My Hubris

Dear Reader,

My new class is a management class.  The class is very good.  I enjoy the professor. I enjoy the work and the materials. There are a lot of managers in the class, and it adds to a lot of good discussions. One of these discussions revolved around candidates coming in for an interview. This one woman, a manager with some experience made a comment that kids now come in not dressed appropriately, not shaving or having long hair or not presenting themselves as "business like".  She continued to say that those candidates don't even have a chance.  This pissed me off.

I am not naive. I started my career in a very conservative industry, and I know I have heard comments like this before. Does how someone dresses make them the best candidate? Regardless-I know it's happened. It still pissed me off.

Each of the exams have a individual component, and a group component  Now each group has the ability to fire someone from their group if they aren't preparing or aren't pulling their weight. This same woman, who I am sure is a solid manager and a good human, proceeds to beat her chest and tell her group they better make sure they come prepared or she'll fire them. Of course she says it loud enough so my group 3 rows and probably so entire class can hear her. I commented to my friend, "if she was in my group, I'd fire her tonight.., way to build a team."

I'll admit it,  the combination of these statements, pissed me off. She reminded me of some of the bully managers I have had before. It's just not how I choose to lead. I was kinda fired up.

First exam went well for me. Very well. The professor asked everyone who got 100% on the exam to raise their hands. I and four of my classmates raised our hands. Then I did it. I looked over at the woman, noticing that she didn't have a 100% . I made eye contact and I, I'm not proud of this, but I  gave her the Lance Armstrong look back.

Tonight, we had another exam. I prepared the same, and I felt very comfortable with the material. It was a bit harder. There were at least 3 questions, that I really wasn't really sure of the answer. It was freakin' Karma. School has never been about proving a point for me. It's never been about grades, or being competitive with my classmates. For me this was a second chance, this was a chance to do my best, focus on school work something I never did as a college kid. To do something, I have never been good at before. It wasn't my opinions on management, or trying to best a classmate. My hubris, had made me a douche, and now on this test, I was going to pay the piper. Karma had made me her bitch.

I re-read the questions that were a struggle for me. I thought through them, I made my best answers based on the material and my command of it. I'm back in school on my terms and it's not about being right or wrong, or proving someone else's approach wrong. It's about doing my best and learning as much as I can. I promised myself to keep my ego in check, and leave it at that... I hoped for the best.

Thankfully at the end of class, the professor asked everyone who got a 100% to raise their hand. The professor commented, "five of you aced it, nice job." I looked at my grade, and I raised my hand. I never took my eyes off the black board in front of me, but I did smile.

thanks for reading

respect
vanderbacon