episode 138: steady as it goes

I had a little melt down this week. Too much stress in the world, most of which I put on myself.

I let a good friend down badly, but thankfully that is behind us now. I am a pretty passionate, and emotional fellow. I was pretty wrecked.

Truthfully really needed to just break away for a bit. I think I'm a bit burnt mentally after granogue and I have been working very hard lately. In fact you might say I've been macking.

I never intended to be some jabba the hut or something, I love my community and never want to be a decisive figure in it. Guess I should stop calling people the Darth Ying huh? I can be a bastard, I do believe there is a right way and a wrong way to play this game. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. I don't want to be one of the heather's and have christian slater trying to kill me.

Someone told me this week I have the coolest table in the cafeteria to sit at, so be it, let it roll.
When did that happen, I'm the skaterfag that all the jocks checked into lockers. I'm the dude, chicks laughed at. come as you are mother fuckers... come as you are...

He also said that if you really care about people from time to time there will be some heartache.
wise man he is, glad to count him as a good friend. Too much heartache this week, too much.

He told me some other stuff that was so nice, I welled up a bit. Like I said, it's been a rough week. He'll have to speak at my funeral, you know in 70 years or so from now.

Did some time in fairhill, just racking up miles, flowing through the single track, all solo and feeling fast like. Sometimes a solitary trail ride can solve the worlds problems.

Mayhew gave me a tough mission this morning. I felt like ass, I couldn't believe it, but I just keep pushing. I was sure, as bad as I felt that my power numbers would be crap compared to last week. Which was basically the same work out, same hill, and I felt damn near invincible.

Low and behold at every point, my numbers were up this week. Every fucking point. I stopped using all gizmos because I paid too much attention to them, Mayhew wanted me to try something, and damn today it was cool to see that suffering was worth it. More power at every fucking point. Sweet. I wonder what a single speed power tap wheel will run me?

Don asked for my feedback on the switchblade fork. Let me say this, I like the surly fork that I had been using. It's a lot like me, a little overweight, but steady and consistent. It's a little flexible, and no where near bling, but it gets the job done. The switch blade is pretty damn nice. Lighter, stiffer, faster. I love the way it makes the bike handle. It was fast before, but now it really makes the Gay UPS Truck carve. So yeah I like it, I think it's less forgiving than the ole monkey fork, but it turns really nice, and it's much lighter. And dude, it looks so fucking sweet on my bike. Which after all is key, if you can't be fast, might as well look fast right?

Monkey, FFA and I did a ride with one of the local teams tonight. Nice group of folks, fun ride. Had the feeling like the ride leader was trying to rip my legs off for the first 50 minutes or so. But Dennis Bike, Diane and Amy finally went to the front and brought some sanity back to my world. Perhaps payback for past indiscretions on my part. What ever I did to anyone I'm sorry. Jesus, that hurt. And was mean. I'm just a harmless fatkid, with a bad haircut. No need to try and kill me in the woods. The ride was very fun. I was grateful to be a guest, and really had a good time. Thanks Team Deep Blue.

anyway, this post was pretty lame, I'm pretty tired. I'm doing another century this weekend. I need the miles. I'm pretty scared of the Stoopid 50. Course reports are giving me nightmares.
I feel like some how another century will make me feel better. What's the time cut off for the 50?

did you see Zach's sweet prom pictures?

Stay in school.

respect.
fm