Got my results from my MRI.
Yeah, I might be done.
Still wrestling with that one a little, trying to avoid, self-pity, feeling sorry for myself. That dark place can creep in really easy. WTF, I’m not dieing, I still can think, move, talk, hear, see, sing, well I never could sing, but I enjoy trying. I am so blessed, have been so lucky for so long, I can withstand a little rain on my parade.
With horror, I looked at Fisher 29er full suspension bikes last night. I can’t do it. I can’t ride that beast. I think I will still be able to ride, but right now, how I feel now, how I felt during cross, I think I’m done racing. At this point I don’t see how I could ride myself back to the level that I would want to be in to race. And that’s been a little bit of a bitter pill to swallow.
MRI showed that I have a bulging disk at the top of my spine, not placing pressure on the spinal cord. I have a bulging disk at the bottom of my spine, between l4 and l5, that is putting some pressure on the spine. Both of these are somewhat treatable, with rest, stretching and prosper posture. The ugly part was that between l3 and l4 I have a facet joint degeneration. Which of course I had no idea was , until I typed it up on the ole internet and viola! Read all about it.
It was weird reading the symptoms, it was exactly describing what I have been fighting with. Then of course I read the treatment. Which wasn’t so sunny from my perspective.
This may be something that I don’t get to just shake off. There were possible injections of fluid that will help to lubricate the joint; or the burning off of nerve endings so I don’t feeling the pain, or anything anymore. Maybe that’s not so bad, if I don’t feel pain, maybe I could actually race faster. Like I said, I have to talk to my doctor about all of this. And of course, there is the hope that the radiologist, that my PCP is wrong. But really, long term, there was no clear and easy treatment spelled out.
Sorry, there I go again feeling sorry for myself. Good news is I think that I can keep riding, I mean, for now I am going to start riding more again. I have an appointment with an orthopedic, spine and back guy, hey is supposed to be the best in Delaware. So well see how that turns out. In the meantime I have cancelled all of my PT appointments until I meet with the spine guy. I want to see what he has to say, and why waste PT time, if that’s not where he wants me. I have continued with my stretching and core strengthening exercises.
At this point, again not feeling sorry for myself, my hopes are that if this is the hand I was dealt, and my back is as good as it gets, that I can get back into a riding routine again. And that we’ll see how it goes along the way. But yeah, I had the realization yesterday, that I might have raced my last race. And I’m not sure I’m down with that yet.
Yeah, yesterday was kinda a bummer for me.
8 comments:
Marc,
I am sorry, no make that saddened, to hear about your condition, but you CAN overcome this. It will take time and it will not be pleasant, but I know you can do this.
Be the warrior that you are.
That's some shit, bro. I just read DT's back woes, but this sounds worse. Keep your head up and don't overdo yourself! Hopefully you find a satisfying solution for all this. Take care.
Keep your spirits up...a positive attitude can do wonders for physical ailments. Listen to the doctors, but don't let them limit your aspirations. Yoga, stretching, etc. can work wonders.
Racing is partly about the racing, but more about the community of individuals that come together to share the experience. If you can't get back to peak racing condition you still have something to add to the community...bust out that Tigger suit once in a while. 8-)
Focus on getting back on the bike for fun and then take it from there...that's what it's all about. You're faced with a difficult challenge, but you're up to it.
Crap!
Now I'm starting to feel sorry for myself at the thought of you not being around at the races.
Andrew
Man, I'm so sorry to hear that. For now I'm going to hope that the spine doctor has a magical cure that will let Chris & I see you racing CX next fall. I know it's a longshot, but hope costs nothing. Hang in there!
Cheryl
marc
drop me an email
I will try and put you in touch with a friend of mine
he currently lives in India, but came back for some surgery that sounded very similar to yours
he had some surgery some years back before I met him
when I came to know this guy he was then living in San Fran where he had a place in Downieville
we raced on 24 Hour teams together at Canaan, Snowshoe, Moab, and Donner Pass
he seems to be doing well after surgery
get back to me
joel
I'm helpless...I can't help you with this.Wish I knew the Doc or VooDoo to get it all fixed.
I can say that as long as you can still ride (there is more then the races) every turn of the crank is helpful to the soul.
Hope you find a way to get "repaired" and/or stay with the sport in some way.
denS
Man that's rough. I thought my back issues sucked, but reading your words really puts it in perspective. I'll be sending some feel good vibes through the airwaves to you. Try to think about the times you had, not the possibility of what does or doesn't lay ahead.
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