Much Respect to Male Models

So I get a call yesterday from a friend. They are doing a product shoot in Philly and have asked me to be one of the models. I am happy to oblige and agree. This will be different, how hard can it be to have you picture taken? I mean I had it done at least once a year through school right?

The director, Elle, shows up and goes from being a friend, to all business.
Elle starts, "what's you hair looking, like, take off your hat, yeah, that looks good." She continues her assessment, " hmm, sideburns look a little shaggy, can you trim them up?" " Do you have any sweaters ?" I respond, " I have a sweater vest ?" Elle smiles and comment , " that's nice, we won't need the sweater vest." Kinda flabbergasted, but still eagger to help, I agree. Elle, with a head of steam, and great motivation takes off, as we agree to meet in the morning.

I think for a second, and realize my fashion sense has just been evaluated, and I think I passed, probably with a "C" though. I hope I don' t end up on " what not to wear. " I have to admit my style is probably best described as somewhere between mid 80's skater and grumpier old man. So I probably shouldn't have been surprised when I showed up to the shoot in the morning sporting clogs and black shocks as Elle, again in full directorial mode, greets me, " Good morning, you look great, now lose the black socks." I love Elle. She is cooler than me.

So the shoot goes on, you'd think it would be easy. Oh, no, nothing can be that easy. When Ru Paul says, "you better work! " he means it.

The photographer says things to you like " look natural" " be cocky" " can you focus out here"" keep your eyes open"" walk a little slower" It was hard to keep a straight face at times, but the entire time I'm trying to be serious and do what the photographers want.

How the fuck do you look natural? Man this was very weird.

Also weird, I had a co-model very nice, pretty young lady, and the scene was us walking together, you know like a couple. I have to admit, I felt a little weird. Look I know we were just acting, but seriously, it's been like 14 years since I walked down the street with my arm around a woman besides, Diane. Look, it wasn't like I was cheating on Diane, but my counter part is taller, and just kinda acting like we were a couple was, you know weird, because, we not a couple. We aren't attracted to each other, we just had to act. I know, sounds, easy, but seriously it was weird.

I was not meant for the arts. How anyone can do that for a living and actually look, well like models look, is beyond me. God Bless 'em, me I don't think I have to worry about being a supermodel. I have a whole new respect for Ashton Kutcher after today. Thanks for the help Elle; you can count on me anytime you need me. Contact my agent at the Townsend Agency if you need my services again...

After a long hard day of trying to look natural, I head to fairhill for a little noodle on the bike. Trails were freaking spectacular. Bike felt great, my legs were tired from a couple of hard days, but I was having the time of my life. I expected to see tons of folks, but only passed 3 guys. Oh, well their loss.

The night finished off with what I believe are easily Newark's best Nachos from Iron Hill brewery. They were out of sight, I had a side of Guacamole, which was very strong, and frankly, I am really picky about my Guaq. Diane had some crab soup that was also top notch. No trip to Iron Hill is complete with out a pint of anvil ale. Yummy to the tummy.

Well, I still haven't showered from my ride; I need to do that now. I'm dirty, and I smell bad.

Respect
fatmarc