chapter 100: the end of fatmarc?

P1010281
Originally uploaded by realfatmarc.

Did you ever feel like you took it as far as you could?
That something you started to do for fun, has gone too far?
Have you ever felt like maybe, just maybe you jumped the shark?

Maybe it was the idea of my parent's and in laws reading about my eurostyled pubic hair. Maybe it was that I read another blog that is really nothing more than a self centered whimsical philosophical jerk off, and saw too much of myself in that toxic mess. Well folks that's where I was with fatmarc.com last week. Maybe it was because I wasn't eating, maybe it was because I felt like it became something I never intended it to be. Has fatmarc become my doppleganger?

I shared with a few folks my thoughts of killing fatmarc. No one agreed with me. Can bruce banner kill the hulk? Can hal jordan stop being green lantern? Some suggested that I write some story, with a horrible ending and some staged pictures. Some said I should put something up that there would be no blogging for a month, and then quietly delete the blog.

I am pretty lucky, my site software tells me that some 350 people stop by each day to see what is going on in my life. I wonder how much productivity companies have lost because of me?

Those people could be anywhere in the world, but for whatever reason they decided to stop by and read about my life, my friends, my bikes. I greatly appreciate that. That is pretty damn cool. Thank you.

In the beginning I wanted this to be a vehicle for all of the silly emails I sent to my friends on the wooden wheels list, or to my friends Michael and Jessica at Spot. Then Gwadzilla started me on the blog path and I stopped sending the emails; all my energy was on the blog.

Early on I had a formula that I followed:
Talk about a ride, a movie and food.
Use nick names so as to not use anyone's real name on the site : protect the innocent kind of stuff.

Slowly that changed. Some where along the line, people started to recognize me, and my friends. Blog Famous is what Slick Rick called it. That was a little weird, although I admit nothing is cooler than traveling to a cross race and having people cheer "go fatmarc" when really I don't know anyone at the race.

Last week, I felt like it was time to end this, to just walk away. Maybe I'd start a new anonymous blog, with no pressure to post, only a venue for me to express some thoughts, and talk about some rides or not talk about cycling at all. I love spankys blog for all of those reasons. I am always intrigued by the guys who blog secretly. I think that my blog has painted a picture of who I am, I hope my friends think that my blogself and my real self are pretty close. I hope my potty humor is easy to enjoy. I think I like that...

One buddy suggested that if nothing else keep it for the sponsors. I'll be honest I never intended for it to be a vehicle for sponsorship, but I'm also not naive enough to think that it didn't help me. Fatmarc gave me a chance to introduce who I was, what I liked, what I thought was funny, where a resume or a quick phone conversation can't display the same, "this is what you get with me" feeling. It also gave a direct link from a some dude, a mid pack never was, directly to some super cool brands.

Knowing my sponsors like I do now, I know that if fatmarc ends today, they would still back me. If they dropped me, then they might be even cooler than I thought. "sir you are not promoting enough potty humor in the world."

I want my sight to be thoughtful, I want my site to be funny, I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul. I want you to notice...

well we all know how that goes. In the end, I want fatmarc to be, fun. Fun for me to write, fun for you to read. I know no one wants to read about the 100 base mile ride I did today, one mile at a time. At the end of the day, I want this to be about the great experiences I have sharing my passion for racing, training with my community, eating too much of the wrong stuff, watching bad movies and having as much fun with monkey, my dogs and all my friends.

Maybe that is what this is all about. Maybe not. Maybe I just need to go eat more fish tacos. Some days I don't want to be the jackass. Alas, the sun will shine tomorrow. Wasn't that just a wonderful exercise in jabberwocky. Jason and Freddy never stay dead. I doubt this monster will either.

thank you, and good night.

respect.
fatmarc
your spotbrand-twin six whore
your fort frames factory rider
your proud secret henry's team bandit
your #2 of the Delaware Cyclocross Coalition of Delaware (we are all # twos)

chapter 93: beat me down again

So for Christmas in addition to my new shaving cream which I can't use because it smells badly, I got a new hair volumizer. I thought that meant a new shampoo. So this morning I squeeze the bottle and realize that the volumizer was a little thicker than shampoo. I tried lather it up in my hair, only it was really sticky. I couldn't even get it all the way through my hair. Looking in my shaving mirror I did realize that I had shampoo horns from hell. So here I have this goo in my hand that I think is shampoo, but clearly is awful for shampoo, so I figure it must be some kind of shower gel and proceed to try and lather up my body. Nothing zippo, except now my entire body feels sticky, and suddenly itchy, I start to break out all over. I glance at my pubes and realize they have been styled into a wicked faux hawk, total euro style.

My entire body itches so much I scream a little, like a small child. Then I pick up my new horrible shampoo and realize with horror that this isn't shampoo, but hair gel. I grab the bar of dial and start scrubbing everything. I think I got it all off, but I'm scared. Message to santa, no new bathroom products next year, I am too retarded to use them.

Very good ride last weekend, Todd (el presidente) maestroed, with Buddy the leg breaker in tow. K-man and Green Trek John helped keep the boys at the front honest. The trails in white clay were frozen solid and superhero fast. Todd reciprocated by keeping a high tempo for the first hour. After coming down the border trail some of the boys in the groupetto, trailing the leaders just slightly (alan the cleaner, Kurtee, Matt Run Forrest, Spot Paul, dennisbike, me and Fitzy boy), started to look a bit like zombies, and it was awfully quiet for this usually chatty bunch.

The boys at the front backed it off a bit and we were able to roll out a very nice second hour hitting primarily the trails of middle run. It's all part of riding in a group. That was nice. At the end of the ride, I was cold, but smiling from ear to ear. Saw a group of like 40 Guy's Bikes guys out. That was impressive.

On the movie front this weekend we watched two: Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic and Superman Returns. Better than our haul the two previous weeks. Silverman is funny, but is really less of a movie than a show case for her standup. The band is good, and I swear the drummer is Laura from Trophy bikes. Superman was a well done comic book movie. There was a time when I was a pretty big comic book geek, so I enjoy these movies, I admit I never was a Superman guy, although this was worth the watch. I appreciate the mythology of Superman, I just always questions the excitement of a hero who is basically unbeatable.

respect
fm

chapter 31: a bad day for pussy

During my ride today, heading into Fairhill, and on the short journey from the trail end to my front door, I past not one, not two, but three frozen solid dead assed cats on the side of the road.

It was kinda weird. Made me think that for a moment it must have been cat hunting season, you know with trucks here in Cecil County. At first I thought the third one was a raccoon, but after closer inspection it was indeed a cat. Poor little frozen face.

I was on this cleansing diet for a while. To me that meant I better have the right supplies. The old one ply they have at work just wouldn't get it done, especially if the diet proved to be as cleansing as I thought it might. Luckily, it wasn't. But I digress, I took in my own roll of double ply in for comfort reasons. You might remember I have a sensitive ass. I used it a couple of times, and put it in my cubby for safe keeping at the ole clog factory.

Friday morning, after doing some business in the executive conference room, I looked down on the roll, to find my roll of double ply all hooked up, and down to the final few squares. WTF!!! You know it's bad enough when some bastard steals my hungry man chicken fried steak and potatoes out of the freezer, or my encore family size egg plant parm, but to take a man's double ply TP is way, way over the line. I think I'm gonna have a camera installed over my cubby. God damn Toilet paper thieves.

There have been a number of questions in the last couple of months asking me to put up some bike poor and talk about my bikes. So here they are :

Gay UPS Truck by SPOT BRAND

Meanie Greenie by SPOT BRAND

Baby Bike by Howard Brown;

A Bike by FORT FRAMES

B Bike by FORT FRAMES

Tool by FIL

Fixie by Cannondale and McDonald's drive thru

I'm not really a tech guy so I couldn't really tell you the stuff I have on them, or even how much they weigh. I really love all of them, and Rick and Roger at Henry's take loving care of them when I knock them around so much that they need that kind of attention. The spots ride like a dream, the forts are an advantage on the cross course, everything else has a job to do, and they all perform them flawlessly. Not to much bling bling, I save that for my toaster.

respect.

fatmarc

chapter 18: a walk in the woods.

got a new shaving cream in my stocking for Christmas. I used it for the first time this morning. I'll admit it left my face a little more soft, and perhaps a little more smooth than my usual shaving cream (soap). The issue is this : I don't really care for the smell of my face, I mean how the cream makes my face smell. I catch a whiff of it and I look around, like for sure someone has invaded my personal space or something. I mean it has to be the someone else, or maybe someone is looking over my shoulder, then I realize it was just me. It's a little disturbing.

Diane and I went into town last night and hit the Sante Fe Mexican Restaurant. If you know Newark, it's the joint that has MEXICAN PICNIC over the door. I think that was the old owners and the new owner never got around to taking down that really bad sign. Good burritos, Bad marketing. I had a steak burrito, Diane went with blackened chicken. a good burrito just makes a person smile. really good jalapenos too.

Tonight's ride was supreme. There were 3 large groups riding the system tonight. All were friendly, but we were the kings. Was it because we were the fastest ? no. Does it mean anything that arguably anyone in our group tonight could be listed as one of our areas ten best riders? no. Am I a small fish in a tiny pond? oh yeah. Was it because I pipped Dan the man in sprint at the end? no It's because we are PIMPS.

For a change I won't give you a role call, but know it was cooler than you can imagine. Yeah it was that good....

Todd (el presidente) was maestro. I have ridden every trail he took us on tonight, but I swear the guy links together sections, puts together loops better than anyone I ever get to ride with, simply the best. I don't think we missed a single inch of trail tonight.

I rode the Gay UPS TRuck tonight, a Spot Brand 29er. I love that bike so much, it was so divine. After a week of dieting hard, and of pushing a geared bike around, because I needed all the gear I could get, to ride the Spot was ridiculously fun. It just made me grin from ear to ear. I felt like I was flowing so well tonight, climbing the bike was quick, and jumped to crest little hills. I was ecstatic. Simply the best ride I have done this year. I love that bike, great group tongiht, it was just that good.

respect
fm

chapter 22 : Rider Opinion of the Month:

Brent and Ryan, the good men at TWIN SIX asked me to write something up for the ROOTM page on their website. I was honored. It's a little weird, a little outside of fatmarc, but for those who know me, it's pretty close to home. I had started doing something different, and it evolved into why I keep riding bikes, despite being a small fish in a small pond. I hope you like it :

ROOTM

there are some sweet pictures of my in my formative cycling years. Ah the spot class rules, and my first cross bike, that was fun to ride for sure. In other news, my diet is over. I had fish tacos last night and a fine steak burrito today. FOOD RULES!

Thinking about getting a blackberry, or black jack or a treo or something. my cell phone is crapping out, and I'd dig getting email on my phone. Anythoughts? Maybe I should just get a pager an rock out late 80's style.

Winter finally got here, and I'm really cold, but the trails should be super sweet, can't wait to ride the gay ups truck tomorrow night. It's gonna be killer.

schedules are starting to come out, starting to make a plan. it's gonna be a very nice year.

I hear Bob got his bike. I can't wait to see it. Also notice the conquorer has stepped into the ring.

respect
fm

chapter 92: intensity

chapter 76: quest for fire

A small group of us headed out on the moist and foggy roads today to a very nice ride: a donut ride.













Dan the man knew that Diane and I had been dieting pretty hard, and the donut ride was something I started looking forward to mid week.








We had a very nice group with Dan (the man), Michael (Jan), Diane (monkey), Ethan (e-town), Rob (ntntamfmb20), Jeff, Lisa (lisa), (Spot) Paul, Chuck (FIL) and I (fm). It was a DCCoD road ride if you will. Dan was on his single speed road bike, Rob, Jeff, Paul, and Lisa were on fixed gears. I considered it, but then thought about how I have been mentally brain dead this week, and went with the antique road bike. Fixed gear takes a lot of focus for my weak skills.









It was again very warm and foggy. we did our best to behave ourselves out on route 100. We always tightened up when cars would pass.














when we got to the Northbrook Orchard store Lisa was happy to show us around a bit.

















I had followed my diet religiously, on some days not eating enough so I rewarded myself with two of these really, awesome, outstanding, incredible donuts. They were really good.

















I'll admit I really wanted this awesome pecan pie. next week, mr. pie, I'm coming for you.










Then it was back on the road, headed for home.














Northbrook Donuts make me really happy. That was easily the best thing I have eaten this week

Diane and I were pretty bonked by the time we got back, we were both grateful for the support we got from the group to get home. Thanks guys.













E-town was pimping in his new road shoes.

The white foot of Saron? Have we gone too far?


respect
fm

chapter 30: I rule the mic like a fascist

"Can't settle for nothing less, trying to prove myself since I was born."

"If I could I'd stop caring, I don't like hearing I'm not good enough."


167 is what the scale read when I woke up this morning. That's 8 lbs since Monday for those of you scoring at home.Truth is I am not really all that hungry. I just don't feel good. I feel tired. I slipped into wrestling mode a bit yesterday, as with a super busy day at work, I didn't eat enough. Yeah read that again, I didn't eat enough and skipped 2 almonds, and half an apple by the end of the day. I felt kinda sick when I fell asleep on the couch last night.I stood up to get off the couch this morning and I fell over. I hoped Diane didn't hear my crashing into the shelf, but she did. I have been very prone to head rushes.

Did the Queen B today. It was a small group as the lance armstong effect guys don't ride if the conditions aren't perfect. That was okay with me, if some guy who wants this to be his weekly race stayed home, it made the pace better, and I could hang on then. It was a fine group today Rob (ntntamfmb20), Bianchi Mike, Fitzy, Dennisbike, Jaime, Nancy and Lauri (the said queen b's) We set a nice pace. Like I said everyone knew what they were doing and no one was trying to prove their manhood on this B ride. A good day I guess. I don't enjoy the road, but it was too wet to trail ride, and I don't have the gas to push the mtb I don't think. Oh well. All of this will pay off shortly. If you do what you have always done, you will get what you always get.

Watched 2 movies. First Black Dalhia which I was excited to see, which was pretty awful, I had such high expectations too. That was just depressing. Second was BeerFest, which was just a bad idea, I kept waiting for it to get funny and it never did. The supertrooper guys did this? Awful. Blockbuster should give me my money back for that one.

Tomorrow the donut/coffee ride with Dan the man and company. That will be fun. I will be substituting the donut for an apple, okay maybe one donut.

Eat, Drink and Be Merry folks for tomorrow we die. 100% everyday, that's what this is all about right? Never leave it unsaid, always do your best. love your family, your friends and your monkey, just not too close with my monkey.

So if you didn't eat for a little while, what would be the first thing that you ate, when you started eating again?

respect
fm