067: Criminal

Is this the face of a criminal?
Apparently, yes.

Today I was out at the local grocery picking up some gift cards for a charitable organization. The amount was not ridiculous, and I presented my VISA card to pay for them, it is after all everywhere you want to be.

The young cashier requested my ID, so I provided him my driver’s license.

He proceeded to eye ball my license and me, like twenty times.

Finally, he runs my card, which has my name on it, the same name that is on my driver’s license. The kid looked nervous as he watched my purchase be approved, and I watched as he jotted down my address, and DI lumber on a piece of paper.

I asked him, “so once we are done here, how do I know what you do with my personal information? I mean the name on the card, the driver’s license is the same right ? , the purchase went through? Are you sure I’m not a criminal yet?”

Nervously, the clerk responded, “once we determine that the card isn’t stolen, we’ll shred you’re info on this piece paper.”

I was a little perturbed at this point, but figured I was doing the greater good, take the high road, take the gift cards and get out.

“freakin’ awesome” I responded, signing the receipt and leaving the store.

As I drove home, I was totally freaked out. WTF! You saw my photo ID, that matched my VISA card with my freakin’ name on it. Picture looks just like me, because it is me. The card was approved. What the frig?

So I called the manager of the store, and explained that the kid was nice, but clearly nervous with my purchase. The Manager called the young clerk into his office and got his side of the story. The manager called me back, read my personal information back to me, and assured me that he was shredding it, all the while apologizing to me.

I asked the manager if they were robbed recently, or what I did to make the kid so nervous.

There was a pause.

The manager replied, “Mr. Vanderbacon, its… It’s your sideburns, Lefty

and Kevin.

They are so bodacious, so strong that our young clerk was immediately thrown off by their presence. The power of those burns, is well, horrifying.”

Clearly, I understood the young man’s terror.

Personal Info Destroyed, Gift Cards Delivered, A young man’s first experience with sideburns in the bank.

All ends well.

Best to you.

respect
Fatmarc

176lbs and gaining quickly…