Three Short Stories not about bike racing...

 I am not allowed to go into our local GNC with Diane.
It would seem that the kind man who owns/runs the place has a liking for my little monkey. He is always very friendly to her, and whenever she goes in without me, he gives her a big discount on whatever she is buying. We tested this premise a few times, and sure enough, if I'm present, no discount.

I am not allowed to go to GNC with Monkey anymore...

...

I was a the mall (ugh) with Monk today. She was in the bathroom and I was standing outside of that area waiting for her. There was the 25ish year old woman who had a lot of cleavage, and her low cut shirt was doing a poor job of containing said cleavage....  The young woman had a small child with her. She smiled at me, an I smiled back. innocent enough...

The small child had a bottle of water, which he threw down onto the ground.  The young lady smiled at me, and bent over to pick it up. I was trying to be a good guy so I look away, trying to avoid checking out the heaving cleavage that was tumbling out of her low cut shirt.
So I start to walk around a bit, still waiting for monkey to get out of hte bathroom. The young lady smiles at me again, and hands the bottle back to the young child, who proceeds to throw it on the ground again. She looks at me, I look away, she bends down to get the bottle...

Okay, I say to myself, clearly this is a little weird. I'm doing my best to not be the creepy old guy at the mall today, but seriously if she pulls this move again, I'm gonna have to check her out. Third time is the charm right?

So the young lady gives the bottle back to the kid, the kid throws it on the ground, she bends over to pick up the bottle, leaning in a direction that would give me a clear shot of her cleavage, --- when Monkey comes up and gives me a big hug. "Hey, Babe watcha doing?"
We start to walk away and I say with a smile, oh nothing, some girl was trying to get me to check out her cleavage I think...

...

A funny thing happened on the way to the MABRA champs today...

I walked out of the garage loading my bikes up, and noticed that Monkey had a flat tire.

I figured I'd be a good guy, I have a couple of minutes, I'll change the tire.

I pull the jack out, get the car up on the trusty Honda Jack; get the flat tire off and WHAMO!

The car falls off the jack. About this time I realize, that if i was smart, I would have moved the car to level 

ground and changed the tire. I give it the ole college try the second time, get the jack as high as it will go, and the spare still won't fit on the car. WHAMO! the car falls off the jack again....

Okay, I must need more power. Time is getting tight, but I charge off to Wallmart to buy a more powerful jack. Wallmart is an amazing place. Walmart at 8:00am on a Sunday morning in Elkton is really an amazing place. But I digress. I get the jack, I get home, I get the car up on the jack as high as it will go, and the tire won't fit still. Fuck.

Still hoping to make the race, I swallow my pride and call AAA. The AAA dude is super nice, uses my jack in addition to his jack with old 2x4's to get the car up high enough to get the spare tire on. He says to me " on the driveway which is on a hill, it was gonna be tough to get this high enough with just one jack."

Okay, I know he was just being nice, and trying to not make me feel like a dweeb for not being able to get the tire changed, but seriously I wouldn't have thought of the 2x4's that was the trick. AAA dude pulls out, and I do a quick time check: 10:00. 

Fuck, I'll never make the race. I'm pretty bummed. I love the MABRA champs, and feel like I had a good ride in me. I take my tubulars, and store them in the guest bedroom, and wrap up what has been a very fun cross season for me.

Not how I thought this would end, but what the hell... I went for a mtb ride with Monkey over at White Clay... Trails were nice...

thanks for reading.

respect

fatmarc