Wednesday, October 29, 2008

199: cretin hop

Tonight was the last DCCoD practice at the School X. I am always saddened by this last practice. It means the season is coming into it’s final half. It means that finding daylight to ride in is almost impossible. It means we relocated to a new practice area, which while very fun, has nothing on School X.
breyla-la looks good in the black:
Rotten Robert demonstrates rule number 8 of the DCCoD: always overdress at practice.
After practice we all headed to El Jefe:
Tonight Robert and I got to share pot tonight. No Silly, not that pot, this pot:Spicy! Tasty too…
JD is someone I really respect, and have affection for. He has written an excellent essay here.
I saw an awesome Ramones documentary last night called End of the Century. If the Ramones impacted your life, you must see this. I became aware of the Ramones in late '89. The first time I heard them I can remember saying to myself, " damn are you kidding me? This is how it should be." I was lucky enough to see them 3 times. Each time I saw them, they stormed the stage with the Good, the Bad and the Ugly as their entrance music each time and proceeded to blow me away. Too good.
Remember when you're at the races this weekend Cheer nicely okay? We're all in this together. Without community the fun part of cross is pretty much dead.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

198: some dude's junk

I just finished watching Speed Racer. I have to say I liked the story, I liked the fact that writers stayed true to the comic book mythology, while making connections to the cartoon, that as I child I loved. I really liked Christina Ricci as Trixie.

What I didn't like was the racing scenes. It was like watching a video game. The race through the mountains was okay, everything else, not so much. Kinda killed the movie a bit. I mean you can't hardly have a movie about Speed Racer with sucky racing scenes can you?

I also saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall, which was entertaining. Not Superbad, Not Knocked Up, but entertaining. I don't have any issues with male full frontal nudity, but I have to say I think I have seen more of this guy's junk than I ever need to see again in my life. Did I mention that I kinda liked Trixie?

No racing for Monkey and I this weekend. Finishing up with Wiss, we completed a run of 5 cross races in 10 days, and both of us were really looking forward to sleeping in Saturday morning. Sleeping in for us of course means staying in bed until 7:00. Kind of a lazy week for us.

Sunday afternoon in my pursuit of fish tacos I happened upon the Newark Halloween Parade. Three-fourths of the Bohnson-Webber (pronounced BANSON) clan were in the parade. They were doing a routine where L-Web held up flaming rings, and Jebalicous and Meghan jumped tricycles through them. It was all very impressive, something like this:

Kinda of serendipitously, I bumped into my sister in law and husband with Jake and Superchunk, so I sat and watched the parade with them. That was really a fun time, I taught them both how to do a good parade wave.

For my cross hungry friends, this write up is probably pretty lame. I mean you are tuning in to hear about cross racing from the DCC0D and the MidAtlantic this weekend, not a lame movie review and stories of me hanging with my nephews.

Well, I did ride my mountain bike for the first since July. It was fun, and I didn't crash.
thanks for reading.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

198: one eyed frog

I’m driving to work today and I smell a distinct odor: Beer.

Problem is I can’t figure out where it’s coming from. I look around the back of the toaster I am thinking that perhaps and empty bottle may have gotten left in a cup holder or something. No Dice.

Perhaps there was a wounded solider in the door Slot? No dice.

I just can’t figure out what that smell is. As I park the car and begin to walk into work, I reach into the pockets of my custom Charm City Cross 7nd place jacket,And find my sweet Under Armour gloves. As I slide them on, everything becomes apparent. These were the gloves I wore after the race Sunday, you know when Jay P
was making sure my cup was overflowing. Some of the overflow must have gotten on my gloves. I decided to leave them in the car for today.

My teammate Bad Andy really got screwed during the race Sunday at Wiss.

This is what happens when your belly busts out of your new team uniform destroying the zipper. I guess this means I’m moving back in the the extra large kit…
Saturday at Granogue there was this guy, Lauri's friend Matt. Every time I looked at him I swore it was Wes. Twice I almost walked up to him and started talking to him. I am convinced it's what Wes will look like in 10 years. Pictured below, Wes and Matt.
Jan, Dennis, Monkey, FIL and I rode the Fairhill course the other night. It will be very similar to last year's course with a few fun little tweaks. Jan is the DS (director supreme) for the race, and he asked me to work out the course, and course set up. It's gonna be fun. You should register here.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

197: beards and eye brows

This is my teammate Zach pretty much killing himself in support of me last weekend. The kid bleeds this sport and pulls through in pretty much every aspect of the game. I am proud to have him as a teammate and a friend. And yes, I did tell him that his beard was awful, and not going to help him with the ladies, unless of course he was going Amish. Damn Amish, they got another one.
So I live in a college town which is pretty cool.

Saturday Night driving home from Granogue I was going through said college town during the end of a long day of homecoming festivities in town. I see two couples dressed up pretty well, I'm guessing coming from some type of formal or something. I also see a bunch of hooligans standing on a deck waving dollar bills and jeering at them.

Now the 2 couples are looking pretty wobbly. I'm guessing pretty much 3 sheets to the wind. Suddenly one of the formally dressed ladies reaches up and grabs a fist full of money from the hooligans standing on the deck cheering at them, and promptly pulls down the front of her already low cut shirt down showing the fellas on the deck, and a tired old guy driving home after helping clean up a cross course her boobies.

Sweet I got flashed.
"BOOBIES!!" I shouted as I suspect most 38 year old men, with the heart of a 14 year old would have done. I laughed to myself as I drove away.

sometimes living in a college town is okay.

Tom, Lauri and all the DCCoD community really did a great job helping to make sure the Granogue race went off as successfully as it did. 500 some riders, probably the toughest men's elite field thus far this year. Lots of Buddy, Elizabeth, and Breyla-la shaking their money makers, and raising money for HERA. Lots of fun. It was a lot of work for everyone in the community, but something I am very proud of; it is a statement to the character of the people involved in our sport locally . Thanks to FSVS, the Secret Henry's Team, C3-Sollay, everyone in the community who pitched in to make this event happen. It was pretty rad.

I do have one question for my Cat 4 race friends. What the hell did you guys do to the course? Seriously I never saw so much tape down on the ground. Slick Rick said the entire upper loop by the greenhouse was destroyed, and he had to re-tape it all. Anyone know what went on 0ver there?

Granogue was outstanding, my race went well, I smelled a 5th place finish but Jenx and Ian worked me over a bit, and I ended up losing a sprint to Ian for 6th. Still, I was really happy with my ride, there wasn't really much more I could do. What's up with my new mask of pain? My eye brows are out of control. How lame.

Sunday, I didn't race my strengths, after sliding out twice on the opening lap, I was tentative in the corners. The machine, the engine she was pretty good, the driver, not so much. In the end I won a two up sprint from Matt of Dynaflow. Coming up the straight I kept saying to myself, "I'm not losing 2 sprints in 2 days, I'm not losing 2 sprints in 2 days." Not my greatest ride, but got through it with a 12th place finish.

Monkey had a very solid ride at Granogue pulling down an 8th place, Sunday at Wiss she had a killer start and then flatted on the first lap, she pretty much hates her pit bike, so we did 2 changes and put a new wheel on her A bike. (this was a point of contention, but I leave it alone because I don't want to sleep on the couch.)

I was proud of monkey as she battled back to 17th in a field of over 40. Not the ride she wanted, but a good effort. Some days there are moral victories.

Special props to Rich who had a break though effort today, I knew he had it in him. Killer ride.

And so after racing 5 cross races in 10 days, I partook of a few Victory Hop Devil ales after the race. Some might so, a few too many. Jay P wouldn't let me walk by without topping off my bottle.
I have a history with Hop Devil, it always makes me feel kinda trippy, so if I told you that your face was melting or said something trippy and cool, or gave you an "I love you man!" sorry it was the Hop Devil speaking. Buddy would be so proud of me.

ps as always thanks to Dennis and Anthony for their great photos, and letting me use them.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

196: no sleep 'till brooklyn

This is my wife and teammate Diane.
This is our teammate Laura Van Gilder.
This is Diane and Laura Van Gilder. (bad kat and wes in the background too)
Both Diane and Laura are short and blonde. Since Laura joined our team, Diane has been asked a number of times if she was Laura. Diane is Diane. Laura is Laura. Honest mistake.

Granogue is coming together quite well. Noodled around the course the other night, and dare I say, it was a lot of fun. Oh sure, it's hard as hell, technical and brutal, but it was damn fun. 432 pre-registered for the race. That and a mailbox full of emails for me to answer tonight all saying, "I missed registration. Will there be day of ?" Not making a judgment here but we had reg open for over a month. Just saying...

The DccoD has been working extra hard this year, Granogue should be lots of fun. Looking forward to Wiss too. I love that course, if nothing else it means that another successful Granogue race will be behind us.

look forward to seeing you all this weekend.

Please don't knock me over when you pass.


Monday, October 13, 2008

195: UCI-3 OHIO

It's 2 am Monday morning. Zayne Braun (wes) is driving my Element up rt 68 in West Virginia at the speed of sound. Monkey is riding shot gun, I'm resting in the back. Following closely in the Krafter pulling Tom's space bubble, also known as the Drafter are Lweb, Jebalicious, Newt, Tom, and Rich.

Hurling ourselves through time and space we are jubilant, exhausted, and stoked from our experience at the Cincinnati UCI 3 day cross festival. As we return to our secret identities back on the east coast it's hard to not smile thinking about the racing. We had a pretty big crew with LVG, Mayhew, Bad Kat, Bad Andy, Max Auer, and Breyla-la rounding out our little traveling circus.

Zayne turns to us and asks what is the experience from the weekend that you'll remember most?

Monkey chimed in first: "a few things. First Saturday's course was one of the most fun ever, (we all agreed) racing at the front of the group was awesome and the of course the Shinning hotel."

That's right, weekend director Mitch Graham must be a huge Shining fan, because why the hell else would he send anyone to that awful Manchester Inn. I like old. I like eclectic. I like character, and a place that reflects it's home town. However, blood stains on the floor, carpet older than me and a smell that I just can't quite nail down- Not too much. When Diane started to talk to her index finger and say "red rum" "red rum" I knew it was time to check out.

Our circus greeted the Holiday Express in West Chester, closer to our third and final venue, much like vikings warriors entering Valhalla. "I'm not really a bike racer but I stayed at a holiday inn express last night."

I asked Wes what jumped out for him.

He replied, "Saturday night at the Thai restaurant and we were all shattered. As the food and drinks started to arrive we all came back to life, and the stories started to flow."

The best of which was the origin of Bad Andy. You know as a comic book nerd I love secret origin stories, and although I can't tell you Bad Andy's story, I will say it involved face melting, Kelly Cline and mulch. As Andy told the story everyone at the table was in tears with laughter.

Finally Zayne and Monkey turned to me. My answer was very simple. Milton's donuts. Clearly the second best thing about Manchester, Ohio. The first of course being the Java Johnny's race.

I also remember the first day when some local juniors came up to Jebalcious. "are you Jeff Bohnson?"It was pretty weird for Jeff, who really is kinda the perfect little brother, with like ten big brothers and sisters basically picking on him all the time. So to have these kids asking "are you Jeff? I saw your ad in Velo news" was a little weird for me , poor Jebalicous must have been crawling in his own skin. Don't all your local juniors have ads in Velo News ?

As for the racing, we rolled pretty well. Wes and Lauri picked up some UCI points. Bad Andy was nothing short of inspiring Sunday, Bad Kat had two very solid days finishing 9th Sunday in a stacked women's' 3-4 field. Rich had the best race of his life Saturday, Tom was all smiles and still hasn't looked to see what place he got. LVG continued to be the fastest cross rookie in the world. Auer was in the money Friday and Saturday and knocked out with the flu Sunday. Jebalicious was bootylicious sweeping the weekend with Mayhew in tow. Monkey battled at the front all 3 days, taking the top spot in the women's 3/4 35+ Friday. I was super proud of her. As for me, Friday I lead for 1/2 a lap and finished DFL, followed up by two top 20 rides that I was pretty damn pleased with.

As always, it was great to see cross in another region, meeting Mike J who was a really good sport and will never ask for a refund again, spent sometime with Georgia who is a real class act, have team hungry cheer for me, and give me a taste of the high life, great to see the Comptons and take pictures of me with Katie's bike.

Smash crash baby, smash crash.

How will we follow it up?

Our race: Granogue Saturday.

Wiss Sunday.

Arguably the best weekend of cross racing in the Mid Atlantic. Clearly the most Royal.

Don't miss it folks.

Thanks for reading.



Wednesday, October 8, 2008

194: caterpillar

Check out the love from the DCCOD and C3-Sollay during the elite masters race at the Hill Billy Hustle. It’s good to have friends in the pit for sure. Jebbagger, Bad Andy, and Disco are as good as any cross racer in the region, but more importantly, they always pull through. Proud to be DCCoD and C3 brothers with these guys.

I had one of those weeks that cause me to look back on my life and notice the subtle changes in myself. You know like when your eye brows start to look like caterpillars:
Maybe I end up like my childhood hero Lance Mountain:
Or Andy Rooney: Or Bert:
Be safe, Have fun. May you all have eyebrows that remind you of caterpillars.

Anthony always gets my best side.
I think this party needs a little more metal.
MAC scores are up. Check 'em out.


Sunday, October 5, 2008

193: the high life

Saturday my family got together to celebrate my father's birthday.
it was good to see these guys:

I called bingo on my nephew for the hat and asked my brother if he was gonna get a little fixed gear or something for him?

In case you hadn't noticed, cheese comes naturally in the fatmarc clan:
In this super close up check my 3 year old nephew making sure to get in the picture

it was a pretty fun day. Damn good to see those guys...
Sunday was the Hill Billy Hustle. Joe Wentzel and Joe Reynolds do a fabulous job putting on this event. I have to admit, it's quickly become one of my favorite races. The course is super sweet, fast and fun, and the house next door to the race has a cool donkey tied up in the front yard.
did you see the junk on that thing?
When I was recently called a donkey dick, I don't think I realized how big of a dick I was being.
Wow, I'm sorry.

Race went well for me, the sensations in my legs were very good. Took home a 7th place in the masters race today. I flatted a tubie about half way through the race, my DCCoD and C3 brothers made sure I had a smooth bike change, and I was back on course. I rode with Chris Long through the middle of the race. I threw the kitchen sink at him with 3 to go. Then he dropped the refrigerator on me with 2 to go and ended up taking 30 seconds or so by the finish. Maybe my best race this fall. Good efforts.

and since I was living the high life this weekend, and I have this cute little lime tree that produces the best limes, I figured I might as well sample a little of the high life...

it is the champagne of beer after all...



Wednesday, October 1, 2008

192: lucky

My team director and friend Kris was in a serious car accident as he was leaving the city Sunday morning headed out to the Ed Sander's Cross race. Kris's car was totalled. His bikes:

yeah, totalled.

Thankfully, Kris walked away relatively unscathed. He's a little sore, but doesn't appear to have any longer lasting effects from the crash. He is in fact hoping to cobble a bike together, get a couple of treatments on his sore spots and race this weekend.

Hug the wife, the boyfriend, your friends, your family. We are all pretty damn lucky to have each other.
that's all I have to say about that.