This is my teammate Bad Andy:
This is me:
I am Ginormous. Ugh.
This is a my bikereg.com mug.
I won this mug as a prime last year during cross season. Frankly it is one of the best things I have ever won and for the bulk of the year it has delivered sweet warm coffee to my lips in the morning and cold refreshing water in the afternoon.
Recently, I placed said coffee mug in our company’s dishwasher because it was getting a little gross. Alas when I had come back to get my now clean bikereg.com mug, it was gone. We have a pretty open kitchen, and have plenty of mugs, forks, and knifes that get used by the kitchen masses. It is a pretty socialist company, at least in the kitchen. So at first I wasn’t worried.
Weeks have past and alas my bikereg.com mug has not come back. I sent a few company wide emails looking for it. I’ve check the cabinets and slyly check out anyone who I see drinking from a mug that might sort of look like my bikereg.com mug.
Maybe my bikereg.com mug is now strung out on smack, and stripping in Vegas. Perhaps it’s now singing back up in a rock and roll band. Maybe it’s working for a presidential campaign or headed south to help with the hurricane relief effort. Maybe it’s just sitting on the floor in someone’s car.
Perhaps it has gone to the land of lost items. My Aqualad action figure mysteriously went missing when I was 11. My fat fuck brother swore he knew nothing about it.
Six months later I found my Aqualad action figure. My rat fuck brother had dismembered him. I sure hope my bikereg.com mug hasn’t been dismembered. For now I am stuck carrying this old thing: 
Recently, I placed said coffee mug in our company’s dishwasher because it was getting a little gross. Alas when I had come back to get my now clean bikereg.com mug, it was gone. We have a pretty open kitchen, and have plenty of mugs, forks, and knifes that get used by the kitchen masses. It is a pretty socialist company, at least in the kitchen. So at first I wasn’t worried.
Weeks have past and alas my bikereg.com mug has not come back. I sent a few company wide emails looking for it. I’ve check the cabinets and slyly check out anyone who I see drinking from a mug that might sort of look like my bikereg.com mug.
Maybe my bikereg.com mug is now strung out on smack, and stripping in Vegas. Perhaps it’s now singing back up in a rock and roll band. Maybe it’s working for a presidential campaign or headed south to help with the hurricane relief effort. Maybe it’s just sitting on the floor in someone’s car.
Perhaps it has gone to the land of lost items. My Aqualad action figure mysteriously went missing when I was 11. My fat fuck brother swore he knew nothing about it.
Six months later I found my Aqualad action figure. My rat fuck brother had dismembered him. I sure hope my bikereg.com mug hasn’t been dismembered. For now I am stuck carrying this old thing: I wore a long sleeve jersey on my ride tonight. Not because I had to, but because it felt kinda crossy, and looked damn pimpy. Cross is coming my friends, cross is coming fast...
respect
fatmarc
10 comments:
My favorite power rangers hat went missing in kindergarten......people suck.
THe other day I held a solitary cross practice in the pouring ass raing. I mean a down right down pour. I had my ls skinsuit and a longsleeve jersey. I was very cozy and very crossy. My brakes didn't work too good.....mmmm i love cross. I miss it. I'm excited. If only I had my hat....
Marc-
That's funny- I have a similiar coffee cup story. I had mine for 15 years and lost it. I sent out a company wide e-mail, and now it's being held for ransom for 3 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts. I feel your pain....
-Trevor
Dude, in 99% of all of life's activities it is better to be your size than BA's.
If you want, I can email you every time somebody asserts dominance over me because I am also a little guy.
found your mug it went to dizzneyland to flip off president george
Doc
re: "i'm ginormous"
bullcrap. well, maybe. but look at the picture... you're actually closer to the camera. don't draw any conclusions based on that photo.
>>>It is a pretty socialist company
Well, there's your f***in' problem. They think everything is communally owned, so somebody just kiped it. Or, appropriated the means of coffee delivery for the benefit of the proletariat. Man, civilized society is only possible when built on a bedrock of respect for private property rights - I stand with Milton Friedman, dead, somewhat moldering, but still smarter than most top end investment bankers Milton Friedman - on this point. Or, as would be said in the vernacular, ya gotta respect other people's shit.
BTW, I don't want to hear it about how fat you are. Even if I was dead skinny, I'd outweigh you by probably 25 - 30 pounds. I know that's a total "then I met a man with no feet" sort of comparison, but damn dude, if 185 pound Dominique Rollin can win the KOM at Tour of Missouri without complaining, you can win a cross race.
LMAO! The punchline photo to this was hysterical!
Listen, they say when we come to love and depend on something like that, it will get taken away from us by the divine or whatever you want to call it so that we can learn to live without it.
I will miss helping out and seeing you guys race this weekend. Soon enough... I hope. Good Luck!
Look on the bright side about your mug. Maybe a true fat F*** has looked up BikeReg.com and might do a race or two ;-)
Or maybe he will come to one of your cross races and drink from your mug... right in your face.
Just horrible... hope you get it back.
CROSSS!!!!!! IT's here man. jsut raced on sunday. I'm pumped.
are you going to be at Gloucester and granogue? maybe we'll run into each other.
get ready for the barriers!
CJ
my $3 old navy fleece.
perfect for climbing.
nice snug fit, high elasticized waist to accomodate harness and gear. zip up for quick removal half-way up a climb. upper zipper covered with a perfect little felt-like piece to keep a chin from chapping. perfect depth hand pockets...good for warming frozen fingies...
gone.
I must've spent a couple of hundred bucks trying to replace that damned $3 fleece.
no good. no good. nothing's the same.
I miss you, lil' fleece.
rest well....
wherever you are.
ps. as for you being ginormous...pssssh-awww! you look beastly in that photo, indeed...
but in an, "I'll protect my wife and dogs with my life and large limbs" way.
good stuff.
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