I came home from my Sunday afternoon ride to find my lovely wife, Diane, taking a nap on the couch. I slipped out of my lycra, cleaned up and laid down on the bed. I was whooped and was very happy to get a few seconds to sit perfectly still.

My new pup, Layla, you know like the Clapton song, hops on the bed with a tennis ball in her mouth. The tennis ball has clearly seen better days. It was still green, but definitely had hints of brown, which I'll hope were mud. Layla dropped the ball on my stomach, and huffed at me. Wagging her tail she barked, encouraging me to throw the ball.

To tell the truth, I just wanted to go to sleep, but Layla was relentless, so I chucked the ball half hearted, out the bedroom doorway, over the banister and down the stairs. Riley, my other dog must have been coming up the stairs, because he charged up the stairs with the ball in his mouth. The dogs raced into the bed room, jumped on the bed and planted the ball on my stomach, ready for another throw.

Now, my first thoughts jumped back to the Brady Bunch. That's right, you know the one, the one where Peter was playing ball in the house and broke the vase. So I admit, my first instinct was to listen to Carol Brady's nagging voice and "don't play ball in the house" but... Riley and Layla barked at me, as if to say, "common man, it'll make you feel good." " all the cool kids are doing it", "the first time is free, just do it man..." I swirled with energy and in my head, yelled "f- you Carol Brady, I'm playing ball in the house! "

And so I started the routine. I picked up the slimy ball, fired it out the bedroom doorway, over the banister and down the stairs. My dogs launched themselves off of the bed, and then down the stairs chasing the green slimy ball of joy. They'd race back up the stairs, charge back in to bed, and gently place the ball back on my stomach. Quickly they'd bark, as if to say " common man, just one more hit, take just one more hit"

Boy did I , over and over, all from the comforts of my bed, laying on my back I threw the ball, out the door, over the banister, and down the stairs. And my boys, my dogs, they chased it like there was no tomorrow. What did Carol Brady know? I’ve got a lamp down there but as long as you have skill, and man for guys lying on their back throwing a slimy tennis ball, I’ve got mad skills. Carol Brady don’t know shit, if you’re smart you CAN play ball in the house.

After about 45 minutes of this, my pups, they were tired. However, more important in bringing this activity to a halt was that the ball had become less of a muddy tennis ball, and more of a slimy, saliva covered, slushy ball. I knew that when my hand felt like I sneezed in it, and my boy’s tongues were dragging the ground, it was time to call it quits.

Just then, Diane wakes up and I hear her call me. " Honey, come downstairs" For me this experience of throwing the ball out the doorway, over the banister and down the stairs all while laying prone on my backside was very peaceful and recuperative. I jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs. I noticed my pups; they stayed up stairs for some reason. As I walked down the stairs, with horror I looked at the wall that runs along the stairwell.

It was covered with tennis ball sized muddy, slimy, saliva covered marks. The wall that was formerly white was now polka dotted with slime. "god damn it, Ms. Brady was right!" I screamed. Diane asks "what?" as she turns the corner to see my handiwork. She starts laughing at me, I try to explain " honey, I was throwing the ball out the door, over the banister, and down the stairs" She continues " and apparently off the wall..."

A half hour later and two Mr. Clean Stain Removing Sponges later, I am happy to report that brown polka dotted wall, is once again white. Layla and Riley did not help clean up the mess. Somewhere Carol Brady is having the last laugh here. Karma, like Ms. Brady, can be a real bitch.

respect
fatmarc

Jumanji

One of the things I love about this time of the year, is how excited I am to ride. The passion is almost overflowing. Sometimes, I’m so excited for a ride that I can’t sleep the night before. It’s like a little kid with Christmas. Last night was one of those nights. I was up every couple of hours looking at the clock. 2am, 4 am, 5:30am… I was ready to rock…

However, this morning when I jumped out of bed, my body reminded me somewhat abruptly that I have started training a little later than usual, and I am still nursing an injury. Recognize this isn't the first time this has happened since I started trying to ride again. Usually I pop a couple of Advil, and rock out. However, this week, I have a procedure on my back. That's a nice way of saying that there gonna stick some big needles in my back with the hope of finding out what the hell my issue is and hopefully, a little cortisone that will help get me back to 100%... Pre-procedure instructions state no ibuprophen for the week prior to the injections. So I called Buddy and I bailed out. I was nervous about another long effort, and I knew there would be hills. Yeah, I'm really not doing so well with hills just yet.

Go ahead and say it, "You're a punk." "you punked out."
Yup, I'm a big ole wimp. What can I say, I suck, sorry kids.

So instead the wife and I headed into town, and got brunch. She went with French Toast, I had a breakfast quesadilla. The quesadilla had eggs, cheese, sausage and this really good salsa. It also came with some blazing potatoes. Kate's does a fine job of brunch for sure.

Feeling fat and lazy I hit LWeb's afternoon ride expecting and easy flat ride.
I was wrong. We rode the hills from hell in reverse basically. With the exception of one
45 second stretch where I half wheel helled Andrew, I felt pretty much like a beat puppy.

All in all a good ride, 2 more hours on the bike, some good climbing, and a great afternoon with some friends.

My favorite part of the ride, when I could catch my breath, was riding with my buddy Jeff (jebbagger) he was on a cross bike too. So both our bikes sounded like some kind of alien generator as the knobs rolled on the pavement. In the last mile we were climbing back up to the Brian and LWeb's place when I looked over at Jebbagger. He was climbing past me with great speed and fury. Jeff had his jersey unzipped all the way euro style. Out of the saddle, Jeff was sprinting up the hill with great enthusiasm. He came by me and just looked up enough to make eye contact. I think he just gave me a "lance look back" before closing me out for the day. If he was wearing Brikos sunglasses, I would have thought Pantoni himself was dropping me. Someday when that kid is famous, I'm gonna remind him of this ride.

It was a good day, a good day for sure.

Respect
Fatmarc

Tour De Fatmarc...

folks start to gather for the ride. Yeah I know the picture sucks, my batteries died and I missed out any chances to get good pictures.

In an effort of pure self preservation, I convinced everyone to ride from my house this morning versus the previous week’s route of the Tour De Chester. I like when rides leave from my house. I get up, yawn, let the dogs out, put on my tights, and my friends start showing up. This morning Ted and Buddy were the first to arrive, they came in we talked a little smack. It was great.

Big ole Group today and I’m gonna hope I don’t miss anyone:

Ted, Tom, Buddy, Dennis S, Freakishly strong Bryant, Slick Rick the Ruler, LWeb, Brian, Single Speed Dan, Justin T, James A, Biddle (Tie Domi of cross), Rock Star Henry T., Keith G (bobby’s boy), Fitzy and Andrew Mc

We had 2 other riders, Matt, who stopped in to say hello and then had to hit it, and Mike C, who forgot his shoes.

The ride was solid base pace. With the exception of one peppy section along the C&D Canal. Everyone was well behaved. The peppy section was fun. We had a big ole Tail wind and everyone was feeling the momentum. The McDaniel Boys, Ted and Tom attacked first and started doing slalom around the painted lines on the road. Slick Rick rolled up along side me and said, “hey electrical taped handle bar guy lets not waste a tail wind!” So we threw down a little attack. I quickly realized how little attack I had. Just as things started to settle down a bit, Biddle (the Tie Domi of Cross), put in a nice effort that very few, (buddy, rock star Henry, freakishly strong Bryant, single speed Dan, and Slick Rick) could counter.

We grouped after this section and rode together through Delaware city. Then the fun part of the ride started. Basically, we had to fight home into the head wind. With Ride Den Mother Tom helping to keep our line flowing, we rode tight formation home, with everyone sharing the workload. The head wind was brutal and could have been really painful, but alas we worked together and it was only a little painful. All in all we scored 3 hours and 30 minutes. Just what the doctor ordered.

Quick Notes:
only bad part about a ride leaving my driveway is that you miss out on the extra miles you can pick up riding to and from a ride.

Another benefit of riding from the house is that all the guys helped Diane unload the car as she was returning from grocery shopping. Thanks Buddy, Ted, Dennis and the freakishly strong Bryant. We all hung out for a bit after the ride exhausted. Diane liked how we all had great wind burned faces. Oh the joys of a headwind.

We found a cell phone during the ride. Slick Rick picked it up. Through out the ride it would ring in his back jersey pocket. If you are missing your phone and you were on Pleasant Valley road in the last 24hrs, give slick Rick a call, he has it.

Biddle (Tie Domi of Cross) was talking about putting a 24hr team together. I have mad respect for Biddle (Tie Domi of Cross), and I was really stoked he asked me to rock with the team. For the record if all goes as planned it would be Dan the man, Biddle (Tie Domi of Cross), Slick Rick and me. This could be a lot of fun

Speaking of endurance races, I got a teammate for the 12 hours of Lodi farms, and she wants to do a duo, I’m down with that. LWeb from IF, one of my favorite people in the world and I are gonna rock it.

Speaking of endurances races part duex. Team for West Virginia is still coming together nicely. Now if I can just remember how to ride a bike.

Went out to dinner with my brother Byran and his wife Tab last night. I had a catfish wrap with Jack cheese. It was really good. We tried to go to Brandwine Brewing Co, but they were closed. I mean forever, boarded up, that was a bummer but we ended up at Cromwell’s, which was a bit more hoity toighy, but damn tasty.

Diane and I hit Don Pablos today, I had a fajita salad. Kinda vanilla, but after the ride, it was great.

Rented more movies today. We got Mean Girls, Saved, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind, and Harold & Kumar go to White Castle. Reviews to follow.

Rode a Fisher RIG today. They are pretty nice, you know if you like an affordable bike, that is purple and as I see it's major down fall aluminum. I was really looking at the Reba fork. Local shop has one in for me, and I like it, I want it, but I'm not sure if I can get past the whole suspension thing. I've been rocking rigid for a while, and as much as I love the fork, I couldn't get myself to plunk down the money for it today. At the last second, I was like, I have to think about this... Thank god the shop is cool... Reba or Rigid, how would you go?

Respect
fatmarc

my buddy Karl sent me this quote today.
I thought it was bad ass.
I hope you do too :

From Peter Winnen Two time Alpe D'Huez winner.

"The moment you get rational in a bike race is the moment you lose your power. I also think that to achieve something,some destruction is necessary. Either you must destroy ideas or the barriers of your own body. Achievement rarely occurs without some destruction. In a bike race you destroy what you think you can do, and discover that you can do more."

worth a thought...

5 Movies, No Stairway Rule, and Riding with Karen B.

Look, I said no stairway and I meant it...

1. Big Fish- an instant classic for me. probably among my top 5 favorite movies. Seriously. I balled my eyes out. I starting crying at the end and I couldn't stop. The father-son stuff was good, but I don't think that's what got me. It was much more about the father and his philosophy of story telling. Personally, that hit some cord with me. Somewhere along the line, someone told me that life is the sum of your experiences and the stories you tell. For me, maybe one of the reasons I love my blog is that it gives me a forum to share my experiences, to tell my stories. My brother once said to me that I have a tendency to take the mundane and make an adventure out of it. That's how I want to live my life, an adventure. Damn, if the father in this movie wasn't preaching to this choir. To finish it off at the center of all the stories is the love story between this larger than life man, and a beautiful woman. Damn, I'm gonna start crying again... This movie couldn't have hit home more with me if they had single speed mountain bikers in it, wearing wool jerseys and racing 'cross in the fall. Add in Tim Burton's oddities of life, and damn, this movie really kicked ass.

2. Riding Giants- Outstanding. Look I surfed once in my life, and it wasn't pretty. And the breaks at Bethany Beach were far from Giants. But this movie is beautiful to watch, crafted very well, and frankly captivating. Laird Hamilton, who is the movies ultimate hero, was someone I thought was a tool from reading articles, seeing him with Gabby Reese. But, Damn, you see this movie and he is the freaking man. I imagine this movie hit surfers, much like Dogtown and the Z boys hit me as a skater. Stacy Peralta does a wonderful job of laying down the history, the respect for the elders that I think most mainstream sports lack now a days, and then traces a direct root to the current heroes of the sport. Timeless. Now that Stacy has covered surfing and skating I wonder what will be next, snowboarding? perhaps lawn darts ? Either way, the guy makes outstanding, compelling movies. The only way this could have been better is if Peggy Okie was in it.

3. Garden State- Very good. A little slow, but many humorous scenes. Basically the story of a young man who has been medicated his entire life and has basically become numb to the world. He stops taking his meds and begins to come to life. riveting. Natalie Portman does an incredible job. Good soundtrack, all around very tight movie.

4. Anchor Man, the real life adventures of Ron Burgundy- sucked. Really bad. I mean, totally wasted an hour and a half of my life bad. Don't waste your time, kiss your wife, play with your kids and your dogs, hell look at internet porn, you'll get more out of it.

5. Grind- another skateboarding exploitation film. However, unlike the classics "thrashin'" or "cleaming the cube" there's no underlying conspiracy, skaters take over the world, solve a crime plot. At the core of the film, this is a road trip movie. The story of 4 friends who set out on a mission, and drive across country. How can you go wrong with a road trip movie? You can't. Look this was not the deepest, or best movie I ever saw, but take road trip hijinks, stellar skating, hot chicks, and lots of cameos by Bam, how can you miss? If you loved road trips, this is worth a look.

Got to ride with Karen B again today, and damn, she still smacked me with that big ring. It was a solid hour, good lunch break, nice base miles. Feels damn good to pedal again. Only 441 hours and 30 minutes to go ...

respect
fatmarc

The Magical Bed...

Diane and I moved in together some 10 years ago. When we first moved into that rat hole apartment, we each had our own single beds. Hers was nice and on a beautiful brass frame. While mine was a little more sussed out and stacked on milk crates. So basically our beds were next to each other, but not aligned as hers towered over mine by about 6 inches.

The following Christmas we got our first Queen sized bed. It was cheap, but did the job, and meant we could finally bridge the gap that had become her beautiful brass bed, and my milk crate bed. The first day we got the bed, I thought it would be funny to climb up on to her dresser and jump on to the bed WWF style.

When I was a kid, my brothers and I regularly jumped from furniture to the bed with no worries. I proceed to launch myself through the air like "Super Fly Jimmy Snucka”, only when I hit the bed there is a large crash. I guess I didn't take into consideration the extra pounds I had gained as an adult versus being a 10 year old kid. Needless to say, I destroyed the box spring, and left a permanent indentation on the mattress. We were young, and struggling so what could we do? We slept on the now twisted and broken bed for years.

Ten years latter we had the same mattress, the same deteriorating, springs hitting you in the worst possible spots mattress. Last week as I got out of bed, I looked at the bed I was sleeping in. It looked like diorama of Fairhill complete with rolling fields. I exclaimed, “no wonder my back hurts, I 'm sleeping on a transition" " we are getting a new bed!”

And so, Diane and I set out and bought a new mattress and box spring. they were delivered with a smile on Superbowl Sunday, and last night we set it up. First impression was that it was much taller than our old set. We went with a pillow top, although the mattress and box spring are far firmer than our old set. Just as a joke I acted like I was gonna climb up on the dresser for another "snuka splash" and Diane shot me her best "WHAT THE FUCK" look. Thus I realized this would not be a good stunt for me to pull.

Slept in the bed last night, and to be honest although the bed was far more comfortable than our old mattress, I had a hard time adjusting. I guess I have just gotten used to sleeping on a spring, in a transition on an old broken box spring. My guess is that I will happily adjust soon.

Got to get out on the road for an hour yesterday. I rode with a cool woman from work Karen B. She does a number of tours, and racks up relentless miles. She lives local to work and knew a really fun, really good loop. She was laying the smack down on me pretty hard. I think she is Green Trek John's Sister because she never came out of the big ring the entire ride. Anyway, it was beautiful outside and it was great to be able to ride at lunch.

respect
fatmarc