Well, 2 laps into a 5 lap race, I pulled into the pit and pulled the plug.
So how does someone pull the plug on a race that has been a goal for 365 days, and over 20 hours of driving, and countless hours of preparation?
As much as I love cross, I love my wife more.
Let me explain.
First and foremost my goal was the 40+ B race. Wednesday. Secondary, goal was to fight for a top 40 in the 40-44 race. Physically, I was ready to go. Mentally I was cracked. I don't travel well without my wife. I was in Madison 6 days by the time the second race came up, and frankly, I just wanted to be home. Six days of craziness, and racing and barn fires and well, when things are crazy, she keeps me cool. I lost my cool. What can I say predictably lame, but the truth. As bodies were piling up in the frozen ruts, I just didn't have the heart to battle in conditions that I usually excel in. So there you have it. I just didn't have it this day...
Nationals were a lot of fun. It was a great experience, and I learned a lot.
I'm glad to be home. and to have a little break now...
What's 2012 hold?
I can't honestly say that I know. I love cross, but I also recognize that I'm not really that good at it. It's a ton of fun, but for Diane and I racing cross had evolved into much more than just training and preparing ourselves for races. We promote, work a series, in general work at cross. Thing is, this isn't my job, I'm tired and find myself asking if the juice is worth the squeeze anymore. Promoting isn't as fun as it was. It's satisfying but I can't say it's fun. I feel like I have loyalties that I won't turn away from. I'm in a weird spot I guess...
I don't go to Nationals every year. I remember going to Nats in Baltimore and Providence and just being blown away. I felt like it was the pinnacle of the sport. I was just blown away by everything. In Madison, I was the WTF guy. "WTF they have 3 barriers? WTF can they make a smaller pit?, WTF can't they tape the entire course?" I don't want to be the WTF guy anymore. There's no joy in that for me. I want to look at the sport with excitement and wonder. And frankly, this has more to do with me, and what I want to get out of this, than what the promoters in Madison did.
So, we'll see. For Now, I'm just happy to back in the arms of my baby. I've got some things to sort out. I'm gonna take a little time and try to sort some stuff out...
thanks for reading.
respect
Vanderbacon
9 comments:
You are B-U-R-N-E-D O-U-T. Spend the next 6 months not thinking about 'cross, and just enjoy the bike for a while.
Yeah man, take some time to rest, relax and enjoy. It'll become clearer.
You're one of the most passionate people I know when it come to 'cross and cycling in general and it's genuine. But at some point you need to a break and just re-group, we all do. Like you said, it's not a job and once it starts to feel like one, that's when it stops being fun. Keep your head up, hope to see you at some mtn bike races this year.
I hear ya. But man you're way better than me, and there are buckets of people who are slower than I am. not in our race, but.
Marc, you don't suck at cross. I am not sure I can imaging NoHo or G'ster w/o you there anymore. But you have to find joy and make peace with what you do, and you will, whatever it winds up being.
heddwch
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Cross is never fun in December, this year December became January. Rest, relax, ride your bike for fun.
You can't hold the whole cross world on your shoulders....next year just chill and have fun.
I feel ya. Last MAC race w/end was a relief for me. I was Done with Cross. Now, not so much bike-y stress. The home rides are flowy and enjoyable. Am not stressed to ride a bike ie; workout. Weight controll is another thing entirely. Oi!
Miss is spot on. I pulled the plug on my season a month ago and am burned out just from commitments I still have. Give it some time. I think we all learned some lessons about how a longer season works. Isn't your background photo from Sept?
Maybe it's time to take a season off. I had to due to family reasons this year, but the time away has renewed my interest in it. I will say that I doubt I will race as much as I used to. In any case, I know it's hard to let your baby go but you may find they do just fine without you (I'm talking promoter stuff).
Thanks for all you do Marc!
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