The Magical Bed...

Diane and I moved in together some 10 years ago. When we first moved into that rat hole apartment, we each had our own single beds. Hers was nice and on a beautiful brass frame. While mine was a little more sussed out and stacked on milk crates. So basically our beds were next to each other, but not aligned as hers towered over mine by about 6 inches.

The following Christmas we got our first Queen sized bed. It was cheap, but did the job, and meant we could finally bridge the gap that had become her beautiful brass bed, and my milk crate bed. The first day we got the bed, I thought it would be funny to climb up on to her dresser and jump on to the bed WWF style.

When I was a kid, my brothers and I regularly jumped from furniture to the bed with no worries. I proceed to launch myself through the air like "Super Fly Jimmy Snucka”, only when I hit the bed there is a large crash. I guess I didn't take into consideration the extra pounds I had gained as an adult versus being a 10 year old kid. Needless to say, I destroyed the box spring, and left a permanent indentation on the mattress. We were young, and struggling so what could we do? We slept on the now twisted and broken bed for years.

Ten years latter we had the same mattress, the same deteriorating, springs hitting you in the worst possible spots mattress. Last week as I got out of bed, I looked at the bed I was sleeping in. It looked like diorama of Fairhill complete with rolling fields. I exclaimed, “no wonder my back hurts, I 'm sleeping on a transition" " we are getting a new bed!”

And so, Diane and I set out and bought a new mattress and box spring. they were delivered with a smile on Superbowl Sunday, and last night we set it up. First impression was that it was much taller than our old set. We went with a pillow top, although the mattress and box spring are far firmer than our old set. Just as a joke I acted like I was gonna climb up on the dresser for another "snuka splash" and Diane shot me her best "WHAT THE FUCK" look. Thus I realized this would not be a good stunt for me to pull.

Slept in the bed last night, and to be honest although the bed was far more comfortable than our old mattress, I had a hard time adjusting. I guess I have just gotten used to sleeping on a spring, in a transition on an old broken box spring. My guess is that I will happily adjust soon.

Got to get out on the road for an hour yesterday. I rode with a cool woman from work Karen B. She does a number of tours, and racks up relentless miles. She lives local to work and knew a really fun, really good loop. She was laying the smack down on me pretty hard. I think she is Green Trek John's Sister because she never came out of the big ring the entire ride. Anyway, it was beautiful outside and it was great to be able to ride at lunch.

respect
fatmarc

Blockbuster.

Let me explain something, Diane and I don't rent DVD's.
There was a time when we did, you know when we lived in Newark, but we had problems with returning on time, and thus began racking up late fees. We didn't really mind, because we never paid them. We'd accrue a late fee at one place, return the DVD, and basically go to another rental joint. Fuck fees. Yeah, were DVD dead beats. We were young and dumb, what can I say.

Well, tonight, after watchin weeks of "no late fees" ads from Blockbuster, we decided to give it a whirl. We are older, more fiscally responsible, and hell with no lates fees, how could we lose ? It had been 6 years since we rented anything from Blockbuster.

With just a little trepidation I filled out a new application for a membership, certain that I would set off some, "top 10 most wanted late fee violators" alarm. But sure enough we were in the clear. We pick out a few movies, and go to check out. In the Check out line we see our friend Brian, who is also getting some movies. He comments, " no late fees..." to which Diane retorts, much to my horror " yeah, I hope not ,we have a bunch from a long time ago..." In my head I scream, " WHAT THE FUCK !" I turn quickly to her giving her my best, "WHAT THE FUCK" look. I turn back to the register, and the clerk, who obviously heard her, and he is laughing. I hear Diane behind me "what? You think he heard me?"

The clerk now rosy cheeked and I'm guessing quite uncomfortable rings me up, and much to my surprise and Diane's best efforts, no late fees are charged. Whew... Dodged a bullet there. My Fatmarc-ExLax smooth move award goes to my lovely wife Diane.

BTW We rented :

Riding Giants
Garden State
Anchor Man
Collateral
Big Fish

Riding with the Black Train of Death,

also known as the Wooden Wheels Mountain bike team. Today we rode one of my favorite loops, the Tour de Chester County. The ride is usually just under 3 hours and has 4 "Matt Doyle Category" climbs, although the riding is never flat. Let me explain something. I haven't ridden a bike 3 hours in all of 2005. Yeah, I was in for a beating but I was looking forward to being on the bike and hanging with my friends.

Riding on the road with mountain bikers is an entirely different experience than riding with roadies. Let me explain. Roadies understand the concept of the group's strength being greater than the solo. Every rider understands their obligation to help the collective pack ride faster and more efficiently, until the end of the ride when all hell breaks loose. Mountain Bikers on the road hold no such illusions. Don't get me wrong they understand the logic of the pack, and frankly in most cases are far better bike handlers, however, there is always the urge to be at the front, pushing and to put the wood to the other riders. Our conscious starts telling us that we are somehow doing something wrong if we aren't attacking or pushing the pace. We were fortunate today as we had Tom Mc, the Wooden Wheels Den Team Mother, to help coach and guide us in our pack riding and trying to help keep us all together. Tom is great. Green Trek John, who coincidently was riding his black specialized allez, was the strong man of the day as he led up each and every climb. I'm not sure he even has a front derailleur, as he was in the big ring all day long.

Green Trek John explains why he boycotts front derailers...

Ted Logic = Full Facial Hair.

Laurie and Brian.

From my perspective everyone was riding quite well. Single Speed Dan L has been putting in some quality hours and it showed, Buddy and James both looked fit. James, like Andrew, Laurie and her husband Brian rode to the ride, as if it wasn't hard enough. Magic Mike K put in his typical ride, strong consistent and always right there ready to pounce. The first 2 hours of the ride were solid. Sure enough on each climb I would quickly find myself out the back. But I could use enough guile and pack smarts to stay with the group through the other sections and minor climbs. Mike from Wilmington Velocity, Wooden Wheels sister road team was impressive as he worked well with the group, and climbed quite well. Ted, rocking a killer Beard, rode in from his place, and pulled out a little early, sure enough applying Ted Logic, he was at the front for the first few climbs.

James pushing Tom who is pushing me...

After the third of four "Matt Doyle Category" climbs, roughly 2 hours in, I started to feel pretty shaky. Following the climb I was unable to climb back into the group. I spent the next few miles dangling at the back. As we turned on to Hillendale road, I was done. I had eaten but it was not enough I started to bonk in a bad way. James was talking to me at one point and I couldn't comprehend what he was saying. My ears hurt trying to listen to him. Once on route 82, I realized I was totally on my own, and I started to see colors. Flashes of white popped in front of my eyes. My range of vision decreased, it was tunneling. I was really starting to freak out a little. I was just trying to remember how to get home. James and Single Speed Dan, came back for me. They quickly started to feed me anything they had. Gu's and power gels that tasted better than the best ice cream or pudding I ever had. James had half a cliff bar, it was like filet mignon. Still I was fried. Tom, our den mother, came back and began to help push me up the hill into Hockessin. Just when Tom was starting to fade, Superman showed up. It was as if I was Jimmy Olsen and I hit my Superman "shit, I need help" watch and there was Dan the Man to save the day. Dan the man was sporting his new Beans/Reinhardt super suit, and was kind enough to push me in the rest of the way. Up the hill into Mendenhall Village, Dan was pushing me so fast, I wasn't even pedaling, and we gapped James, Dan and Tom, who were not exhausted from pushing my fat ass.

About that fellas, I apologize for the extra 12 pounds you had to push around, I promise to get back to fighting weight before the next time I die on the road.

In 12 years of riding, I have bonked a number of times, but today, was by far the worst ever. Lessons learned.
1. When taking that first training ride of the year, I do not recommend the Tour de Chester County.
2. Bring more food.
3. I am glad that I have such great friends who were able to get my fat ass home.

One thing is for sure, when you're down, it's along way up. Coming out of the ride, I was really, happy, and motivated to get back into my grove, to get strong again. Years ago there was a "pecking order" that wasn't talked about much, but was clearly something everyone in our riding group was aware of. Everyone fought tooth and nail, in a fun way, to move up that pecking order. Clearly today, I realized I am at the bottom of any pecking order. No worries, I was on my bike today for 3:30, even if I couldn't pedal the last 45 minutes :)

Respect
Fatmarc

Fatmarc in SLC.

Pre-
spent the last week in SLC. Outdoor retailer show, where anything and everything you can imagine from the world of outdoor toys is on display. I mean anything, from kayaks to tents to bikes to camel backs to climbing gear, to well clogs, which is why I was here. We busted our asses each day selling shoes, and folks in this industry love our shoes, which are great, and it was a non stop chaotic fun time of meeting people, sharing stories and getting their feet fitted for a great shoe. Each day about 3:00 you'd start seeing people cruising around with beers, as north face, timbuck 2, smartwool would each start serving beer. It was beautiful. I haven't done a lot of shows, each of the ones I have are a lot of work, but damn this was fun. I felt like I was in my element here. Lots of sideburns.

Boy Toy ?

Friday-
We set up the booth, merchandized the shoes, set everything up. My co-worker who planned this has got it down, I just let her point me in a direction and kick ass. She has everything orchestrated perfectly; we set up in just under 4 hours. Our sales reps, who are all very cool, help pull the whole thing off. We head up to Park City. The Sundance film festival is this weekend. It's really surreal. Town looks cool, but a lot of plastic people if you know what I mean. I'm a little weirded out, but I am with really good people so we have a good time. Best part was I was shopping with our Marketing director, she's 50, and I was walking around the store looking at stuff, we are talking, but nothing I thought was unusual. The sale lady comes up to me put her arm on my shoulder and says, "it's really nice how you shop with your lady like that..." My friend kinda rolls with it and says, "common sweetie" " I smile a big ole Cheshire smile, figure it's probably not to unusual in the Hollywood set or big coin set of Park City for a 50 year old, attractive, funny woman to have a 33 year old boy toy with big ole fuzzy sideburns. Damn, I'm a boy toy. I chirp up "coming right along..." the rest of the week we get a lot of mileage out of this, everyone at the booth thinks it's funny as hell. Went to Redford's restaurant, ZOOM, had a couple of G and T's and a nice piece of elk. I hope I can get a burrito tomorrow.
Saturday-
busy day again, met nice lady from camel back I think she's gonna give me a homie hook up on a new rocket or one of the hot new winter models with MP3 Player pocket. Had a pastrami sandwich today, it was good.

The Reverand Horton Heat...

Sunday-
Show was busy again, and very fun. I never really worked retail before, but had an awesome time meeting folks, sharing stories and rocking out. The first hour I was totally nervous, totally freaking, I was talking a million miles a minute, but my friend Diana, put her hand on my shoulder and said, "just have fun." And I did. Met a number of cycling industry folks, lots of just really cool folks. that was rad too. Talking to the cycling folks they look at me funny when I talk about bikes. I guess they wonder why a clog guy is talking about single speeds and cyclocross worlds. Yeah, That was cool too. I was pimping Spot just a little. Met some good people. High light of the day. about 5:00 some guy c0mes by the booth and drops off an invitation to come upstairs and see the REVEAND HORTON HEAT! Are freaking kidding me! So we close up at 6:00 and run up. The Reverend kicked ass. But may be the funniest part of this is that aside the stage they have a huge video screen running a promo for the magazine Hooked on the outdoors. Well, I look up and there is a tall skinny guy in a black wool jersey with the Hulk Hogan mustache, next I look up and shit there's a guy in a pink helmet and sleeveless wool jersey. I almost choke on my beer, as I yell out "hey, that's me!" I'm in the video!" It was so funny, I had my friend Shawn and Dave with me, and I'm like check it out that's me at Pedro's Fest... look the guy in the pink helmet." I think they believed, anyway, I called Diane and she laughed. My 15 seconds of fame. Had two burritos today, Lunch was from a burrito cart, it was pretty good, tasty stuff. Burrito Rio I think. Dinner was at Z te has ? Any way had a smothered burrito, not sure what it was smothered in but damn it kicked ass.
Monday-
thank god for Seirra Nevada, untampered with beer. there is cleanliness about this city that just makes me want to drink. Nice place, the town looks like it should be the best street skating place in the world, but no signs of skaterdom any where. Low handrails, benches, stairs, I even saw brick walls with transition from the ground up to top. But alas nothing... Had a Greek pizza tonight, lots of feta cheese and spinach. I must have gained 10 pounds on this trip... base starts when I get home, back or no back. I have to do something before I explode. gonna get some kind of burrito to day. I listen to my MP3 player and I get totally worked up to be back in training mode. But clearly, today, I am not... Need more seirra nevada...
Tuesday-
last day of the show. we take an hour and a half to break down and then head up to snow bird. It's one of the reps birthday's. Sitting around the table his brother and another good friend give the most sincere heartfelt toasts to the guy on his 50th birthday. I have only known most of these guys for a few months, but damn, it's good to be associated with people like this. I don't think in my bank life that anything like this could have happened. I had a chicken burrito from the burrito hut today, not nearly as good as the steak. I'm tired and really ready to come home.
Wednesday-
Basically jumped out of my hotel bed and into my plane. Man I really don't dig flying but there are few feelings sweeter than landing and finding your wife waiting for you at that gate. Damn, I wanted to hug her forever. No burritos today, although I did have a southwest salad on the plane that was not horrible.