201:warthog

5:45am Sunday morning.
Diane and I are speeding up I95 north headed for the Delaware Memorial Bridge and HPCX. I am enjoying a fine Duncan Donuts flat bread sandwich with bacon and cheese. It is still dark out side, but I think to myself that the sandwich is messy.

6:15 am Sunday morning.
Diane and I are speeding up the NJ turnpike headed for HPCX. The sun has come up and it is no longer dark. Diane looks over at me the way that only a wife can look at her husband as they speed off to a bike race early in the morning. She says to me, "do you know you have a slice of bacon on your leg?"
I look down, sure enough on my thigh is a slice of bacon, that must have fallen out of my fine flat bread sandwich from Duncan Donuts. I smile at my lovely wife and comment, " well, no I didn't know that was there, how fortuitous for me." I pick up the slice of bacon and eat it.

Beacon
I love this race. I came in with high hopes. First time on to the beach, I got tangled up with a dude who prematurely exited his bike. This can be a problem when we were 3rd and 4th wheel. I take full responsibility, I have been taken out early in sand before, I should have given myself some space or at least a way out. My bad. When trying to pick up my bike Colin S. came by at full speed and laid me out. If I didn't know better I'd say Colin has a side job as office linebacker. That quickly, less than a lap, my race changed for the worse.
I was way off, and pretty much angry. Yeah, really angry. The rest of the race all I could remember was thinking, "fuck, fuck, fuck... kill, kill, kill..." Not my style. I am not a good racer when I race emotionally. It was a hard day. I fought back into the top 10 only to crash in the final two laps. Cam Mancuso was a fine traveling partner as we both tried to work ourselves back into the game. Then my bike stopped shifting and thankfully Sweet Johnny and Monkey had a bike in the pit for me. End result, actually a ride I'm proud of, finishing 10th, even though I had more than that in the tank. I was really angry, and really frustrated about my start. I couldn't shake my grumpiness.
HPCX.
Started the race. Bobbled on a root. Bounced off of 5 people, still pissed from yesterday, decided I wasn't having fun, was not enjoying my frame of mind, and frankly I quit. I rode into the pit got off my bike, took my helmet off and walked back to my car. Monkey asked me in the pit, "are you sure?" I nodded my head. "are you really sure, come on babe..." I was done.

I usually pride myself in having heart, in riding out bad days, in having guts. Today I failed on all accounts. In hind site I wasted so much energy being pissed Saturday during my race, racing emotionally, and then continuing to be upset, that frankly when I went to the well Sunday, it was dry.
I am really embarrassed.

I do this for fun. I love this, but today, today I was a shell of myself.
So that's all I'll say about that.

Monkey had 2 solid good rides pulling out a 10th Saturday and 9th Sunday.

I know I am part of a pretty special team. Anyone can be your teammate when you are riding well. I really appreciate the support, hugs, and voices of support I got from my friends and teammates when I was clearly far from my best.

Props to meatball and zach for breakout rides this weekend...

Thanks to Mike Kirk for some beacon shots.

Thanks for reading. See you all in Trenton.

I'm gonna have more fun next week.

respect.
fatmarc