Christmas Eve Eve: Buddy the Keg breaker guided Rachael, Monkey and I through the Victory Holiday Dinner.
5 courses of wonderful food, each served with a beer matching the food perfectly.
I was pretty much hammered after the second beer. 
those bastards were picking on me and said I should be "fatcornelius" because my hands are hairy. At least my back isn't hairy you damn dirty ape haters.
There were waitresses in beer wench outfits. 
Not the most progressive, but what the hell. 
Diane isn't a beer person. In fact she pretty much hates it, but like a trouper she sampled each one.
Christmas eve we headed down to catch up with Diane's family. Our youngest nephew and I often wrestle and play around. When I first got to the house, he ran up to me and said, "Hi Uncle Fatmarc!" and proceeded to punch me in my junk as hard as he could, laugh and run away. 
It was the most direct and painful shot to the junk I have had in years. He thought it was so funny he got me two more times during the night when I was least expecting it. I'm gonna have to teach that kid a rear choke hold or something.
Christmas has my brother down from NE to stay with me, and catch up with the rest of my family at my parent's place.
The day was pretty great, but reinforced how freakin' crazy my family is. 
Just think I could have been a miniature schnauzer. I am after all an evil son of an ape.
Ah the holidays, can't run, can't hide. Just drink yourself silly.
It was wonderful having kids around my place Christmas morning, that was pretty freakin' awesome. 
It was great to see everyone. The kids loved Diane's new teletubie suit!
Friday saw me finally get back on the bike. A couple of us slipped over to Fairhill which was nice and frozen early on. As the day wore on it started to get a little sloppy, and we quickly headed for the fire roads and the loop home. I crashed once riding a silly stunt and knocked my wheel out of true.
here are some truths about me:
(1) I am a total son of a bitch, and evil. I should have been a dog or an ape.
(2) I eat out every night. We are considering just taking our kitchen out of the house.
(3) I am bitter and never funny.
(4) I hate sarcasm.
(5) I'm looking forward to anonymous comments saying I'm ruining the trails that I rode when they were frozen.
(6) I am an ass.
But your are reading this blog so you already know all of that. That's probably what keeps you coming back for more.
happy holidays Folks thanks for reading!
Looking forward to a nice donut ride in the morning.
respect
fatmarc
4 comments:
Punch in the junk... funny.
A young second cousin of mine - Cousin M - is male, 11 yrs old and moderately developmentally disabled. Not sure what he suffers from; it's like autism, sort of. He just can't relate to people or pay attention or seem to learn anything. So at the big family picnic in NY last year, he's acting sort of social for a change - his momma says they've got his drugs straightened out and although school is still horrorshow, he can at least relate to people now. We're all thrilled to hear it; little M has had such a tough time for the past couple years. Moments later, little cousin M says to big cousin N - 50, male, esteemed physician, bon vivant - "Uncle N, I have a joke to tell you!" Uncle N, being a man of good cheer, says, "Let's have it, M!" Little cousin M winds up, punches Cousin N right in the balls. Cousin N drops like he was shot, and lays there in the grass moaning and throwing up Labatts and sausages. Little cousin M's momma, without missing a beat, goes, "You see, he's really improving. He never used to tell jokes."
Merry Christmas, Marc.
Those look like big pours, man.
I can never do beer dinners because they're never vegetarian. It sucks.
U R Runing the trails for everyone man . . . .
Happy Holidays!
FJ
You hate sarcasm? Is that some sort of double secret fake irony? I am totally confused. Now get you presumably hairy ass off the frozen trails that you're ruining!
ROCK
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