My brother says I run like a Sasquatch.

Dear Reader,

I will admit my perspective has changed a bit.

My brother called me earlier this week. He had been reading my facebook posts and was a little concerned where my head was.

My Running Form= Sasquatch

I have greatly enjoyed my time in grad school, and as a student. This opportunity has enabled me a chance to do something that frankly has been an albatross for me for a longtime. I am a good student, and I have really enjoyed my time at Goldey. That said with the light at the end of the tunnel,Hopefully next February I am tired. I want those 10hrs a week back.  Last block, I was able to really get pumped up again as the professor was incredible and the course really challenging and interesting.

In the last weeks, my new class started. I was not initially blown away by the professor. I am lucky to be working with a good group for yet another group project. I feel lucky to have the teammates I have. That said there were some issues on our first paper, and frankly the professor was at little laissez fair in her handling of it. I found this dissatisfying. Couple the fact that she was not timely and getting back with me, and I was downright surly. It all works out at the end of the day, but it was not a nice situation.

I'll also admit that the 9 hrs of Rocky Gap has left me with a bad taste in my mouth. I could really careless about the result per se.  I have never been particularly athletically gifted, or had anything come easy to me. My strengths are in planning, keeping a cool head and being resilient. I pride myself in preparation- one of my mantras is failure to prepare, is preparing to fail. Last weekend I made so many mental mistakes, preparation mistakes that I just keep kicking myself for

•  making the front group on the run and running past my bike, as I was looking for a black bike, you know the one I broke months ago
• not re-freshing my stan's prior to the race, and flatting the first time
• not putting enough air in the tire/tube and causing the second flat.
• I was 7 pounds over where I needed to be this time of year. 

No one has ever accused me of being a climber, but I climbed really awfully.

Look, I had fun, I love that course, one of my favorites and I see the positive in our result, we were very resilient. But clearly, I'm not been pleased with my preparation for that race. I needed to get that off my chest. Can't control the past, only the future, but that one is nagging me a bit...

When things are a little wonky, and between my school/my cycling they have been, my instinct is to grind. Put my head down and to go. Sometimes that's not pretty. Sometimes it works out great. Sometime I grind myself into the ground.

So my brother called me the other day, and it was great to hear from him. I'm grateful to have heard from him. Wednesday night, Diane and I went to the O's game. It was awesome. They slapped around the Yankees, and I might have hung out with Mr. Boh a little more than normal. It was awesome. I am truly a blessed man.

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
And miles to go before I sleep."

thanks for reading.

respect
fatmarc