chapter 93: beat me down again

So for Christmas in addition to my new shaving cream which I can't use because it smells badly, I got a new hair volumizer. I thought that meant a new shampoo. So this morning I squeeze the bottle and realize that the volumizer was a little thicker than shampoo. I tried lather it up in my hair, only it was really sticky. I couldn't even get it all the way through my hair. Looking in my shaving mirror I did realize that I had shampoo horns from hell. So here I have this goo in my hand that I think is shampoo, but clearly is awful for shampoo, so I figure it must be some kind of shower gel and proceed to try and lather up my body. Nothing zippo, except now my entire body feels sticky, and suddenly itchy, I start to break out all over. I glance at my pubes and realize they have been styled into a wicked faux hawk, total euro style.

My entire body itches so much I scream a little, like a small child. Then I pick up my new horrible shampoo and realize with horror that this isn't shampoo, but hair gel. I grab the bar of dial and start scrubbing everything. I think I got it all off, but I'm scared. Message to santa, no new bathroom products next year, I am too retarded to use them.

Very good ride last weekend, Todd (el presidente) maestroed, with Buddy the leg breaker in tow. K-man and Green Trek John helped keep the boys at the front honest. The trails in white clay were frozen solid and superhero fast. Todd reciprocated by keeping a high tempo for the first hour. After coming down the border trail some of the boys in the groupetto, trailing the leaders just slightly (alan the cleaner, Kurtee, Matt Run Forrest, Spot Paul, dennisbike, me and Fitzy boy), started to look a bit like zombies, and it was awfully quiet for this usually chatty bunch.

The boys at the front backed it off a bit and we were able to roll out a very nice second hour hitting primarily the trails of middle run. It's all part of riding in a group. That was nice. At the end of the ride, I was cold, but smiling from ear to ear. Saw a group of like 40 Guy's Bikes guys out. That was impressive.

On the movie front this weekend we watched two: Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic and Superman Returns. Better than our haul the two previous weeks. Silverman is funny, but is really less of a movie than a show case for her standup. The band is good, and I swear the drummer is Laura from Trophy bikes. Superman was a well done comic book movie. There was a time when I was a pretty big comic book geek, so I enjoy these movies, I admit I never was a Superman guy, although this was worth the watch. I appreciate the mythology of Superman, I just always questions the excitement of a hero who is basically unbeatable.

respect
fm