prided myself in being a shepherd in these cases,  helping folks get back to the group. I'll also admit I was so in over my head last week, that when a number of us let the folks at the front knew that one of their regulars had a mechanical early in the ride and they stood and attacked, well I bit my lip and thought to myself, "I guess they're leaving him for dead."

I'll also admit, I have my short list of folks that have jammed me so badly over the years, that I wouldn't offer them my tube, a tool, a hand, a wheel, or a phone. Live by the sword, die by the sword motherfucker. Yeah, I'm not bitter.

On the other hand, I'm sure I've pissed off more than a few with my smack talk on these rides. As my friend said last weekend, "it was good to have some color on this ride." which I think was a compliment. That said with about 10 miles to go, and just about catching the lead group (they missed a light), I cramped up as badly as I ever had on any ride, much less an angry man's ride. A little frustrating, as the toughest sections where behind us at this point.

"Vanderbacon is off, Fuck that rat bastard loud mouth, leave him for dead."  I can imagine someone saying for sure.

 I was pretty stoked to have local strong man Mike K sit up and make sure I made it back into town, even after I told him that I was fine, just cramping... Mike is a class act and perhaps it made my day, that he did sit up for me in those last 10 miles... I owe you a beer Mike. See there is some love on the weekend Angry ride.

Maybe my issue is that I do value good training partners, I do value community, and at the core of the Angry Man Ride, isn't about community, it's about how many people can you drop.

So I'll wrap up this meandering blog post, not really condemning, or celebrating the local angry man's ride. Just recognizing some thoughts that ran through my oxygen debted brain on last weekend's angry man ride.

I'll be back out in a couple of weeks for sure. For the record, I think I got 7th on the ride last weekend.

thanks for reading.

respect
fatmarc