I can't help smile...

Final grade report came out yesterday.
I gotta admit, I can't help but smile when I look at it...

yup, I did it again. Still smiling.

now to try and find my legs...

respect
FMVB

Incremental- a day at Elk Neck

"Josh Waitzkin, a chess prodigy, wrote a book called the art of learning, and in it he describes the different types of chess kids he was teaching. He discusses at length the "entity" versus the "incremental" forms of learning, as classified by developmental psychologists. "Entity" kids think their chess skill is born and natural and innate ability, a pure talent, while "incremental" kids think they have learned chess incrementally, step-by-step, and that hard work pays off.

been Chasing Dennis around for 20+ years...

Josh would give his students impossible problems-well beyond their level, that no one in the class could solve. So all the kids would fail that problem. But then, when he gave them other manageable problems afterwards, the "entity" kids would struggle, they had broken mentally, and were unsure of themselves. The "incremental" kids would just go back to work, slogging away. the "incremental kids, who believed in the power of labor, would keep digging in the trenches, even if faced with insurmountable problems."

-Sam Sheridan

I'd say that these guys were cracking the whip, but actually I think everyone took their turn at the whip today...

Started reading Sheridan's a Fighter's Mind this week. Pretty interesting, kinda had me hooked when the first chapter was about Dan Gable. I liked that passage and figured I'd share. I'd add that I don't think everyone is all "entity" or all "incremental" but most a combination. I'm sure I could draw some analogy with racers who sandbag, being "entity" kids and when they can't rely on only talent they quit the game, unable to figure out the next level... but I'd rather think about how I'm probably 98% an "incremental" kid, and frankly that's what's kept me riding and racing bikes. I feel like each year (with the exception of two years) I have gotten better, and learned more about this game, kept it fun, kept learning and doing something new- that's why I think for 20+ years now, I'm bombing in the woods, or around town dressing in lycra... 

There was another passage about ego in Sheridan's book but we'll save that for another day...

Slimm and Joe B

This morning I met a group of guys that were killer mix of talent and hard work. It was an honor to be riding with them. I was a little under the weather Saturday, so I expected it would take everything in my suitcase of courage to stay in on this day. I'm not sure that on my best day I could have done anything differently. 

Jason T flying on his new rig today...

There were two particular climbs, two climbs where I knew I was at the limit, and I had to just back off a little... But with this group, any time you took the foot off the gas the group was all over you. It was a hard, but very fun day...  As Waitzkin would say, I was facing impossible problems, but I also know that while today I wasn't my best the efforts are in the bank, it was good work, and that will pay off in the future. Just keep moving forward. It felt good to be out and to be trail riding...Elk Neck is a magical place in the winter, and while I think conditions today were the best all year winter, my hope is that the weather will allow for trail riding more locally...

thanks for reading...

respect
FMVB

Fatmarc Vanderbacon-MBA

Dear Readers,

I have a very clear memory of my final undergrad class twenty years ago. I was not such a great undergrad student. I didn't love school, I hated it. I probably cut more classes than I attended. That last semester I was working over night. Eleven at night until nine in the morning and then off to school each day. That last class, Latin IV, was at nine-thirty on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I didn't have a car, rode my bike from work, and usually showed up to class in a rush at nine-thirty five a sweaty ball of mess.  I remember that last exam, I had to pass to graduate. I had spoken to the professor, he knew my situation. I had studied as hard as I could. I took the test. I got a C-. I graduated. I was on the C's get degrees program for sure. I remember walking out of Smith Hall and hitting those doors walking out into the sunshine throwing my hands up in victory and saying to myself, "fuck yeah, that's over. I am never going to school again in my life..."

My mom always told me to never say never.

Twenty years later, I started my Grad program at Goldey Beacom College-  MBA program with a concentration in Human Resources. It couldn't have been a different experience. Smaller classes, which I looked forward to, and I never missed a single one. I developed relationships with my professors and classmates, even if I was usually the "old guy in class".  I studied on average 10 hours a week for the past two years. And today, today I finished my program, took my final final exam. I expect to graduate with a 3.9 or 4.0 GPA. I look forward to walking in May. I AM STOKED.

Fatmarc Vanderbacon, MBA.... I kinda like the sound of that...

Unlike when I finished my college undergrad, I do consider myself I life long student. Do I see myself getting another degree?  nah- but I'm also not ruling it out. There's also a really strong chance that I may be teaching a class or two this fall at Goldey. That's so exciting to me.  It's been a very tough couple of years, I worked really hard, I learned so much.  This experience has been good for my career, and good for me as a human being. Now, I'm not gonna say it hasn't been without it's costs and sacrifices. I've been grumpy, grindy, not slept, and sometimes a rat-bastard to live with or be around. For that, I'm sorry... but hell that's part of the joy of  who I am too...   Man, I'm tired...

It's been such a great experience. I am grateful for my friends, co-workers, family and of course Monkey who supported and dealt with me when I was losing my shit. (I did that a lot). I am very happy to be done, and frankly super stoked right now. SUPER STOKED.

my one regret? I didn't get to race collegiate cross nationals with Jeff, Gunnar, Kyle and Sam as a 43 year old college student... Hmm.. maybe my next degree? Maybe with Jimmy Rock?

Marc Vettori, MBA  - I really can't believe it...  so stoked... If you would have told me 5 years ago I would have been able to do this I would have told you that you were nuts.

thanks for reading, I'm going to shave this playoff beard!

respect
FMVB

Wrestling Related: read this on the internerd...

Dear Readers,

A few years ago one of my mentors told me that I approached life, and everything with a wrestler's mentality. Recently a couple of people who I hold in very high regard told me they were impressed with my drive. I was humbled by those compliments, but I'm not sure I'm so driven as much as hard wired to approach things a certain way. I never saw it when one of my mentors said it to me, but I do believe he was right about approaching things as a wrestler. I really feel it when things get tough and just find myself grinding, and I just want/need/have to keep moving forward...  Anyway, I saw this and thought it related to that so I figured I'd share... 

For what it was worth, I was a pretty awful wrestler, and Delaware is not Iowa...

"My son started wrestling when he was seven years old. This weekend he wrestled his last high school match, and although he had a very nice career he ended-up just short of his goals. He ended with 98 career varsity wins -- two short of what it takes to get his name on the wall in our gym -- and missed qualifying for states thanks to two excruciatingly close matches. It was even more painful because we had four meets that were snowed-out this year, otherwise his 100 wins would have been assured. And his bracket was loaded with returning state qualifiers, so he knew from the start that qualifying at his weight was going to be a big challenge. But nonetheless he came tantalizingly close to beating a couple of extremely high caliber wrestlers, only to see the matches slip away; which really only added to the pain. After his last match he ran outside and cried for about an hour. When he finally came back, and I saw him for the first time, the pain in his face was indescribable, and something I will never be able to erase from my mind.

It can be a brutal sport. And I won't lie, for the better part of the weekend I wondered if it might have been a mistake to get him involved in wrestling -- because I suspect this last day of his career will haunt him for the rest of his life. I wondered if anything is worth going through the pain he has gone through. You have to understand that he worked unbelievably hard to try to meet the goals he had set for himself. He wrestled 12 months out of the year, and between lifting, running, and wrestling he did some kind of training 365 days out of the year. I could see in his eyes a sense that life had betrayed him; that if you work that hard towards a goal, you ought to be rewarded.

However, I've also watched him gain confidence through the sport that I don't believe he could have ever achieved without wrestling. He carries himself with self-assurance that absolutely came from testing himself repeatedly, and from the many accomplishments that he did achieve. The last couple of years he helped coach the junior program, and by doing so he learned leadership skills and learned how to speak confidently in front of groups. To the young kids he is a rock star! I have truly been amazed at what a fine young man he has become, and I know to a large extent wrestling is responsible. And, yes, even the pain of failure has built his character and made him stronger.

I know this has nothing to do with Iowa wresting, but I can't say these words out loud to my wife and friends without breaking into tears. And yet I need to get the words out -- preferably to people who know exactly what I'm talking about -- because there is no pain more exquisite than watching your child hurting. In the end, I take solace that he will heal from the pain more quickly and more completely than I ever will.

I'm glad he wrestled. I've never been sadder in my life. But I am glad he wrestled."

Thanks for reading and allowing me a little lateral introspection and what not.

respect

Vanderbacon

8 days...

Dear Readers,

Sometimes I get tired and lose my shit.

This morning was one of those times. Doing my best to stay positive, but I admit. I'm failing a bit. This has been the winter of discontent, and I'm feeling it for sure.

When I was younger and just finishing up college I worked as a paraprofessional  at the local school for the deaf. The group I worked with had a number of other challenges outside of being deaf: primarily severe autism and Down's.  For a while,  I worked in the dorm, and part of my role was to help some of these guys shower, and clean themselves up- which sometimes wasn't very pretty. Personal hygiene was not high on some of my guys list of priorities.

In my career since that time, I have often said that no matter how tough it is, or how stressful, at least I'm not cleaning up shit (literally) anymore.

Except that I have been.

God Bless Puppies- He made them cute for good reason.

deep breath, good cup of coffee and moving forward. Just keep moving forward.

thanks for reading a little of my frustration...

More snow on Monday.  fucking joy.

respect
vanderbacon.

Playoff Beard

Dear Readers,

I have been growing a beard for a few weeks now. I like having a beard.

Yesterday, Diane said to me, "your beard is starting to get a little bushy, you think about trimming that thing?

To which I responded, "yeah, it's a little longer than I like, but I can't do anything about it right now."

Diane looked at me puzzled.

I continued, " I'd love to trim it but I can't."

I smiled and explained, "it's a playoff beard, I started growing it when I started my last push of school. Frankly with 16 days left to go, well I'm afraid that if I trim this thing I'm gonna fail my last last class and not be finished on March 1."

My lovely wife, nodding understandingly, " got it. totally understand, I want you to finish up school, so don't touch that thing..."

you gotta respect a playoff beard. It's the rules.

BTW my wife rules too.

thanks for reading

respect
vanderbacon.

It's a good crew

Dear Readers,

I have always been proud of the people I get to ride bikes with over the years. While I am constantly amazed at their abilities and the things they do on a bike, I am even more impressed with the fact that they are really good people. On a ride last week at Elk Neck, there was a particularly gnarly steep section of trail. We had a pretty nice sized group. We each cheered for each other while most folks made it up the section and two us, myself included did not. It was one of those moments where you look around and say, you know I'm lucky to be around some really good people.

That same ride, we were charging down a twisty, switch back decent. We noticed a couple and their dog riding up at the most technical, rooty and tricky little section. We pulled to the side as the man and the dog charged by, we cheered a bit for him. As the woman was coming up to us you could tell she was really digging in, she commented between heavy breaths, "I hate this climb.."  Instantaneously, we all went nuts cheering for her. It felt like a tunnel of noise as we cheered her on. This wasn't planned, it was just one group of riders cheering for peer as she crushed out a tough section.

It was courtesy to pull over, it was community to cheer. I was really proud. I felt it right there in my chest, pride to ride with, hang with, be apart of the group that I get to ride with... We cheered the woman on as she crushed out the technical section and began to motor away from us...

I count myself as a lucky man surrounded by some really good people.

thanks for reading.

respect
vanderbacon

yup, yeah just like that...

Dear Readers,

So there I was just sitting on Josh and Joe's wheel, bleeding out my eyes on this climb. I was hoping just to stay on and not get dropped. Josh and Joe were both out of the saddle, standing and throwing head shot after head shot. Toe to Toe, neither would back down. I was hanging on for dear life and all I could think of was Macklamore hanging out in the club wearing his grandfather's velvet jacket thinking, "this is fucking awesome!"

respect
vanderbacon

this is brilliant.

Dear Readers,

I wish I thought of this...

so you want to be a bike racer in the midatlantic?
this winter- you better hit the trainer...

respect
vanderbacon

gone daddy gone

Dear Readers,

Less than one month and school will be finished. I'll walk in May. Had my midterm on Saturday. It was tricky and I'll admit I over studied a bit. Totally screwed up one of my essay questions. Confused two different principles. That may have crushed my GPA, but not my soul.  Group project and presentation due in 2 weeks. Then a final and the term paper.  Just keep hammering away at it. "it's gonna be a fight out there."


Crushed out some great miles with a great group last weekend:

photo by Joe B.

We joked the last time we had a group this good, this fun we got a ton of snow and couldn't ride outside for another two weeks. Sure enough after Sunday's adventure we got another 6 inches on Monday... Here's to hoping it's not another 2 weeks until we get to ride together again...

respect
vanderbacon