Two Done...

I took my second final of my new school career tonight. This is my fourth exam, and maybe 8th  test in my now 16 week grad career. My second class has been really good. I'll admit I was disappointed with my grade on my midterm this block. I made some sloppy mistakes. I knew the material better than I showed. I still got a strong grade but I wasn't happy. In a weird way,  I feel like I'm playing with house money, and I care less about the grade then getting the most out of the class that I can. I guess to some extent I'm measuring that by the grade, so yeah, I do care about the grade. That and I fucking want to get everything right. I spend too much time studying to expect anything less. I wanted to do better on the final.




Tonight, sitting in class waiting for my final, I felt myself sweating. Despite the classroom being very well air conditioned, I was nervous. Sweating, I felt the first drop roll across my brow. Then, I pitted out my shirt. The professor passed out the exams, I felt my heart rate spike. I smelled myself. The smell was not my best. Oddly, once I smelled myself, I felt myself relax. I took a deep breath... Is this my test routine? Can it get any easier?  Knowing me probably not. How come none of my classmates seem to be freaking out? I don't get it. How did I end up the oldest, dorkiest, most freaked out guy in the class?






I was the first one finished the test. I hate being the first finished. I turned in my exam, thanked my professor and went home. Another strong grade. Better than the mid term, but still a couple of mistakes. I can live with that....


Two classes down, ten to go....


On to the next, next week...


respect.
vanderbacon