episode 146: Chunky Monkey vs. Cranky Monkey

Last weekend our posse loaded up the trailer and hit the road headed down to the Quantico Marine Base in Triangle Virgina for the inaugural 12hrs of Cranky Monkey. I will admit that I was especially concerned with this trip, as our group can be a bit rowdy, and a little bit obnoxious, albeit in a fun, and a kind manner.

When at Friday night's dinner Rotten Rob commented to the table next to ours, " hi kids, I sure as hell didn't come from a stork." adding " dirty sanchez- ask your mom about that one..." and Levi was feeling no pain as he started the "I love you mans", and a gymnastic demonstration in the Bike Line Parking lot, I had my fears that our antics might end up with one of us on the wrong end of Marine's fist. (Semper Fi)

However, the Marines, the hotel staff, the cranky monkey staff, the waitress at Kate's, every toll collector from hear to Virgina, the waitress at the restaurant who had only been hit on once since she was married and quadrupled that Saturday night, her husband, everyone all seemed to pick up the vibe of our group and seemed to laugh at us, or along with us, either way it was all good. At least we always tip very well.

My team, Rotten Rob, Monkey (Diane) and I took the name Frank Zappa Kappa for our own "old school" like service organization, the mountain bike branch of the Delaware Cyclocross Coalition of Delaware, which was in full effect this weekend. After shitting the bed a bit at the old Stoopid 50, I'll admit I was worried about how I would ride. I was probably a bit over trained and under rested in state college, but I was confident.

Conversely, this weekend I was coming in somewhat concerned how I would perform. Mayhew had me with a very light week, which was very nice. As many of you know I kinda gave up drinking in January, but decided last week to re-apply my efforts, and I jumped in with two feet. I am such a two can Sam. It was sweet. Let me say if you are falling off the wagon, no one is a better person to catch you than buddy the keg breaker.

But I digress, with a couple of days off of work last week, I spent some time with an excel spread sheet and imaginary lap times, trying to devise a strategy within the Cranky Monkey guidelines, that would allow our team success. The plan became what we would refer to the 5-4-3 plan: Faticus Marcus with 5 laps, Rotten Rob with 4, and Chunky Monkey with 3. I felt strongly in our field of 9 teams, if we could nail down 12 laps, it would be a great day for us. In the end it was.

Rob was a fabulous opener, and got me on to the course as the 5 place rider, and from there I hooked up with Jan, and E-town, only to realize if I tried to climb with them, I would implode. The three of us were a Wednesday hills from hell nightmare, a train of death if you will, and frankly I thought it would kill me. So I hopped off on one of the steep gravelly climbs, and let them go. Confidence my friend is a beautiful thing when you have it, self-doubt can be a ball breaker.

The race rolled on, Monkey who battled race gut and boo boo belly all day, rode great, 3 consistent laps, the first and the third identical times, the middle just 3 minutes off of that.

Rotten Rob may have been the revelation of the race. I'll admit, I did not expect to see him ripping in to the transition quite as fast as he did. He was simply awesome. I have been amazed at how much growth he has shown and how much stronger he has gotten. I can't speak for him, but from my observation, this was his best race ever. I could take this opportunity to point out this was his first time racing a Spot Brand 29er, but that might just be over the top.

As for my monkey, I couldn't be prouder of her, she is really hard on herself and tends to shrink into a shell during these events, preferring to suffer in her own world. Again, I am so proud with her growth, having not raced a bike in 5 years, to getting herself to be a very strong middle distance endurance racer/crosser. A year ago, she could not have performed at the level she did yesterday. She proudly commented to me last night before we finally went to bed, "no woman passed me on the course this weekend, I was steadily picking them off, you know except for Amy, but you know she doesn't really count..."

As for me, I started to get my groove back for sure. I didn't start out confident, and I was sure I was gonna have a major crack at some point, but in the end I didn't. I felt pretty good. Not fast, Not incredible, but steady and consistent. I have good fitness, but I am not sharp, I can be better. That's something to strive for. Still my greatest strength has always been consistency, and I think my laps : First lap 49 and some change, subsequent laps falling in the 52-53ish range demonstrate that. Yeah, I can live with that.

At the end of the day, only one other team could match our plan, "gripped films" made up of Jon and Tracy Posner and Ken Bell. We battled back and forth, but at the end of the day, they finished 9 minutes faster than us, with both teams walking away with 12 laps. The way I looked at it, each one of us gave our best, we worked our plan, and at the end of the day, their team was faster than us, kudos to them. Furthermore, I am a huge Jon Posner fan, and the fact that the two teams, who kinda pulled away early, had each other to race, and push each other, made the day that much more fun.

As for the rest of the DCCoD: Tom (papa smurf) knocked himself out during the pre-ride (pretty much literally), Mayhew and E-town took the single speed duo class, E-town rode an inspirated race. Surly Bob and Buddy the Keg Breaker took second in that class, Levi, who I suspect was bitten by a zombie, won the open solo class, Jamie and Amy Brey La La (the super duper duo) won the co-ed division, Jamie was kind enough to ride with me during my last lap as we ripped the single track, he did drop me on the final big climb, but that was cool.

Amazin' Andrew making his first race of the year count, took 5th in the open solo class bouncing back from a rough spring, and two flats on the final lap. Yeah he's 56, and kicking ass, further cementing reports that he is actually a robot from the future sent to dominate endurance events. Frankly, the look of joy on his face looking at the final results, might have been my favorite moment of the day.

Fitzy was 5th in the solo single speed class. Wes the Conqueror and Matt (peaches) took the men's duo class and the entire race with 14 amazing laps. Their team name was peaches and chocolate. Blair Blair and Jan held off a hard charging D&Q team to take the silver medal. Wes earned the fastest lap of the race at 43 minutes. And in the highest tribute of respect, and admiration of a teammate, Buddy and Wes got in just before the cut off to make sure the Bob and Matt got that final lap in.

Special Thanks to Meghan (smurfette) who again juggled 6 teams, and made sure everyone made their transitions and ate, and kept on rolling. She feels bad that she can't work on bikes. I'll have Roger give her a clinic before the next big one. Thanks to Tom who really had the vision for all of this including a completely independent set up for our solo riders staffed by Jenny- Andrew's wife.

Thanks to my DccoD teammates, my Spot Brand/Twin Six teammates, for really an outstanding and incredibly fun and exhausting weekend. This was very good stuff. As always it was great to see Jason at the race; being a stepteammate and all...

Anti-Zombie technique: remember that zombies can't swim, but don't need oxygen to survive, if you chuck them into a body of water, make sure it is deep enough to insure they will not be able to reach up and grab you, or tip your boat. Additionally, they will decompose at a normal rate, so make sure they do it at the bottom of of the body of water. Finally, if you have a choice for your zombie tossing, use a deep lake, or quarry, as chucking a zombie into a river may result in further infestation. There are numerous cases of zombies washing up down stream and infecting another town.

respect.
fm