Saturday, February 3, 2007

episode 102: I blame e-town.

No, not for Tom (papa smurf) hugging the boobies of the day at Jan's cyclocross world's viewing party, but for my recent text message issue.

You see, I am a 36 year old man, text messaging is something completely foreign to me. E-town would send me these beautifully composed, articulate text messages, and I would take half an hour and reply. "OK" I swore after all that "AAA," damn I need to type a "B" so I'd type again, "AAB" , aw fuck I have too many "A's" I'd never text again. This frustration just kept coming back, finally I said to E-town, don't text me, I just don't have the time to respond to you...

So my cell phone contract was up, and I have been wanting to get my email on my phone for a while, purely for business reasons, and so I got a blackjack. In essence this was like giving a Porsche to a 16 year old. Way too much power.

I was on a week long trip, missing my wife so I quickly composed a text, that was clearly not ready for penthouse forum, but clearly written by a man madly in love with his wife, and missing her, and clearly looking for a little something, something when he comes home. And then, well, I lost the text. I thought I sent it, but it wasn't in my sent messages bin. I couldn't find it in the deleted bin. I called monkey. "did you get a message from me" she replied puzzled, "no why?" I'm sweating bullets. Right next to Monkey in my contact book is a woman I work with named Mary. I'm thinking to myself, "I am so fired, oh I am so fired..."

Hesitantly, I call Mary. "So, Ah Mary, you didn't happen to get a text from me today did you?" Mary, sensing the distress in my voice replies, "no, no I didn't but from the tone of your voice, I'm guessing it was one intended for your wife? Maybe a little raunchy. Damn, I wish I did get that, I would have busted on you forever..."

Feeling much relieved, feeling that I will be able to keep my job. I laughed it off, and thanked Mary for being so kind. I shared the entire story with Monkey and she laughed her ass off. So if your name starts with a "M" and you got a raunchy text from me this week, really sorry, it was intended for the wife.

For the record, I still haven't found it, and I haven't tried to send another text message. I'm back to old school.


Saturday morning was a bit of a clusterfuck for me. To start with Wes and I show up at the JCC for a nice tour of Brandywine with dan the man, les (international man of mystery), Matt( run forest), Buddy the leg breaker, Tom, Slick Rick, E-town, Spot Paul, Bob (young ho), Kurtee, John (TofBL) and I realize that I forgot my front wheel. I figured I was pretty much fucked, but Dan the man and I went back to his place where he lent me his front wheel. That was rad.

Dan the man was king of the day. Riding his cross bike across the rocky, rooty, twisty, snow covered trails of Brandywine, he not only brought a knife to a gun fight, he fucking won the fight. It was amazing.

In the spirit of me using Dan the man's wheel, there was lots of new 29er rubber on the ride, from the new maxxis, the new panaracer to the new specialized. Front wheels were swapped everywhere. You might have thought this was a front wheel demo day. By the end of the ride, slick rick had a hefty list of tires to order in the the shop.

All in all a pretty great ride. My skills are a little rusty, which sucks because they were just starting to come around, when I go and take a week of the bike, and I feel like I'm starting all over again. Oh well, I had a great time, it'll come around by the time I need them. Hell, all rights I shouldn't have been able to do at all, and in the end, I just missed out on a half hour of fun. Thanks Dan. BTW your new girlfriend, Daphne VantopofWilson, is really cute. Good on the bike too.

MAC Prom was Saturday night. It was good to see so many of the crossers one last time before we scatter into our other pursuits. The awards were all handed out, people were dressed up, it was a pretty cool affair. For the third time in my life (2x with Wooden Wheels, and this year with the Fort Factory Team) I was able to drink from the MAC Team Championship Cup. Well, we took the goods this year, but Dieter has the cup packed away in some box somewhere. Come on buddy, get up an hour earlier, you know like 10 in the morning, and dig up that cup. I wanted to do a whole blog series on my days with the cup, you know like how hockey teams pass around the Stanley Cup. In the old wooden wheels days, that's how we rolled.

Anyway, a good time was had by all. I finished the day with a nice piece of apple pie and a scoop of fresh ice cream.

respect.
fm

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Holy shite marc, you crack me up! Thats what I'm talking about! I'd be lost if not for your blog. Keep making me laugh.

BTW- i have a new blog, follow der link

Chris Mayhew said...

Yeah right dude. I'm the one airing out all your secrets.

BTW, I did the same thing to a Mary when I first got my Gmail account. Except she actually got the email.

samantha said...

I recently almost got fired (seriously, no joke, fired) for sending an email full of personal shit intended for a friend to our company's chief legal attorney. Yep, I had been looking up his phone number then hit send. There is no way to describe the feeling in your stomach when you realize what you've done. holy shit.

glad to see you writting again.

Ry said...

FM-
I ain't got no MAC Cup for you. Atleast i don't remember such a thing. I definitely have the Regional Cup and the Officially Unofficial Team Relay Cup. You can't drink from those holy grails. Glad you're back online.

Hardtail For Life said...

Thank you for bring boobies of the day to my attention. You have made me (and a computer lab full of engineers) very happy.

Jay

megA said...

huh.

that text wasn't for me?

so i could've gone to the MAC prom and not felt weird?

is it bad that i'm a little disappointed?

Anonymous said...

Uncanny resemblance sans tux