Sex in the Shower

Dear Reader,

My name is Fatmarc Vanderbacon. I am Batman. And I've got love in my eyes and flowers in my hair.

Recently I have had the outstanding opportunity to demo my lust bike the Specialized Epic. Let me say that this bike is incredible. The model I had weighed the same as my current hard-tail. I got to do four different rides on this bike and I have come away thinking how amazing this bike is. It climbs well, takes off when you stand on it, and frankly takes the roughest sections of trail around here, and smooths them right out.

I was right to have this as my lust bike. That said, at the end of the day, it's not the right bike for me. My lust bike ended up being like sex in the shower.

"Sex in the Shower!?" you say, "That sounds awesome."

 Exactly.

That's my point. Sex in the shower does sound awesome, and don't get me wrong I'm not turning it down, but in reality, the execution of sex in shower is never as awesome as the idea. "I'm too tall" "you're too short!" " put your leg up on the ledge" "don't lean on the curtain" "be careful, don't slip " "I'm losing my balance" "hey, you're stealing all the water" "the soap dish isn't a handle"

If you've had sex in the shower, you probably know exactly what I mean.

Yeah, the idea of the Epic is amazing. I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to ride it last week, but my diet of fast, rooty, tight single track just isn't the proper application (for me). My mountain bikes are generally fat tired cross bikes, with as little suspension as I can get away with. Frankly, if I lived in Michaux or an area with more rocks- This would be my machine. I do think the bike could make me faster, but I miss the trail feed back in sections like 5 bridges or crack head bob. Based on my local diet of trails, it would be like using a chainsaw to trim the hedges.

For me, this isn't going to work for an everyday mountain bike. Much like sex in the shower, I will continue love the idea of it, and appreciate it, but for me the reality is that the idea is better than the application. (like I said for me for me anyway).

That said, you know if I ever hit the lottery, I'll have one of these in my stable for sure,because it is really fun to ride. You know  just as sure as the fact that if when offered I would never pass on sex in the shower either...

thanks for reading.

respect
vanderbacon