Heard the race today went well. Good, my peeps they have been working hard. I can't imagine racing right now. But I'm working on that. Anyway, Gonna rest now, this update was just to get something new on the page. Hincapie done good today. I'm gonna ride with James in the morning. Have a nice night folks. Now for another shot of cough medicine.

I’m sick. Got some bronchitis and the flu that is going around, as a result I have been on my back basically since Sunday night. Figures most beautiful weather we have had all year, and I’m stuck on the couch in my polar bear pajamas. For the record, I don’t have matching sox. Blah.

Before I was totally knocked out and thought I just had a cold, I was looking for this stuff called Airborne that is supposed to be the bomb for colds. I was at my 6th pharmacy before I could find any. I finally find it and I couldn’t find the directions, so I popped one in my mouth, and quickly realized that this is not how this is supposed to be taken. Airborne, like Alka-seltzer should be dropped into a glass of water. I realize this as my mouth fills with a fizz and Airborne drool slides out the side of my mouth, I think, great. Just great. I look out my car window to see the guy next to me laughing. I’m sick and now I’m a jackass for this guy. I hate being sick. Every time I start to feel better on the bike, something weird happens. Form comes with persistence.

Respect
FM

sideburns, riding myself retarded, and the yoga card

Lefty...

I have long been a purveyor of sideburns. Perhaps it traces back to when I was 17, and it was the first facial hair I could grow. 90210 was pretty big back then and lots of chicks were into the Brandon and Dylan thing. Maybe it was because together with my angry outlook on the world at that time, my short cropped hair and sideburns, I looked kinda tough, so no one would really screw with me, when I shot off my loud mouth.

Over the years, my sideburns have taken many different forms. Early on, I was shy about letting them get past my ears. Back then I kept them pretty skinny. I have since dropped all reservations about skinny and allowed my sideburns to get nice and fat. At various times, I have gone a little Elvis with them, allowing points to creep out towards the center of my face. I've tried the goatee thing to compliment them, and I love allowing them to meet in a beard during the fall. Hell, I've had a soul patch or two to complete the set.

Kevin....

It might not have been until I named my sideburns, that I realized my fixation with them. I read somewhere that Luke Wilson names his eyebrows, Lefty and Kevin. And basically when he acts depending on the emotion he is portraying he will work his eyebrows differently. Go watch Old School now, you'll have a whole new set of things to laugh at.

For me, the one consistent thing about Lefty and Kevin, you know my sideburns, has been that they are always a little different. Sometimes, Kevin will be working a little harder and has a little more length than Lefty. Sometimes Lefty just has a much stronger point going, much more traditional Elvis. I recognize that in the grooming of Lefty and Kevin, I have failed to keep my sideburns identical at times. I almost look at it that Lefty and Kevin both have a right to express themselves in their own way, make there own statement. I'd hate to take that freedom of expression away from them. Once I tried to grow a full on motorhead, and let Lefty and Kevin meet on my top lip. Yeah, Diane wasn't having that. You know, so although I'll do my best to keep Lefty and Kevin in the same ballpark, please let me know if I've crossed over eras in sideburns, or if my boys, Lefty and Kevin have become too different. You know, after all they are a team, and they do have to work together.

Notice how Chunky Monkey coordinates star sox and star pajamas... That's Sexy.

Hard ride today. I rode with tough men. I could not characterize myself as a tough guy today. I needed 3:30 to make my goal for the week. Rolled into Newark and met up with Brent (ty domi of cross), Slick Rick, Matty T, and Buddy the leg breaker. We headed out to do the Queen B loop. The headwind was brutal. 3 of those four guys ride with a bar fight mentality. They fire a haymaker, land a punch, sit back, and see if anyone fires back, when they do get hit, the turn around and punch harder than before. And in real life, if I was gonna be in a bar fight, I wouldn't mind have Biddle, Buddy or Matt T on my side. Sorry Rick, you're a little dude.

Rick was likely the strongest rider today, Buddy launched a couple of strong attacks through Black Snake Road. Matt was consistently strong but I never felt good, I took a couple of pulls, but Biddle knew I was in trouble. He commented "don't pull so long." He knew I was in trouble.

I really love this picture... It's better than porn.

Two and a half hours in, I started riding myself retarded again. Seriously, for the 3rd time this spring, I have ridden myself until I can't think. Pain starts in my hands, my toes, my line of vision shrinks up, every muscle in my body screams out. Basically, I ride myself until I don't even feel human. Today, I lucked out, when I felt my brain capacity going south I was able to turn off on to 273 and head home. I ended up with 3:00 of saddle time today. Then I played the yoga card.

Early on, I was advised that core work outs and yoga, would count towards my weekly total for hours. So as I stumbled into the house, and lay on the kitchen floor, Diane looked down on me and asked if I was okay. I answered, in a slurred punch drunk manner, "I'm playing the yoga card." You see Diane and I had done a yoga dvd for 30 minutes the other night, that I hadn't worked into my plan for the week. Alas, broken, feeling retarded, sure that my legs must be swollen because they hurt so much. I played the yoga card, and made my goal for the week.

Kirkwood Road Race...

I think I had these in my water bottles...

With a bell full of nachos and Iron Hill black and tans, I headed out to the Kirkwood road race today. I was in the 4/5 race, both my old coach and my new coach would love to see me in the 3’s, but after today, I think that 3 up grade might have gotten the kibosh.

Before I left this morning, Diane, who hates when I race road, was a little nervous about me racing in the rain. I said, “don’t worry, I’m gonna attack of the gun, get caught, and get dropped. I’ll ride the entire day by myself…” Hey, you gotta have plan…

During my road racing season, there was just one, I had some great people looking out for me. Matty D, Jay Jay, and Den Mother Tom. They all took me under their wings and taught me the principles of road racing. I am forever grateful for their efforts.

Matty D went as far as to email me basically a bible of how to race on the road. It was awesome. I read it like 20 times. I knew it verbatim. I lived it, I learned, I loved it.

If Matty D saw me race today, he would have bitch slapped me pretty hard.

Basically there are 2 ways to do a road race. First, race smart, save your energy, watch for the move, try to be in it, and in most 4 races, just hang around and be in the sprint at the end. Next, is how I rode today. I took a few flyers, talked some smack, and basically tried to stir things up the best I could. I had fun. But when things heated up, I was out of the kitchen quickly.

I got dropped, I had a good ride. First race of 2005 in the books. I still have a ways to go, it was really too early for me to be racing, but wtf it was fun. There is a part of me that really enjoys the silliness of road racing…

A number of WW guys were gonna come out today. Mike K and Buddy showed up. I had fun racing with them. Whew they are so strong. I was grateful to have Mike dragging my ass around after we got dropped for sure.

The other fellas got soft on me. That’s okay, the next time Matt T, Single Speed Dan, or Ted are putting the wood to me, I’ll just think about the day they pussed out because of the rain, and I’ll find the power to close that gap up…

FSVS looked tough today, they rode well, and put Chris Mc on the podium. Well done folks. Got to race with Wayne (the Erik Zable of Mid Atlantic Cross), that dude is cool. While riding in the pack we were laughing as I was being a jackass. I’m good at that. Met a couple of good guys from FSVS that I didn’t know. Always good to met new people...

Well, I still have :35 minutes to ride today, so I’m gonna clean up my bike and hit the rollers.

Respect
Fm…

Fear and Loathing in White Clay...

I must be getting sick, because I see Spots !

5:15 am
The alarm goes off. The sun is barely up. I reach on to the floor and grab my knickers. Rain is coming tonight, and I know this is gonna be my last chance to ride in the woods for a while. I want to be at the trail head by 5:45. Still the bed is warm, I am tired, and grumpy.

5:40 am
Out of the truck and on to the bike. I turn on my mp3 player. Sometimes some music helps get the blood flowing. I have the volume up a little high I reach back to turn it down. I can't find the button. I pull it out of my pocket, jerk the cord, which pulls my head back, I fumble the player, and launch it on to the ground. damn it. How has this thing lasted 3 years ? I pick it up. still working. back to the bike. I'm still grumpy

6:00 am
climbing over the border trail, my legs feel tired, I feel a small twinge of cramp in my calf. I know I'm a little dehydrated. Coming down the other side, I almost stack it as the front wheel breaks a little loose. Damn need new tires for this bike. great spend more money. I can hear Diane busting my chops now. This has been an expensive month. I bet shuffleboard would be a cheaper hobby. I climb the switch back, pushing myself, I am suffering. I think to myself. "you know, at Christmas, I just wanted to be able to ride my bike" " 8 weeks ago I just wanted to be able to not get dropped by my friends" " and now, now I want to be fast. why can't I be satisfied ?" What the hell am I doing out here at 6:00 in the morning ?" What the hell is wrong with me ? I struggle over the top of the switch back climb, used too much gas at the bottom. I'm cold, I start to question if I wore enough clothing. "damn it I should have stayed in bed." I am surly and getting crankier.

6:20 am
I climb over Brian's Field trail and hit a pocket of warm air. It feels good. My legs, although still tired have opened up. Prodigy's "smack my bitch up" thumps with a driving techno beat in my head. I rip through the corners, leaning way over. Yeah this is fun.

6:40 am
I climb crisply past the skills trail and descend with precision. I pass gentleman walking his dog. I give him a high 5. I love when people play my games. Iggy Pop is singing " I am a passenger. I ride and I ride..." I climb up the field behind Saint Bartoo's house and I know why I am here. This is what I do. damn it's beautiful. This sun is shining in it’s full glory. Iggy sings ," we ride through the city at night,,, la, la, la ladity da,..." I feel warm and giddy...

6:50 am
I'm heading back to the toaster (my truck)… Kid Rock sings in my ear "you get what you put in, and people get what they deserve, still I ain't seen mine, no I ain’t seen mine..." I sing out loud with the pimp of america. This is one of the things you can do before 7:00 am in the woods. I turn a crank in anger, I charge through the last section. My heart rate spikes. I am high on myself, basking in the glory of the trails, the sunshine, I cruise out of the park and on to Chambers Rock Road. I raise my hands in victory. This morning was a victory. I am totally stoked. I think to myself, "Good enough, is not good enough. Part of the fun of this game, is to see how far I can go, how far I can progress, and just what I can do, " I am a product of the Wooden Wheels Family, the freaking greatest mountainbike team in the world, I am proud to be a founding member of the Secret Henry's Team. I am the...

6:51am
Some MBNA motherfucker talking on his cell phone tries to run me off the bridge, that I was clearly on first. Bastard. Go play golf or something…

The Rolling Stones begin to play in my ears... "please allow me to introduce myself, I am a man of wealth and taste..." I feel a funny smile come across my face. Yeah, that's it. I am the Spot Brand Corporate Whore... I am a hack ass, small fish single speeder. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I turn right on to the fire-road that leads to my truck, and I know what I am, and why I am here early this morning. I am resplendent. "so if you meet me show some courtesy, have some sympathy and some taste…"

7:40 am
I’m at work with a Cheshire grin on my face, I call my wife and tell her I’m safe and that I love her. Today, is going to be a good day…

7:00 PM
Return from Henry’s tonight and Diane has some bad news for me. Diane reports sadly that Slick Rick and Dan the Man must be color blind, because my new jerseys no way match the henry’s shorts. That’s okay, matching is over rated anyway…

Respect
fm