I rode my bike today...

Dear Readers,

I rode my bike today. First time in over 6 weeks. I have been resting and stretching. I've felt steady improvement in my knee. Friends and professionals assure me to be  patient and time will heal this. Following those recommendations, today was my first ride.

In my mind for weeks, I imagined the first ride would be amazing, that somehow like Forrest Gump when I started to go the braces would come off and everything would click into place. It would be like some awesome training montage from the movies and I'd be propelled back to my former self.

But reality and my own life experience teaches me that the Russians aren't really cheering for Rocky, and no matter what pill Morpheus offers you there is nothing easy. The ride today was horrible. I spent entire 24 minutes terrified. I was scared my knee would be tight, that I'd feel something. That there'd be  some pain. I was hyper-sensitive. While I'm pretty sure there were no issues, I might have imagined a few... This was not the triumphant return I had imagined.

The ride itself wasn't much to speak of- 4.3 miles of bike path in 24 minutes. My bike, which six wheels ago felt like it fit like a glove, felt awkward under me. The seat height, which has been the same since I got the bike 2 years ago, felt a hair high... And I, I was scared to do anything, to change anything for fear of setting off my knee... I wanted joy today, instead I was just scared.

it will come. it will come...

I've got three more weeks of bike path. That I can handle. The fear, the fear may cause me to come undone like weezer's sweater...

thanks for reading

respect
m